“That’s pretty,” she said softly, I looked to her to see her eyes still on my hands.
“Thanks,” I replied. “It’ll be prettier when it’s fired and glazed.”
“Cool,” she whispered.
“Wanna learn how to do it?”
“No.”
This came so swiftly, I glanced at her again to see she’d leaned back a bit and had a funny look on her face.
“No?” I asked quietly.
Her eyes went to my face then back to my hands and she murmured, “I’m not good at that kind of stuff. You showed No, half an hour, he’d make something awesome. I’m not like that.”
This was telling.
No was a good basketball player, the best in school. And everyone talked about his band, said the other boys in it were okay but No was awesome. I got this information from Kirby who pretty much thought No’s shit didn’t stink. He had no reason to talk No up, he was just sharing. I was getting the impression that Fin was Brownsburg High School’s resident hot guy and Jonas Haines was its cool guy. The girls swooned when Fin was around, secretly hoping he’d turn his broody intensity their way and they could soothe his savaged soul. The girls swooned when No was around, secretly hoping he’d flash them his easy, lazy smile and they could bask in his glory.
But Kirby didn’t feel overshadowed by his brother. Darrin, even Rhonda and, lastly, Fin saw to that. He had his place in the family, his strengths were recognized and praised. Fin and Kirb didn’t get along every second of every day but they were tight. Kirby looked up to his brother and Fin guided him with a gentle hand making that big brother worship worth it.
I saw with Clarisse’s reaction there was another dynamic at play in the Haines household. Rees felt overshadowed by the number of her brother’s clear talents. She bickered with her brother but good-naturedly so I didn’t feel it was the dysfunction I had with Debbie. It wasn’t No rubbing in his abilities and popularity.
It was something else.
And I figured I knew what it was.
Things were coming clearer with Rees. She had a Dad who adored her, a brother she was close to but no mother who recognized and praised her. Daddy’s little girl and big brother’s little sister, those were a given if you had them all your life. But Mom could guide you on the journey to understanding who you were and help you cement your value as a woman.
Audrey Haines was not doing that and Clarisse was lost.
Treading cautiously, I said, “That’s okay, honey. Not your gig, not your gig.”
We lapsed into silence.
Then, “No said you’d teach us how to ride horses.”
“Sure,” I glanced at her, “you want that?”
She nodded.
I looked down at the clay. “Wanna start Saturday?”
“That’d be cool.”
I shot her a grin, “Then we’re starting Saturday.”
She grinned back.
I looked back at my wheel. “Doing me a favor. My baby girls like company. They’ll love you.”
“Awesome,” she whispered.
More silence.
Then, “Um…Dusty?”
“Yeah?”
“I, uh, have some jeans to take back. And my grandparents sent some money. I really like that bracelet you bought me and I don’t wanna know what it costs or anything but I’d like to know where you got it. Would you, um…maybe like to, uh…go shoppin’ with me?”
That time, I shot her a smile. “Fan…freaking…tastic. I’d love that. My girl Jerra is down in Texas and I don’t have anyone to shop with me here. We’ll kick some mall butt then we’ll do something girlie like drink seven thousand calorie coffee drinks and people watch. After your horseback riding lesson Saturday. Is that a plan?”
She smiled and it was genuine, no hesitancy, her beautiful brown eyes alight. “Definitely.”
I looked back down at my wheel, muttering, “Something to look forward to.”
“Cool,” she whispered then more silence then, “Uh…I, well, you know, you’re teachin’ me to ride your horses and takin’ me shoppin’ and all and maybe…” she trailed off and I positioned my hands so even though the clay kept moving the shape would not change and my eyes hit her.
Softly, I said, “Clarisse, honey, you’ll learn as you get to know me but there is nothing you can’t talk to me about, nothing you can’t ask. I can’t say yes to everything and you gotta know, no matter what we talk about, I’ll be honest, straight up. And some of my honesty you may not wanna hear. But I’ll be nice about it. Always. So if you have something to say or ask, say it. I have all the time in the world for you, honey, I promise. So take it. It’s yours.”
She stared at me, lips parted then blurted, “I want you to teach me how to do my makeup like you did it for my birthday party. No one ever…” She paused then finished on a rush, “I taught myself and I’m not very good at it. But you are. So I thought, if you don’t mind, you could teach me.”