From This Day Forward

chapter Seven



Caroline grabbed her medical bag and followed Ines into the darkness, forgetting her feet were bare until they touched the cool, damp bricks of the courtyard. She glanced around anxiously, glad for the full moon that made it possible to keep Ines in her sights.

They crossed the patio, Ines's manner furtive as she stared at the windows and doors of the silent house. At the edge of the jungle, she halted, turning to look at Caroline warily.

"Senhora, I must ask a promise from you," she whispered.

"What?" Caroline asked, ready to agree to anything in order to get on with whatever they were about. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something terrible had happened to Jason, and she wanted to get to him as quickly as possible. "We're wasting time, Ines. I'll do anything. Just go. Show me the way."

Ines stood her ground, ignoring the urgency in Caroline's tone. "Senhora, you must promise not to speak of anything you are about to see."

"I promise!" Caroline replied impatiently. "Can we go on?"

"Not even to Master Jason."

Relief flowed through Caroline like the swiftly moving river. Whatever tragedy waited for her in the darkness beyond the house, it wasn't Jason. It had nothing to do with Jason, except that Ines was asking her not to mention it to him. "But why?"

"Please, Senhora, no one is to know of these things. Master Jason would be very angry...."

"What you're saying is that whatever it is, Jason doesn't want me to know about it." Ines's silence confirmed Caroline's accusation. "What if I refuse?"

Ines hung her head in defeat. "Then I would take you there anyway. Someone will die if I don't."

Curiosity and indignation warred inside Caroline—curiosity to see what was so secret, and indignation that Jason had thought to keep something so obviously important from her.

Ines peered up at her, though she didn't lift her head. She couldn't let Ines down; whatever this was, Ines considered it extremely important. Besides, she would be leaving soon. What difference could it possibly make to her? "All right, Ines, I promise."

Ines's expression brightened instantly. "Obrigado, Senhora. Now, follow closely, and be very quiet."

Ines turned and led the way along a path lined with wild pineapple bushes and tree ferns. The earth was damp and soft beneath Caroline's bare feet. Mud oozed between her toes, and sharp objects scratched the tender flesh. She wished fervently that she had taken the time to get her shoes. It was a selfish thought. Had she known the crisis didn't involve Jason, she would have taken the time to dress properly.

They hadn't walked far when Ines turned sharply to the left. There in front of them was a small rundown shack that Caroline had never noticed before.

"Amazing!" she said in wide-eyed astonishment. "How could I have never seen it?"

Bits of memory came back to her. Both Jason and Ines had cautioned her not to explore the fazenda alone, and now that she thought of it, Jason had always steered her away from this area. Something terribly important must have happened for Ines to break Jason's confidence like this.

The door groaned as Ines pushed it open, and a dim light spilled out of the shack. With one last furtive glance around, Ines entered the structure and Caroline followed.

An indistinct shadow moved against the far wall, wavering and stretching as someone stood—a woman, a gaunt-looking woman with skin as black as any African Caroline had ever seen on the street in New Orleans.

Ines and the woman exchanged words in Portuguese, while Caroline took the opportunity to inspect the space more closely. It looked like a storehouse, with lanterns and blankets and mismatched china stacked against one wall. Along another were barrels, the contents of which were indiscernible. In a corner of the room, the corner the woman had vacated stood a small makeshift cot. Straw stuffing spilled out onto the floor; a dingy white blanket covered the whole thing.

On the crude cot a fragile form lay still and silent.

Instinctively, Caroline started forward, her throat tightening at what met her gaze. The form on the bed, so still, so small, was a child.

A shriek from behind her stilled Caroline before the gnarled hand reached out and grabbed her by the arm. She turned to look into the terrified eyes of the black woman. Ines continued to talk reassuringly to her, but the woman showed no sign that the words penetrated her distrust.

Caroline had no words to give her. She didn't understand her language, and even if she did, all she could say was that she would do her best to help her child. Tentatively, she reached up and covered the woman's trembling hand with hers in a gesture of concern and confidence.

