chapter FOUR
JOSH was the first person she saw when she walked into the QMERT building the following morning. Through the viewing window in the wall of the comms room she could see him sitting at a desk, concentrating intently, not aware of her entrance at all. His head was tilted at an angle, he was propping his forehead in one hand, his elbow resting on the tabletop, and his biceps were bulging from the sleeve of his grey T-shirt. She could see the top of his head, his sandy blond hair sticking up in all directions; his face was obscured but she’d seen enough to know it was him. Seen enough to make her pulse race.
She wasn’t used to this strange feeling of impatient excitement. She’d spent her life surrounded by men. Growing up, the house had been full of her brothers and their friends and now at work she was often the solitary female so she knew there was nothing special about men in general. She was used to all male company. They were just people. She’d never felt confused by them. Until now.
That was what was unfamiliar to her. Her reaction to him, the strong attraction she felt for someone she’d only known one day. Someone who, for all intents and purposes, was a perfect stranger. But he was someone who could set her skin on fire with one touch. Someone who could send her pulse soaring with one look. While there might be nothing special about most men, she wasn’t sure if that description could be applied to Josh. Something about him was playing havoc with her senses. Something about him was constantly drawing her focus and she’d never felt so connected to someone she barely knew.
As she entered the comms room he dropped his pen onto the paperwork spread in front of him and rocked back on his chair. He ran both hands through his hair, a look of exasperation on his face.
‘Good morning,’ she said.
Georgie was pleased to see his look of frustration was replaced with a smile when he saw her. ‘Hi. You have perfect timing,’ he said as he retrieved his pen and pushed the papers across the desk towards her. ‘Could you read through this and make sure I haven’t missed anything?’
She glanced down at the paperwork. It was Josh’s report regarding the cattle-station accident and Gus’s death. That was what was bothering him. She wasn’t surprised. Completing the form would mean reliving yesterday’s events. It was a tough thing to do. ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked.
‘I’ll feel better once we get the autopsy results.’
‘We did everything we could, Josh.’
‘I know. I’d just like to have it confirmed by the pathologist’s report.’
She sat at the desk and Josh moved his chair closer to hers, looking over her shoulder as she read through his words. He smelt clean and fresh, like peppermint, and she had to concentrate hard to make sense of the report. It was no easy task, reading with an audience, especially one who could distract her just with his scent. Eventually she finished. ‘It looks right to me. Shall I witness it for you?’
‘Thanks.’ Josh passed her his pen and Georgie’s heart skipped a beat as his fingers brushed hers. Once again, just the briefest touch was enough to send a frisson of energy through her.
Get it together, she reprimanded herself. He’s just a colleague. No different from anyone else. And she didn’t want him to be any different. She didn’t want to be attracted to someone. She wanted a break from all that.
But she had to concentrate hard to block him out as they were strapped side by side into the chopper, flying to Ingham for their first job of the day, a little later.
They were on their way to another inter-hospital transfer. The patient, Kevin, had come off second best when his motorbike had slammed into a tree on a wet road. He’d sustained multiple injuries, including spinal fractures and bilateral rib fractures, and his broken ribs had resulted in a flail chest and a haemothorax. He had chest drains in but he was critically injured and needed to be in a specialist unit. Ingham’s small hospital wasn’t equipped to manage his injuries.
* * *
Josh had completed his assessment of Kevin but as they started making preparations for the transfer, Georgie hesitated. Something didn’t feel right and she knew neither of them needed another drama today. Not after yesterday’s tragedy.
‘Wait. I think we should intubate him before we move him to the chopper,’ she said.
‘Because?’ Josh queried.
Because she couldn’t cope with a second fatality on their shift in as many days. Because it was better to be safe than sorry.
‘It’s a two-hundred-kilometre flight back to Cairns,’ she said. ‘We’ll be in the air for over an hour. If something goes wrong en route, we’ll either need to land or try to intubate in mid-air. I don’t know about you but I’d rather do that here.’ In her opinion, intubating Kevin now would decrease the risk involved with the transfer and increase his chances of survival.
‘Sounds reasonable.’ Much to her relief, Josh didn’t debate her suggestion. ‘I’ll give him a light anaesthetic so he doesn’t resist the intubation.’
