chapter SEVEN
GEORGIE had seen Josh every day for the past week, at work or after work or both. He was playing the role of the perfect boyfriend perfectly. Her parents thought he was fantastic and Georgie had to keep reminding herself that he was acting. His acting skills were beginning to rival his medical skills.
She was dressing for Lani and Isaac’s wedding but it was taking her twice as long as usual. Her hands shook as she zipped up her dress, as she applied her makeup, and they were still shaking as she tried to slide a silver clip into her hair to keep it out of her eyes.
Josh was coming to collect her to take her to the wedding and no matter how many times she told herself otherwise it felt like she was waiting to go on a real date. She was full of nervous anticipation and she was finding it hard to keep a clear head.
He had everyone convinced that he and Georgie were a serious item. If he hadn’t told her about Tricia, even she might believe there was a chance he could feel something for her. But Georgie had the impression that Josh was quite content living his solitary life and was not planning on giving it up. But if she thought she had a chance to change his mind, would she take it?
Josh arrived just as she finally got the hairclip into place. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw him standing before her. He was wearing a light grey suit with a white shirt and he looked divine. The suit fitted his broad shoulders perfectly, the cut was exact, and Georgie guessed it had been tailor-made for him. The colour of the suit was a perfect match for his grey eyes.
‘You look beautiful.’ She thought he was reading her mind again before she realised he was complimenting her.
‘Thank you,’ she said as she smiled at him.
‘You both look gorgeous,’ Sofia gushed. ‘Let me take a photo before you go.’
Georgie took her camera from her handbag and handed it to her mother. Josh wrapped his arm around her waist as she stood beside him and her stomach did a lazy somersault of desire. As she posed for the photo she reminded herself not to forget it was all make-believe. She was worried that the invisible line between friendship and something more was disappearing. She’d have to be careful to make sure she didn’t blur the boundaries between their pretend relationship and their real one.
The wedding and reception were being held in one venue, the yacht club overlooking the Cairns marina, and there were plenty of guests already assembled when Georgie and Josh arrived. Isaac was mingling with the crowd, showing no sign of pre-wedding nerves as he waited for his bride, but Georgie only had eyes for Josh.
She’d felt a million dollars when she’d walked into the room on Josh’s arm and that feeling stayed with her even when they became separated as they mixed and chatted with other guests while they waited for the ceremony to start. But even when he was on the opposite side of the room she had no difficulty finding him. It seemed she could find him through osmosis, almost as though she could channel his energy and feel where he was.
He was chatting to Marty but he must have felt her gaze. He looked across at her and winked and as the music started for the ceremony he made his way back to her side. The guests began taking their seats and with his hand resting lightly in the small of her back Josh guided her towards two empty chairs. As they sat he removed his hand from her back and held her hand instead. She thought she should tell him he didn’t need to, her parents weren’t there to see, but because he’d never listened to her before and because she was enjoying the contact she kept quiet.
Josh’s attentiveness didn’t waver throughout the evening. They were seated together at a table with their QMERT colleagues and even though they all knew the story behind their ‘date’ Josh continued to play his part. He held her chair for her, kept her water and champagne glasses filled and constantly touched her knee or arm to get her attention. Each touch of his hand made her blush and she was finding it difficult to concentrate on the conversation as his touch was so distracting. As Isaac led Lani onto the dance floor for the bridal waltz Georgie finally decided to let Josh off the hook.
‘It’s okay, Josh, everyone knows it’s just pretend, you don’t need to worry about me.’
‘I don’t mind,’ he replied. ‘It’s easier to stay in character.’ He leant back as he spoke and rested his arm across the back of her chair, brushing his forearm against her bare shoulder. ‘I think it’s becoming a habit.’
Georgie wasn’t sure if she liked the sound of that but she didn’t argue any further, content to sit and enjoy his company, and if he was happy to continue playing his role she wasn’t going to stop him. But as other guests joined the bride and groom on the dance floor, Josh stood. He leaned over her shoulder and his voice was soft in her ear as he asked, ‘Would you dance with me?’
She looked back at him and smiled. ‘Of course.’
* * *
Josh pulled Georgie’s chair out for her and smiled when she slipped her hand into his and let him lead her onto the dance floor. He’d been waiting for this moment all night. Waiting for an excuse to have her in his arms.
