“No, baby, you can’t. I know you like I know myself. And I’m telling you, you need a break. We need a break.”
“We’re supposed to try the fertility treatments for a year. We can’t stop now.” Her chin began to wobble.
“Yes, we can.” He brushed his lips across hers. “We’ll talk to the doctor when we’re back in Philadelphia. Then we’re going to take a long vacation. Gabriel promised he’d lend us their house in Italy. We can take some time and just be a normal couple again.”
“What if this is it? What if we can’t . . .” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Then we’ll start looking at other options.” He placed his arm around her. “Whether or not we have a baby, we have each other. That’s something, isn’t it?”
She nodded.
“We need to take care of each other. And I’m not taking care of you if I let you continue like this.”
“I feel like a failure.” Rachel wiped her face with the back of her hand.
“You aren’t,” he whispered. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. I would love to have a family with you but not if that journey is going to break you. I’m sorry, but I don’t want kids that much.”
Rachel looked at him, surprised. “I thought this was important to you.”
“You come first. You’ve always come first.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I want the woman I married. Once we get back to that, then we can start talking about kids again. Okay?”
Rachel was silent as she contemplated what he was proposing. She closed her eyes, and it felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Suddenly, she felt as if she could breathe again.
“Okay.”
Aaron pulled his wife into his arms. “I love you.”
Down the hall, Julia leaned her hip against the bathroom vanity, watching Gabriel brush his teeth.
“Your father is proud of us for having a baby.”
Gabriel nodded, as he continued brushing.
“That means he’s proud of us for having sex and you for impregnating me. Do you think they make Tshirts for grandfathers that express those sentiments?”
Gabriel made a strangled choking noise before he began spitting into the sink.
“Are you all right?” She tapped on his back. “Can you speak?”
He responded with more spitting and then raucous laughter.
“Tshirts,” he managed, placing his hand on the counter to support himself. “How do you come up with this stuff?”
“It wasn’t me who said it. I don’t think anyone has ever told me that he’s proud of me for having sex. My dad was happy for us, but he didn’t say he was proud.”
Gabriel deposited his toothbrush in the holder before straightening.
“I did.”
They exchanged a look.
“Yes, you did.” Julia smiled to herself. “Uncle Jack seemed happy, when I told him. But he was acting weird on the telephone.”
“What did he say?”
“He congratulated me, but he also gave me a lecture.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows lifted. “About what?”
“About my need to protect myself and the baby. I assured him I was doing so and then he asked me what you were doing to protect us.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said you were very attentive and that you were coming with me to all my appointments. He muttered something about that not being enough.”
Gabriel frowned. “Did you respond?”
“I asked him what he was worried about, but he kind of clammed up on me. Do you think something is up with Simon and Natalie?”
“I doubt it. If something were in the works, he’d tell us about it.”
“Maybe.” Julia shook her head. “He promised me he’d keep an eye on us, and I told him I’d welcome whatever help he could give us. It was a very strange conversation.”
“Your uncle Jack is a strange person. Maybe he’s decided to beat up Greg Matthews in order to ensure that you get a maternity leave.”
“Professor Matthews already authorized it. I don’t need Uncle Jack’s help with that.” She smiled and exited the bathroom.
She stood by the window, looking out into the starless night.
Gabriel could see the outline of her body through her old-fashioned linen nightshirt: her long slim legs, her rounded hips and bottom. He switched off the lights and stood behind her, his talented fingers lifting and toying with her hair.
“Your conversation with my sister was difficult, but she took the news well, I thought.” He linked their hands together, bringing their connection to rest over where their child was growing.
“She and Aaron have been trying for so long and we weren’t and boom! We’re pregnant.”
Gabriel chuckled and rested his chin on her shoulder. “It wasn’t quite like that. There was divine intervention.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“You don’t?” His body tightened.
“I do, I just feel guilty. It seems unfair,” she whispered.
“Perhaps we need to do a better job of supporting them. I’m sure this is hard on both of them.” He kissed the nape of her neck, pressing his chest to her back. “Did you ever tell her how we met?”