He quickly dimmed the light on his phone so that they were only partially illuminated, for he was worried that Ann might see the light under the door.
“This is what I was afraid might happen. Why didn’t you do as I asked?”
“I told you, I didn’t get your text until it was too late. I didn’t expect to be hit on at a faculty dinner, by a professor who wasn’t you.”
Gabriel growled. “She was watching you across the table and was probably excited by your shyness, not to mention your beauty. Having you in the same room as her is the equivalent of dangling a lamb in front of a wolf.” He shook his head and cursed. “I tried to keep you away from her.”
Julia searched his eyes. “You weren’t keeping me away because you’re jealous?”
Gabriel let out a sharp exhalation. “Of course I’m jealous. Jealousy is a new emotion for me, Julianne. I’m not practiced in the art of dealing with it. But I would have begged Paul to take you to dinner somewhere, anywhere, just to keep you away from her.”
“Were you involved with Professor Singer?”
His expression darkened, and he pressed his lips into a thin line. “This is not the place to discuss that.”
Julia shook her head as her nausea returned. She’d hoped that Paul was mistaken. But Gabriel’s reaction told her otherwise.
“How could you?”
“You’re shaking. Are you going to be sick?”
“Why won’t you answer my question?”
Gabriel spoke through his teeth. “Julianne, your comfort and well-being is my only concern at this moment. I won’t answer any questions until I am satisfied that you are all right. Although if you throw up, I promise to hold your hair.” He smirked slightly.
“I’m not going to throw up,” she murmured. “Unfortunately, she’s not the first woman to come on to me. I’m more upset about the fact that you’re hiding something.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows furrowed at her admission, but he quickly pushed his concern aside. “Julianne, trust me when I tell you that you do not want to know more about her. Your mind should remain unpolluted.”
“But it’s okay for her to molest you under the table? That’s how she noticed me, Gabriel. She caught me staring.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw, and Julia saw sparks in his eyes.
“She’s goading me. And for obvious reasons, I can’t react and cause a scene. I was hoping she’d ignore you and focus all of her twisted attention on me. Clearly, I was wrong.”
“Why did I have to find out from Paul that you were involved with her?”
“Paul said that?”
She nodded.
Gabriel swore an oath and began rubbing his eyes forcefully, as if he were blotting out a repulsive image. “I didn’t expect her to attend my lecture. We don’t share the same values or research interests. Today is the first time I’ve seen her in months. She’s part of my past—a past I will not repeat. Not if I live forever.”
“Paul said she likes pain. Were you—violent together?”
He clenched his fists at his sides, the tendons in his arms humming in contraction.
“Yes. I’d like to tell you that she was the wicked temptress and I was lured into an entanglement with her, but that isn’t what happened. Nevertheless, I am not going to explain the dark contours of her world to you. Not even a single thought of yours belongs there. But I’ll tell you that during one of my—encounters with her, she did something that caused me to lose my temper. And I gave her a taste of her own medicine. That act alone terminated our interactions, and I was immediately flung out of her house.”
“She hit you?”
“More than once,” rasped Gabriel grimly. “That was the point.”
“Gabriel.” His name came out as something akin to a sob, and his heart was instantly pierced. “How could you? How could you let her touch you, let alone hurt you?”
He encircled her with his arms and squeezed her tightly. “Julianne, you do not want to hear this. Please forget what Paul said. Forget all about her.”
“I can’t. I can’t forget what you said in your lecture this afternoon. Your description of the act of making love was really beautiful, but that’s not what you want. Or maybe you think it’s impossible for lovers to be like that.”
Gabriel’s eyes bored into hers. “Of course it’s what I want. Of course I think it’s possible. I’ve just never experienced it.” He cleared his throat. “You aren’t the only virgin in this relationship.”
She looked at him in surprise. “Then why would you want someone to hurt you? Haven’t you been hurt enough?”
His face wore a pained expression.
“Gabriel, your life is like a series of locked, secret rooms. I have no idea what lurks behind those doors. And you won’t tell me. I have to find out about your ex-girlfriend from your research assistant!”
“She was never my girlfriend. And I asked you about Simon, and you wouldn’t tell me anything. So far we are even.”
Julia winced.