She was beautiful. He’d grown so accustomed to seeing her in her work overalls that seeing her in a formal dress was a revelation. It was as if he’d met her for the first time all over again. All evening he’d found himself distracted. Distracted by her and distracted by the sequins shimmering on her silver dress.
He took her in his arms and her cinnamon and honey scent wafted over him. He wondered if he’d just made a mistake. Would he be able to dance with her in his arms? He feared he might suddenly discover he had two left feet. But then she looked up at him, her dark eyes luminous, her lashes thick and long, and his feet began to move of their own accord as he lost himself in the depths of her eyes.
The band was playing a waltz and he pulled her in closer, letting the music wash over them. His right hand rested at the base of her spine, his left held her fingers. She fitted perfectly within his embrace. Her heels gave her enough extra height to make her the perfect dance partner for him and he guided her around the floor, his arm wrapped around her waist, her head just below his. Every time he breathed in he inhaled her perfume and he knew the scent of cinnamon and honey would always remind him of her.
Her dress clung to her curves. Its neckline was demure but the exposed skin on her arms was smooth and soft and delightful. Her hair was pulled back on one side and caught in a silver clip but it cascaded down her back in soft curls and all night he’d been longing to run his hands through it, to feel its weight in his palms. On the dance floor he could slide his hand under her hair and as far as he was concerned that was the next best thing.
He knew he was supposed to be playing a role but it was becoming more and more difficult to remember that. Her scent, her red-lipped smile and her soft velvet skin were becoming part of him and he had to fight to recall that their relationship was just a pretence. It was starting to feel real.
Georgie was getting under his skin. It was dangerous. He should be wary but he was positive he could keep things under control. He hadn’t made a mistake so far. What was the harm in satisfying their desires? He’d promised not to fall in love; he hadn’t promised not to try to seduce her.
He was sure the attraction wasn’t one-sided but he had to make certain. He bent his head to hers, burying his face among the soft curls of her hair, and whispered, ‘You look amazing.’
He was pleased to see he was able to make her blush. If he hadn’t been so close to her he wouldn’t have noticed the deepening colour of her cheeks. It was hard to see with her olive skin, but from a few inches away there was no disguising it.
‘Thank you.’ She smiled and her eyes sparkled and her teeth were bright against her dark red lips.
The song ended and the band began to play a more up-tempo tune. Josh couldn’t keep Georgie in his arms but he wasn’t ready to let her go. He led her onto the balcony overlooking the marina. It was his chance to get her alone, away from their colleagues. There was something he wanted to ask her.
‘What are you doing after the wedding? Am I taking you home or would you come home with me?’
‘Why?’ She looked up at him and her eyes were twin pools of midnight, inky black and shining.
He knew this was dangerous. If she came home with him he would be mixing physical intimacy with emotional intimacy and that was something he didn’t do. He should stop now, before it was too late. He should leave her alone, but as he looked at her in his arms he knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He liked the way he felt when she was with him.
It had been a long time since he’d had a relationship that wasn’t just about sex. It was dangerous but something about Georgie made him want to try it.
‘Let me show you something.’ He took her hand and pulled her close. The moment he touched her he could feel her soul. He could see her react to him. Her face was like an open book—every thought flashed across it and he knew his touch stirred her in the same way hers stirred him. He placed her hand over his heart. They were alone on the balcony but he wouldn’t have cared if there was a room full of onlookers. Her hand was cool through his thin shirt. ‘Can you feel my heart beating?’ She nodded. ‘Its rhythm is your rhythm. We have a spark. I want you to imagine how we could make each other feel. There is something real between us. It’s not all make-believe. Don’t ignore it. Don’t fight it.’
‘What do you want me to do?’ Her voice was a whisper.
‘Come home with me. Explore our connection, see where it takes us. Don’t deny yourself that pleasure.’ His heart throbbed with longing where it beat under the touch of her palm. He lifted her hand from his chest and kissed her fingers, slowly, deliberately, one by one, drawing out the moment of intimacy. Her eyelids fluttered closed and he knew she was thinking about his proposal. ‘We can have a night to remember.’