Once again, Josh made the sometimes difficult task of intubating a patient appear straightforward and Kevin was sedated, intubated and ready to transfer within a few minutes.
But ten minutes into the flight their treatment plan started to unravel. A high-pitched beeping rent the air. Something had set off the peak pressure alarm on the ventilator.
Georgie was closest to the machine. She checked the monitor. It was possible that Kevin wasn’t getting enough oxygen. But the screen showed oxygenation at ninety five per cent, blood pressure 120/60. Both figures were falling but the machine looked to be working okay. It meant something was going wrong at Kevin’s end.
‘The ventilator’s working—check the drain,’ she said to Josh as she reset the alarm.
Josh was sitting opposite her and the chest drain was by his knee. He moved it. Nothing flowed out of it.
‘It’s either blocked or he’s got a repeat haemothorax.’
The drain didn’t appear blocked but a build-up of air or blood in Kevin’s chest cavity could put pressure on the tube and prevent it from draining.
Josh removed a scalpel from the open medical kit beside him. The incision for the chest drain was visible on Kevin’s chest wall above his arm. Josh enlarged the incision and inserted a finger to clear any obstruction in the chest cavity, but still nothing flowed through the drain.
The peak pressure alarm sounded again. The high-pitched noise was loud and intrusive, even against the background noise of the helicopter.
‘Oxygen sats at ninety-four. His lips look blue,’ Georgie reported. Kevin’s condition was deteriorating before their eyes.
‘I’ll top up his anaesthetic,’ Josh said. ‘If he’s starting to wake, he could be resisting the tube and that could set off the alarm.’
Georgie reset the alarm again while Josh topped up the anaesthetic.
‘Pupils equal and reacting.’ Georgie checked Kevin’s eyes. She couldn’t work out what was going on. Kevin was under anaesthetic and he hadn’t lapsed into a coma, but his oxygen sats weren’t improving and his lips were still blue. The drain wasn’t flowing. Nothing was working. What had Josh said? ‘Life is for living. You’ve got to experience it.’ If they could save a life today, she was prepared to broaden her horizons and try a new experience. She was prepared to make a deal. ‘If we get him through this, I’ll go on one of your adrenaline-junkie escapades with you.’ The words were out of her mouth before she could really think about what she was saying.
Josh finished injecting the anaesthetic into Kevin’s IV and looked across at her with a raised eyebrow. For a moment she thought he was going to give her a chance to take back her impetuous offer but no such luck. ‘You’re on,’ he said.
He looked at the monitor and then back down at Kevin. His concentration was unwavering. ‘Right, what’s going on with you, mate? I’m going to have to open him up some more.’ Kevin’s arm was lying alongside his chest. It hadn’t prevented Josh from enlarging the incision slightly but he was going to need better access now if he needed to be more invasive. He moved Kevin’s arm away from his body and with that slight movement blood began to gush through the drain. ‘Would you look at that?’
Georgie could hear the relief in Josh’s voice and saw him visibly relax into his seat as he checked the monitor. She followed his gaze. Kevin’s blood pressure had quickly risen to 135/70 and his oxygenation was rising too. It looked like the crisis was over but she could still feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins. ‘That was close.’
‘We were not going to have a repeat of yesterday.’ Josh replied. ‘Not if I could help it.’
Georgie hoped Josh wasn’t going to beat himself up over Gus’s death yesterday. Thank goodness they’d managed to pull Kevin through. ‘This is a tough gig, Josh. We’re often working in difficult conditions with very little information. Things go wrong but luckily for Kevin things weren’t worse.’
‘Things came pretty close.’
‘Yes,’ Georgie admitted. ‘But he’ll make it, thanks to you.’
Josh still didn’t look convinced.
Georgie frowned. ‘Is something else the matter?’
Josh ran his hands through his hair as he let out a loud sigh. ‘I’m not here for the experience alone,’ he said. ‘I do need exposure to pre-hospital medicine but I also need to show I have the necessary skills for this work. When I leave Cairns I’m hoping to return to Brisbane General as the head of emergency medicine but I was advised to have a stint up here first. I need to show I can work under this kind of pressure. I need to show I can save lives out of a hospital setting. I’ve already lost one patient and I don’t intend to make a habit of it. I need to show I can do this.’