Tears started in the woman's eyes. Her grip on Caroline's arm loosened and Caroline turned back to the child. Kneeling beside the cot, she turned the small body over, unfurling it gently from its fetal position.

Despite her efforts, a gasp escaped her control at the sight of angry red spots that covered the child's exposed arms. A hand to his forehead told her he was burning up with fever. Quickly she sat on the cot and opened the medical bag, withdrawing her father's horn-shaped stethoscope. Ignoring the jerky movement behind her, she pressed one end of the instrument to the boy's chest and the other to her ear.

"Tell her I won't hurt him," Caroline said to Ines. "Tell her I'm listening to see how sick he is."

Ines spoke to the woman soothingly as Caroline continued her examination. The sound of fluid in the child's lungs confirmed her worst fears.

Caroline turned to face Ines. "Where did this child come from?"

Ines darted an anxious look at the African woman. Neither of them spoke.

"Is she the mother?" Caroline asked, moving toward the black woman who retreated in terror. "I have to examine her. Tell her."

Whatever Ines said to the woman seemed to calm her. She stood still while Caroline drew apart the folds of her garment to inspect her neck and upper chest. Red pustules dotted her ebony skin as Caroline had known they would. Reaching into the medical bag, she said to Ines, "I need to see inside her mouth."

"Inside her mouth, Senhora?"

A flat metal tongue depressor in her hand, she turned back to the frightened woman. "Open your mouth wide," she said, opening her own as an example.

Ines translated, but the woman showed no sign of obeying.

"Ines, let me do it to you," Caroline said.

Ines backed away as Caroline moved toward her. "I am not sick, Senhora."

"I know, but if she sees that I don't hurt you, she might let me do it to her. Be still, Ines. Have I ever hurt you?"

Ines stood before Caroline, her eyes wide, her mouth closed tightly.

"I'm going to put this stick on your tongue to hold it down so I can look into your throat. It won't hurt, I promise."

Reluctantly, Ines opened her mouth. She flinched when Caroline touched her tongue with the depressor but didn't move. Caroline withdrew the metal stick and wiped it on a clean linen cloth she kept in her bag.

"What did you see, Senhora?" Ines asked anxiously.

Caroline smiled at her. "A very healthy set of tonsils. Now, help me convince our friend to let me do the same to her."

With Ines's help, Caroline managed to examine the woman's mouth and found the telltale white spots on the inside of her cheeks.

"Who are these people? Where did they come from?" An ugly suspicion nagged at the corner of Caroline's mind. "Jason doesn't own slaves... does he? Is that what he doesn't want me to know?"

"No, Senhora"

"Then tell me. Who are you protecting if not Jason?"

"I swore I wouldn't tell," Ines said, looking past Caroline at the child on the cot in the corner. "Can you help him?"

"I don't know, Ines. This child has measles. The disease has developed into pneumonia. Do you know what measles can do to people who have no natural immunity? I need to see everyone who has come into contact with this child."

"Please, Senhora...." Ines's words fell away in the face of Caroline's determination.

Caroline gazed at the woman, who had retreated into the shadows. Her patience was quickly running out. Somehow she had to make Ines understand the gravity of the situation. "Tell her that children will die unless they are treated properly. Some adults may die as well."

"There are no more," Ines lied; Caroline could tell by the way she refused to meet her gaze.

"They're the only ones, just this woman and this child? They live alone? Here? In the jungle? I don't believe you, Ines. Tell her what I said."

"It doesn't matter, Senhora. Yes, there are others, but this boy, he is the sickest. Heal him and they will bother you no more."

"This child may be the sickest right now, but by tomorrow, this woman's body will be completely covered with the same red rash. If they don't get the proper treatment, others will develop pneumonia. Pneumonia almost always brings death."

"Senhora, I should not have brought you here. I can take you no longer."

Caroline sighed in exasperation. "I've had measles, so I'm immune. But you haven't, have you? I wonder how many people on the fazenda have had them."

"You cannot tell Master Jason. You gave your word."