He bent his head. He had one last chance to convince her. He put his fingers under her chin and gently tipped her head up. She didn’t open her eyes and she didn’t resist. His lips met hers. Her mouth was soft, warm, pliant. She moaned a little as he teased her lips apart. His tongue darted inside her mouth and she welcomed him, opening to him. He had one hand behind her back and he pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss. Her hands slid up his back and pressed through the thin fabric of his shirt. Her breasts were flattened against his chest. He could feel her nipples through her dress, hard and erect against his body, and he knew their attraction was mutual.
She was holding onto him as tightly as he was embracing her. Her hips pushed into his groin and he knew she must be able to feel his response to her touch. He let her kiss him back. Let her feel their connection.
‘Come home with me,’ he repeated.
‘No.’ She was shaking her head. Her soft, black curls bounced around her shoulders and cascaded down her back, distracting him. ‘I’m not denying we have chemistry but I see no point in complicating things. This is make-believe. We are make-believe. Remember?’ She gave a slight shrug that sent the sequins on her dress shimmering again.
‘I remember. But it’s only one night, it doesn’t need to change anything. There’s nothing to worry about. Nothing to be afraid of. No strings attached.’
Before he could beg, plead, argue or cajole any further, they were interrupted by the master of ceremonies. He was summoning everybody to the dance floor to say farewell to the bride and groom.
‘I’m sorry, Josh, one-night stands aren’t my thing.’
Georgie pulled her hand from his and moved away. It appeared the discussion was over.
He watched her go.
At least one of them had the sense to fight this attraction. He’d been mad to propose the idea.
He let her go. He couldn’t have followed her even if he’d wanted to. He needed to wait for his desire to abate. It was several moments before he was able to leave the balcony, by which time the women had gathered around the edge of the dance floor ready for the traditional tossing of the wedding bouquet. He threaded his way through the throng to the peace and quiet of the far side of the room, away from the women, away from Georgie. But from the opposite side of the room he had a clear line of sight to where she stood. She was right in the centre of the crowd, surrounded by other women.
* * *
Lani turned her back to the female guests and lofted the bouquet over her head. The bouquet hit Georgie solidly in the chest. It was a natural reflex to catch it.
She could feel everyone’s eyes on her but she could feel one pair in particular. Across the dance floor a pair of gunship-grey eyes watched her as she caught Lani’s flowers. Over the delicate bouquet of frangipani flowers she met his gaze.
She stood still, holding the bouquet, as Josh turned and raised one eyebrow.
She wanted to go to him but she held her ground. She couldn’t give in.
She had no doubt they would have had a night to remember and even though she could imagine in minute detail how the night would have proceeded, she couldn’t do it. She was afraid she wouldn’t be happy with just one night, and it could be nothing more.
He’d offered her sex with no strings attached but that was the trouble. She couldn’t trust herself to handle that. It would be like playing with fire and she knew she’d be the one to get burnt.
They were too different. He was a confirmed bachelor, focussed solely on his career with no strong family ties and no plans to ever settle down. She wanted to fall in love, she wanted to be married one day, she wanted a family of her own. Their backgrounds, their views on life and love, they were all different. She wished for the chance to get him to open his heart but she didn’t think she was up to the challenge. He wasn’t going to change for her or anybody else.
She wished she could have gone home with him. She wished he was offering her more than one night but that wasn’t going to happen.
He’d told her there was nothing to be afraid of. But he was wrong. She was afraid of getting her heart broken and in her mind that was plenty. He had promised not to fall in love. She’d made no such pledge.
She didn’t think she could.
* * *
I could have danced all night and still have danced some more. Georgie couldn’t remember the right words but it didn’t matter, she knew exactly how Eliza Doolittle had felt.
She climbed the steps leading to her deck and twirled around, reliving the feeling of being in Josh’s arms, of being swept around the dance floor. Since the moment the music had begun she’d imagined how it would feel to be in his embrace but her imagination hadn’t been able to capture the delight; the sensation of floating on air, the warmth of his hand where it had rested in the small of her back, the firmness of his shoulder muscles under her fingers or the soft brush of his breath as his words had caressed her cheek.
She could have quite happily stayed in his arms until the sun came up. But she would have been a fool to take that option. A fool to open herself up to those feelings. She’d have to be content with the memories. And if that was all she was going to have, she was determined to hold onto them.
She held the bouquet of frangipani flowers in one hand as she opened the back door. She was still humming the tune as she walked into the kitchen.
‘You sound as though you had a good night.’ Sofia’s voice greeted her as she closed the door.
‘Mum! What are you doing up?’