‘Don’t be too hard on yourself,’ Georgie tried to reassure him. ‘You’ve done an amazing job today. Kevin chose to ride a motorbike in wet and slippery conditions and you’ve saved his life. It’s a good day.’
Josh was nodding. ‘You’re right. We won this round, didn’t we?’
‘We sure did,’ she agreed. ‘But being in this job and seeing some of the odd decisions people make is why I don’t like taking chances.’ Now that the drama was over she’d forgotten about the deal she’d made.
‘Oh, no. You’re not getting out of it that easy.’ Josh grinned at her and his grey eyes flashed silver with humour. ‘You have a choice to make. Sky-diving, scuba-diving or white-water rafting.’
Inadvertently she’d distracted Josh from his sombre thoughts but now she wondered why on earth she’d made such an impetuous call. ‘There’s no way I’m voluntarily jumping out of an aeroplane,’ she said.
‘Okay. On the water or under the water? What’s your preference?’
It didn’t look as though he was going to let her off the hook. ‘Can we toss a coin?’
Josh patted the pockets of his jumpsuit. ‘Don’t seem to have one on me.’ He grabbed an unopened syringe from the medical kit and hid it behind his back. ‘Choose a hand,’ he told her. ‘If you get the syringe, you’ll have to learn to scuba-dive.’
She took a deep breath and pointed. ‘Left.’
Josh brought his hands to the front and opened both fists. The syringe was in his left palm. Georgie’s heart plummeted. Seeing that syringe reinforced that she really didn’t want to try diving.
‘Can we try two out of three?’ she pleaded.
Josh grinned at her. ‘I guess that means you’d rather go rafting.’
She nodded. ‘I guess so.’ As much as she would like to get out of the deal, she supposed going white-water rafting was a small price to pay in exchange for Kevin’s life. And if she got to spend the day with Josh, she wasn’t really about to complain.
* * *
A few days passed without Josh mentioning white-water rafting and Georgie allowed herself to hope for a reprieve. Today it looked as though she was still in luck. Josh was doing his first shift at the hospital, which meant he wasn’t at QMERT reminding her about rafting. But it also meant she was working with Sean.
It was her first shift without Josh since he’d come to Cairns and it was strange to be working with Sean again. He was a funny guy with a dry sense of humour and Georgie enjoyed working with him. He and his wife and two young children had emigrated from the UK. He was a good doctor but Georgie missed Josh. She told herself it was because they’d developed a good working rapport but she knew that was only half the truth. She and Sean had a good rapport too, yet she hadn’t missed him when their shifts hadn’t coincided.
She enjoyed Josh’s company and the buzz she got from being near him, and that element of excitement was missing today. Normally she would have thought her job was exciting enough but since Josh had arrived that level had increased. Even sitting in the lunchroom was more interesting when Josh was there.
She was flicking through the local paper when Louise’s voice came through the intercom.
‘Georgie, are you there? I’ve got Josh on the line for you.’
She hurried across the room to pick up the phone. She could feel her heart beating a little bit faster and as she picked up the receiver she felt herself panting. She was out of breath and feeling like she’d sprinted one hundred metres instead of just taking a few steps across the room. She breathed in deeply before she spoke. She didn’t want to sound breathless.
‘Hi, how’s your day going?’ she asked.
‘Hi, yourself. It’s okay, actually,’ he replied. ‘It hasn’t been too busy. I had time to pop in and visit little Carrie to see how she’s going.’
Georgie remembered the baby they’d brought back from Tully hospital on their first job together, and wondered if that was the reason for Josh’s call. ‘How is she?’
‘She’s doing well. She’s had lots of tests done, there’s nothing sinister, her chest is obviously just a weakness, most likely a result of her being a premmie, but her mum is expecting the all-clear from the specialist and she’ll be taking her home soon.’
‘That’s good news. It sounds like you’re finding your feet.’
‘I’m doing okay, but I’m missing you guys. I feel like I’m missing out on the action.’ For a brief moment Georgie thought he was feeling the same as her, off balance, but his voice sounded as though he was smiling and she could imagine his grey eyes sparkling as he spoke to her.
‘You’re not missing anything. It’s quiet today and we’re sitting around, twiddling our thumbs,’ she replied. And thinking about you.
‘I got the keys to my apartment today,’ he told her. ‘I’ve just been around there in my lunch break and although technically it’s furnished there are a few things I’ll need to get. What are you doing after work?’