"I know I gave my word, but this—this is something I didn't expect. If you'll tell me where these people came from and let me examine the others who have been exposed, I won't tell Jason. Adults rarely die of the disease, and there are few children on the fazenda. Besides, I'll be there to diagnose any outbreaks early; that's the key to treating measles. What do you say, Ines?"

Ines hesitated. Caroline could sense the battle raging inside the other woman, but even before she spoke, Caroline knew what decision Ines had reached. "It is for your own good, Senhora. It is better for you that you don't know. I cannot."

Caroline sighed in defeat. "Damn it, Ines."

"Will you help the boy?"

"I'll try, but he is very sick." Caroline retrieved a blanket from a stack in the corner and used it to cover the boy to the chin. Compassion swelled inside her because she knew what hell he had to face before morning. "Tell her to keep him covered no matter what."

Ines repeated Caroline's words in Portuguese, and Caroline watched the boy's mother to make sure she understood.

"When the fever breaks, he will sweat and his body will grow cool." Again Caroline waited while Ines translated, her own body shivering with the memory of her childhood bout with pneumonia, an experience that had nearly taken her life. "Does she understand?"

"Sim, Senhora."

"If the fever doesn't break by sunrise, she must come and get me. Tell her that, Ines, exactly as I said it. She must come and get me."

Ines hesitated, then translated.

"If the fever does break, he'll probably have chills, then fever again. The fever shouldn't last longer than half a day. If it does, she should come and get me."

Again Ines translated, then turned to Caroline, the hope and faith in her eyes causing a catch in Caroline's throat. Closing her eyes, Caroline made a silent appeal to God for the child's recovery. There was nothing more she could do.

"You will make well, sim, Senhora" Ines asked anxiously.

"I'm not sure I can," Caroline admitted, coming to her feet. "It's in God's hands now."

"Will you tell Master Jason?"

"I don't know. I should," Caroline said, remembering the night of the mud slide and Jason's concern for his workers. She felt as if she were betraying him by keeping Ines's secret. What would he say if he learned that she was endangering his men and their families? Still, Ines had trusted her too. There had to be a way to keep from betraying either of them, but she was too tired to think tonight. "Let me sleep on it. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"If Jason already knows about whatever it was that I saw last night," and Caroline wasn't at all sure what that was, "why must we keep it secret from him? Ouch! Be careful!"

"Why did you not put on the shoes?" Ines asked, gazing up at Caroline from where she knelt on the floor. Her skillful hands massaged the aches and pains from Caroline's swollen feet.

"Because, you said it was a matter of life and death." Caroline sat on a stool in her sitting room, her nightgown hiked up to her knees, her bare feet soaking in a large pan of hot, soapy water.

Ines took one of Caroline's sore feet from the water and patted it dry, then gently applied an evil- smelling ointment.

"Are you sure that stuff works?" Caroline asked dubiously.

"Sim," Ines replied.

"What did you say those nasty little creatures were?"

"Chigoes—fleas," Ines told her. "They burrow in the flesh. This will kill them."

Caroline shuddered, silently calling herself every kind of fool for her recklessness. If only she'd taken the time to put on her shoes last night.

"The bandages, Senhora?"

"They're in my medical bag," she said, motioning with a nod of her head toward the corner where the bag stood on a small table.

Ines went to fetch the bandages, and Caroline took the opportunity to survey the damage to her feet. She couldn't see anything buried in her flesh, but the pain whenever she tried to walk and the terrible swelling were enough to confirm Ines's diagnosis.

"You are liking Master Jason more than you want to tell yourself," Ines remarked from across the room. "Last night, you think maybe Master Jason needs help, yes? So you don't stop to put on the shoes. Are you wearing the talisman?"

"Of course not!" Coloring guiltily, Caroline recalled waking last night with the object clutched in her hand, the twine wrapped tightly around her forearm. "That's voodoo nonsense. And besides, even if I believed in it, which I don't, I wouldn't want a man I had to trick into loving me. And stop trying to change the subject."

Ines knelt before Caroline again, smiling slyly up at her, then glanced away sheepishly. "Woman always has to trick the man, Senhora. Surely you are this wise, yes?"

