Do not throw up.
If I did, I’d drown. There was no way out, no mouth piece. Only two tiny nose holes that didn’t provide enough oxygen.
Images of the ducking stool came back.
This was just as bad. Just as heinous.
Claustrophobia gathered thicker, heavier, chewing holes in my soul.
I can’t stand it.
“Let me out!” The words were clear in my head, but the paddle pressing on my tongue made it garbled and broken.
The faint sounds of laughter overrode the hiss and gallop of my frantic breathing.
My hands shot to the fastenings, fighting, tugging. I ripped hair and scratched the side of my neck, doing my best to get free. I broke a nail, scrambling at the padlock. Screams and moans and animal caterwauls continued to escape.
I couldn’t form words, but it didn’t stop me from vocalizing my terror.
Bonnie kicked me, laughing harder. “I think an hour or two in the Scold’s Bridle will do you a world of good. Now be a good girl, and endure your punishment.”
The tiny bell saved me.
My heart asphyxiated all over again, remembering the dense heat, the overwhelming panic of the bridle. I never wanted to relive that again. Ever.
You’re free. It’s over.
I didn’t think it was possible, but the bridle was worse than the chair. Even remembering it caused the walls to warp, squeezing me uncomfortably tight.
I had a new affliction: claustrophobia.
Unknown Number: I sense you’re not telling me something. Remember what I used to call you? My naughty nun? God, I was such an arse. I fell for you even then. I think I was in love with you even before I set eyes on you.
All residual fear and ailments from the past week vanished. Fear was a strong emotion, but it had nothing on love.
Fresh tears cascaded over my cheeks.
You have no idea how much I wish to return to such innocence.
To only suffer worries of fashion lines and unpaid custom orders or whether Vaughn had ordered enough taupe buttons. Such frivolous problems—such easily solved concerns.
Not like what I deal with now.
My heart broke all over again. The punishment of abuse slowly turned my mind and body into rubble, fit only for sleep or death.
Needle&Thread: I love you so much.
Unknown Number: I love you more. I love you with every breath I take and every heartbeat I live. I love you more every day.
Tingles shot from my scalp to my toes.
Needle&Thread: I wish you were here. I’d kiss you and touch you and fall asleep in your arms.
Unknown Number: If you fell asleep in my arms, I’d hold you all night and keep you safe. I’d trespass on your dreams and make sure you know you belong to me and give you a future you deserve.
Needle&Thread: What do I deserve? What sort of future do you envision?
Unknown Number: You deserve everything that I am and more. You deserve happiness on top of happiness. You deserve protection and adoration and the knowledge that we will never be apart. You deserve so fucking much, and I mean to give you all of it.
I sighed, feeling the warmest, softest blanket covering me. Jethro might not be here physically, but spiritually he was. His unwhispered words were hugs, and his concern the sweetest of kisses.
Needle&Thread: Just tell me we’ll get through this. Tell me that we’ll be together and grow old together and build a life that no one can take from us ever again.
His reply took a moment, but when my phone chimed, he somehow gave me everything his family had stripped from me. He deleted the appalling events and gave me hope.
Unknown Number: Not only do I plan on having you by my side forever, but I want you as my wife. I want you as the mother of my children. I want you as my lover and best friend. We’ll get through this. It will all be over soon. And when it is, things will change for the better. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Nila, and proving that you took a coward and made him want to be a hero. Your hero.