‘I probably should be going to the gym,’ she replied. She tried to get to the gym three times a week; she needed to keep fit in order to cope with the physical demands of her job but at the end of a busy shift she often didn’t have the energy. Today seemed like it was going to stay quiet so she should make an effort to exercise, but she wondered about the reason for Josh’s call. ‘Why?’
‘What are you doing after the gym?’ he asked. ‘Would you come shopping with me? Point me in the right direction for the things I need. I’ll buy you dinner afterwards.’
‘I’d be happy to help you but I can’t tonight.’ She didn’t have time to fit it all in. She had a previous commitment, one she wished she hadn’t made, but it was too late to back out of it now.
‘I’ll take a rain check, then,’ he said before he ended the call, leaving her wishing she hadn’t agreed to tonight’s blind date with a friend of her brother’s.
* * *
‘How did your date go?’ Lou asked the minute Georgie stuck her head into the comms room at the QMERT base the next morning.
‘Tedious,’ Georgie replied. ‘It was about as much fun as going to get my legs waxed. I’ve decided enough is enough. No more blind dates. No more dating at all. I’m staying single.’
‘If you had a proper boyfriend, people would stop trying to set you up on blind dates,’ said Louise.
‘You stood me up to go out with a complete stranger?’
Georgie whirled around when she heard Josh’s voice behind her. He stepped into the comms room and closed the door. He leant against Lou’s desk and folded his arms across his broad chest. He was clearly waiting for her excuse.
‘Sorry, it was a prior commitment, but if it makes you feel better it was a complete disaster,’ she told him.
‘You didn’t tell me you had another option,’ Lou reprimanded.
Georgie shrugged. ‘Josh wanted me to help him shop for his apartment but I’d already said yes to Costa. I couldn’t cancel, my brother would have insisted I reschedule.’
‘What has your brother got to do with it?’
‘Costa has just been relocated to Cairns. He used to work with my brother Alek, and Alek thought I might like him.’
‘Why are your brothers setting up dates for you? What’s wrong with you?’ Josh’s grey eyes sparkled with silver lights as he grinned and baited her.
‘Hey, watch it! There’s nothing wrong with me!’
‘There must be plenty of single men around if you want a boyfriend. What about Marty or Pat?’ he continued.
‘Don’t you start!’ she protested. ‘Pat’s forty! And Marty goes through women like a man possessed. Anyway, I’d have to be completely desperate before I dated a colleague. I’ve spent far too much time listening to them talk about women to ever want to put myself in the situation where I could be the one they discuss on a Monday morning.’ She’d dated a colleague before and she’d hated it when everyone had known their business, sometimes before she’d known it herself. ‘Besides, who said I even wanted a boyfriend? I’m perfectly happy on my own.’
‘I just thought—’
She jumped in and cut him off. ‘You thought you were helping but I don’t need your help and I don’t need a boyfriend. What I need is a project. Something to keep me so busy that I can tell my family I don’t have time for dating. Actually…’ She paused momentarily as a thought occurred to her. ‘If you do want to help, you could be my project.’
‘What?’
She nodded. ‘I can tell my family I need to spend all my free time getting the new doctor up to speed. That might keep them off my back and it’ll teach you not to meddle too.’ She grinned and both she and Louise laughed at the shocked expression on Josh’s face.
He held his hands up in surrender. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you a hard time. I promise to mind my own business from now on.’
‘It’s all right, I was just having a bit of fun.’
‘Well, in that case, I’m sorry your date was terrible.’
‘You don’t look sorry,’ Georgie argued.
‘No?’ He shrugged. ‘I guess I’m not, seeing as it wasn’t my fault. All I can say is you should have come shopping with me instead.’ He laughed and Georgie was tempted to agree with him.
‘I’ll remember that next time,’ she said.
‘Here, I have something that might cheer you up,’ he said. In his hand he held a stack of brochures and he passed them to her.
Every pamphlet had a picture of happy, smiling people wearing lifejackets. Happy, smiling people going white-water rafting. ‘Where did these come from?’ she asked.
‘The tourist information counter in the main terminal building. Were you hoping I’d forget?’
‘Yes,’ she said. But she wasn’t sure if that was true. She’d been planning on trying to avoid it but she had agreed to go. That was the deal.