"Ines, how do you know so much about men?"

"Mae, she tells me some." Ines grew serious, her brow furrowing with a frown of concentration. "Senhora, the boy, can you save him?"

Looking into Ines's hopeful face, Caroline thought she understood some of the anguish her father had suffered. He'd wanted to heal them all, but even medical science couldn't cure some things. Epidemics were the worst because there were so many, so many children.

"I'll try," Caroline told her as she had last night.

For several moments, Ines looked at her wordlessly, her expression unreadable, before nodding and rising. "I must go. Master Jason will want the lunch. I will bring a tray for you as well."

"Thank you. I've made a mess of things. How am I going to help that poor child if I can't walk?"

"Rest today. Maybe tomorrow you will walk."

"At least the mother didn't come for me. You did tell her what I said."

"Of course, yes. Rest, Senhora," Ines said, exiting the room quickly, and Caroline couldn't help wondering if she did so intentionally to avoid further questions.

"Where is Caroline?" Jason asked crossly as Ines entered with his lunch.

"She is unwell, patrao," Ines replied, setting a plate of hot food on the table before him.

"What's wrong with her?"

Ines dipped her head, refusing to meet his gaze, and Jason decided it might be wise not to probe further. It was probably her monthly, something he really didn't want to discuss with Ines.

"It is not serious," Ines assured him a bit sheepishly. "She will be better tomorrow."

"I'll take your word for it," Jason said gruffly, concentrating on his meal. Scooping up a forkful of rice, he raised it to his mouth when a shrill whistle rent the morning calm. "What the hell!"

Ines went to the door, peering out. Her shoulders slumped, and Jason knew what she'd seen before she turned to stare at him with angry, accusing eyes. "It is the mail boat."

"It's early," he said. His heart settled into his stomach, and he tried desperately to deny the regret inside him. It was early, damn it! It wasn't supposed to be here for two more weeks. "Do you think she'll feel up to traveling?"

Ines shook her head. "I am not knowing, patrao." She stood staring at him, her eyes reproachful. Determined to ignore her, he returned to his food, lifting the fork once again, only to drop it onto the plate with a loud clatter. He'd suddenly lost his appetite. How could he eat with Ines glowering at him as if he'd drowned a litter of kittens?

"Go and find out, Ines," Jason growled. "I'll go down to the pier and ask the captain to wait." He pushed himself up from the table. "Go on. I only hope she's packed."

Caroline stood at her door, grasping the frame for support. Tears ran unchecked down her face as she strained to see the mail boat in the distance. With every second, it grew larger on the horizon. There was no escape.

She had failed. There was no place for her beside Jason, no room in his life. He didn't want her. It didn't matter that her heart was breaking, that she felt as if she were dying on the inside. He didn't want her, and nothing would ever change that.

Not only had she failed herself, she had failed Jason. She was leaving him to wallow in his loneliness and struggle for the rest of his life with the demons that drove him to hide away in this jungle. In her mind, she relived every moment she had spent here, trying to discover where she had gone wrong, what she could have done differently. The fact of the matter, as difficult as it was to swallow, was that he didn't care for her, plain and simple.

Well, Jason might not want her, but he needed her. He was just too stubborn to admit it. He would pay the price in loneliness. Would he find another wife, once the marriage was dissolved? She didn't want to think about it. She was miserable enough without adding jealousy to the emotions simmering beneath her surface calm.

He needed her, damn it! Why couldn't he see what he was doing?

In the corner of her eye, she watched Ines mount the stairs and walk slowly across the balcony toward her.

"It is the mail boat," Ines said.

"I know." Caroline wiped away the tears with the back of her hand.

"I will miss you, Senhora."

Caroline's composure nearly broke. She managed to keep the tears at bay, though her voice trembled when she spoke. "And I'll miss you, Ines."

Taking a deep breath, Caroline gathered her dignity around her like a cloak. In a moment, Ines would embrace her, and if she did so, that would be the end of her self-control.

"Come, help me finish packing," Caroline said stiffly, turning away from the door.