Gabriel's Redemption

“I felt it before we were married, but it’s different now. The ache is more intense.”

 

 

“For a long time, I didn’t see how marriage could be something over and above love. But it is. I just can’t explain it.”

 

“Neither can I. Perhaps that’s why she called it a mystery.”

 

He looked down the length of their bodies.

 

“I suppose I should let you go.”

 

“I like this. It’s postcoital-cuddling-while-you’re-still-inside-me.”

 

“That’s the technical description, yes. If we wait long enough, we’ll be able to start up again.”

 

Julia flexed her muscles around him, and he twitched in response.

 

“As I recall, Professor, your recovery time is minimal.”

 

“Thank God for that,” he murmured, beginning to move inside her once again.

 

 

 

It must be said that in general, the Emersons slept better when they were together than they ever did apart. That evening was no exception.

 

(When they finally stopped making love long enough to sleep, that is.) The following morning, Gabriel awoke, noticing that Julianne was still slumbering, her face pressed against one of his pectorals. He studied her profile without moving, resisting the urge to lift her chin so he could kiss her.

 

Instead, he memorized the skin of her back and shoulders with his fingers.

 

A great burden had been lifted from him. He hadn’t received exactly the answers he’d wished, but he’d received something better—the gift of his sister and his grandfather. Professor Spiegel was erudite and noble, well known for his intellectual insight and charity. He was a man Gabriel desired to know better. He was an ancestor whose blood he would be glad to pass on to his children.

 

The thought comforted him.

 

Kelly had introduced a seed of suspicion that their father was not the monster he’d thought. Gabriel’s memories and dreams were mixed to such a degree that it was possible he’d confused one with the other. Still, the facts he knew for certain about his father were damning enough.

 

What kind of man abandons the mother of his child and disowns his son?

 

His throat tightened as he thought of himself.

 

“Did you see your grandmother?” Julianne blinked up at him sleepily.

 

“Only from a distance. She was walking from her house to a car, with someone who is probably an uncle. At least, I think she was my grandmother. She lives in the same house.”

 

“You didn’t speak to them?”

 

“No.” He moved his hand to the small of her back, spanning the twin dimples that were above the curve of her backside. It was one of his favorite parts of her body.

 

(Privately, he contemplated planting a flag there in an act of corporeal colonialism.) “Why not?” Julia was puzzled.

 

“They aren’t my family. Standing there, I realized I might as well be an alien to them. There was no connection. Nothing.” He sighed. “At least when I met my sister I recognized her eyes.”

 

Julia gave him a questioning look.

 

“She and I have our father’s eyes.”

 

“Don’t you need to speak to your grandmother to find out about your mother’s medical history?”

 

“Carson was able to get the autopsy report for my mother. He was also able to get information about her medical history, through dubious means.”

 

“And?”

 

“Heart disease and high blood pressure run in her family, but there wasn’t anything especially worrisome.”

 

Julia visibly relaxed under his fingers.

 

“That’s good news, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes.” Gabriel sounded strangely underwhelmed.

 

“What about your father’s side?”

 

“Kelly told me there was some heart disease on their side.”

 

“So you don’t want to meet your grandmother or your other relatives?”

 

“I have my mother’s diary and a few anecdotes from Kelly. That’s enough.”

 

“Kelly knew your mother?” Julia sat up next to him.

 

“She remembers meeting her when she worked for our father. And she recalls her parents fighting, presumably over my mother and me. I’d like to introduce you to Kelly. She and her husband have invited me to dinner tonight and then Friday night we’re supposed to go and visit our Aunt Sarah in Queens.”

 

“I’d love to meet your sister. But you might have to take me shopping for something to wear to dinner. Rebecca packed for me, so I have a carry-on full of lingerie and only one dress.”

 

Gabriel’s eyes grew heated. “Clearly, she doesn’t know you very well.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

He leaned forward, brushing her ear with his lips. “Because you sleep naked.”

 

Julia thrilled to his nearness. She began playing with the few strands of his chest hair.

 

“Did you finish your mother’s diary?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And?”

 

“It’s about what you’d expect. As time wore on and she realized she would never have a life with my father, she grew more and more despondent, until finally, she stopped writing altogether.”

 

Julia rested her hand over his tattoo, gently pressing into the skin.

 

“Are you glad you came to New York?”