She opened the top brochure. ‘Which one looks good?’
‘They’re all pretty similar.’ Josh took the rest of the pile from her and shuffled through it. He passed one brochure back to her. ‘The girl at the tourist counter recommended this one. They’ve been around for a long time and have a good safety record. And it’s on the Tully River, which has proper rapids.’
Georgie flicked through the brochure. ‘What does that mean exactly?’
‘It means you’ll feel like you’ve done something challenging.’
Georgie pointed to the half-day option, ‘So this one you think, “The River Challenge”?’
‘No, that’s for kids,’ he said with a smile, almost daring her to argue. ‘This is the one I think we should do.’ He pointed to the full-day option.
‘But that says “thrilling”, not challenging.’
‘I know. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?’ He was still grinning at her, his grey eyes flashing with amusement.
She raised one eyebrow in response as she read from the brochure. ‘“Level Three and Four rapids.” That sounds okay if they’re classed out of ten, not so fun if they’re classed out of five. How are rapids rated?’
‘Out of six.’
‘Six!’
‘It’s okay. Only grade-six rapids have the warning “Danger to life or limb” so by the process of elimination that should mean that grades three and four are pretty safe.’
‘Hmm.’
Josh wrapped his arm around her shoulders. ‘I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.’
Georgie jumped when he touched her. She reacted as though she’d touched something hot when she hadn’t expected to and that was how she felt, as though she’d been zapped by electricity. Why did he affect her like this? She needed to get away. She needed some distance, some perspective.
She stepped out of his embrace. ‘We’d better go and get changed so we’re ready if we get called out,’ she said as she hurried to the change rooms.
But this wasn’t one of her best ideas. In fact, it was downright idiotic. Because, of course, Josh followed her and the first things he did was open his locker and strip off his shirt. There was nowhere to hide in the unisex change rooms. Nowhere she could go to avoid Josh. And if she found it difficult to ignore her attraction to him when he was fully clothed, it was almost impossible to ignore it when he was standing beside her half-naked.
She put her bag in her locker, hiding behind the door to avoid ogling Josh’s washboard abs. Not that it made any difference. She was perfectly capable of remembering what his body looked like: the image of him in his board shorts out on the reef was permanently imprinted on her brain.
‘So are you doing anything on Saturday?’ he asked. ‘I know we’re both rostered off.’
She pretended to be searching in her locker, looking for something. She found her hairbrush. That would do. ‘Saturday? I don’t have any plans.’ She pulled her hairbrush out and turned away from Josh to look in the mirror and brush her ponytail but realised she could still see him in the reflection. He was pulling another T-shirt over his head.
‘Excellent. Shall I ring the rafting company and book us on a trip this weekend?’ he said as he tugged his shirt down to his waist.
Josh took his overalls from his locker and Georgie realised he was about to drop his shorts. Her breathing was suddenly shallow and she needed to look away. ‘Okay. I guess I don’t have an excuse not to do it. A deal is a deal.’ At the moment she’d say anything just to get him out of the locker room so she could get her hormones under control. Her heart was beating like crazy and her mouth was dry. Her senses were fully charged. Why didn’t she feel like that when she went on these blind dates?
She put her hairbrush away and plaited her ponytail, keeping her face hidden, using delay tactics until she was certain Josh had finished getting changed. Suddenly she wasn’t sure how sensible this plan was, she’d be spending the day with Josh on the river and he’d be wearing next to nothing if the pictures on the brochure were anything to go by. She wasn’t sure how she’d cope with that but it was too late to back out now.
‘Come on, it’ll be fun,’ he said as he closed his locker. ‘I’m sure I can be better company than your date last night.’
Once she heard his locker-door slam shut she dared to look again. He was dressed now and her breathing was under control again. She didn’t doubt she’d enjoy Josh’s company more than her blind date but she wasn’t about to tell him that. It was bad enough that he seemed to know the direction of her thoughts. ‘And if you’re not?’ She laughed.
‘Then you get to choose the next adventure,’ he said as he bent down to tie his bootlaces.
Once Josh left the change room Georgie collapsed onto the bench that ran in front of the lockers. She needed a moment to get her head together. She had to work out a way to cope with the feelings Josh evoked in her. She had to work out a way to get her responses under control when he was around.