‘Your father can’t sleep. I got up to make him a warm drink and now I’m wide awake so I thought I’d wait up for you. How was the wedding?’
‘It was lovely.’ Georgie sighed. ‘Isaac and Lani were so happy and their mood was infectious. Lani looked gorgeous. I took more photos,’ she said as she put the bouquet on the table and removed her camera from her evening bag. ‘Would you like to see?’ Georgie had planned to come home and take her memories of Josh to bed with her as some form of comfort but she couldn’t ignore her mother.
They sat together at the table as Georgie scrolled through the photos. There were several of Lani and Isaac exchanging vows and several more pictures of the QMERT team, which Georgie had taken during dinner, and a couple of Isaac and Lani during the bridal waltz. Georgie thought they were the last photos but her mum continued to go forward and the next photo was one of her with Josh. She must have left her camera on the table when he’d asked her to dance and, unbeknown to her, someone had picked it up and snapped a picture.
She was wrapped in his arms as they danced. He was smiling down at her as she gazed up at him. To anyone who didn’t know better, they looked like a couple in love. The camera had captured a moment in time when they had been unaware of anything or anyone else around them. They looked like they were in their own little world and Georgie realised that’s how Josh made her feel. In his company she was content. She didn’t want for anything else when he was with her. Thank goodness she hadn’t gone back to his apartment tonight. Seeing the expression on her face in the photograph, she knew now she was in big trouble. She’d have to watch herself. She was falling under his spell.
‘That’s a lovely photo, I didn’t realise it was quite so serious between you two.’ Her mum employed her favourite tactic, make a comment sound like a question and see what information was forthcoming, but Georgie recognised the technique and kept quiet. She wasn’t going to give her mother anything to speculate about; she’d learned long ago how to play that game. Besides, she didn’t know what she could say.
After what seemed like a short lifetime her mum gave up. ‘I’ll just go and check on your dad. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Georgie put her camera away while her mum was out of the room and took the opportunity to change the subject when she returned. ‘Is he okay?’
‘He’s asleep. He hasn’t been sleeping well recently so that’s good.’
‘Is something the matter?’ Georgie frowned. She hadn’t noticed anything.
‘He’s been very tired lately. He’s blaming the lack of sleep but what I don’t understand is why he isn’t sleeping well. He’s not worried about anything, he’s relaxed, but he says he finds it hard to breathe.’
Now that her mother had mentioned it, Georgie remembered that her parents had been having afternoon rests, her dad especially, which was something he’d never done before, but Georgie had just assumed it was because he was on holiday and could lie down. Now she wondered what she’d been missing. ‘Has he complained of shortness of breath at any other times? With activity? Have you noticed anything?’
Sofia shook her head.
‘Has he been to the doctor?’ Georgie asked.
‘He’s made an appointment for when we get home from this trip.’ Sofia paused. ‘Perhaps it’s been bothering him more than he’s let on,’ she mused, ‘especially if he’s made a doctor’s appointment. You know what he’s like about going to the doctor.’
‘Has he got any other symptoms?’
Sofia frowned. ‘Like what?’
‘Chest pain, dizziness, that sort of thing?’ Georgie was worried. Her paramedic training made her assume the worst, even though she hadn’t actually noticed any worrying signs herself.
‘No. He reckons it’s just old age. He’s been talking about getting old a lot lately. I think that’s why he’s keen to see you settled down.’
And with those words Georgie had to rein in her fantasies once more. On her way home from the wedding she’d imagined what would have happened if she’d gone home with Josh. Now that she knew what it was like to be in his arms, what it was like to feel as though they were the only two people who existed, her imagination had been able to conjure up all sorts of fantasies.
She’d imagined the touch of his fingers on her knee as they sat in the taxi, the warmth of his hand as he led her into his building, the heat that emanated from him as he pulled her against him in the lift, the taste of his lips when he closed his apartment door and kissed her, the breeze over her bare skin as he lifted her dress over her head, and finally the look in his eyes as he took her to his bed.
She could sleep with Josh to satisfy her curiosity and desire but nothing more would come of it. She remembered the photo of them dancing and she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep with him without exposing herself to heartache, she would be leaving herself wide open. She’d never had a one-night stand and she wasn’t going to start now.
Maybe she should put a stop to this fake relationship before she got any more involved. Before it was too late.