TJ
Mila closed the door and I stood there feeling like an idiot. She’d looked at me with such a shocked expression on her face when I’d said I’d be dreaming of her all night long. She probably thought I was joking, just like she probably thought I’d been joking about the skinny-dipping, but I hadn’t been joking about either of the two. I knew I was playing with fire and getting myself into potential dangerous territory. I thought about everything I had to do, and I sighed. It wasn’t going to be easy. And a part of me didn’t want to do any of it, but I knew this was the only way. However, that didn’t stop me from walking to Mila’s bedroom door. I stood outside the door debating whether I should knock or just go inside and pull her into my arms. That would be the easy way. I’d seen the way she’d been staring at me, with her lips parted and her face a rosy hue. Mila wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. I wanted to take her and make her mine. I couldn’t believe that she was letting Barbie get a rise out of her. Barbie, who couldn’t even compare in beauty or brains to Mila. Barbie, whom I would have slapped if I weren’t a gentleman. I wish that I hadn’t brought her, though I knew why she was here. Not that I liked it at all. But it wasn’t up to me. Not yet. I just had to bide my time and wait.
My fingers clutched onto the handle and it took everything in me to not open that door. I could almost picture her lying there in the bed, her long blond hair strewn all over the pillow as she hugged the sheets to her body. The bed would be warm and the sheets rumpled as she wiggled around to make herself comfortable. She wouldn’t sleep right away. She’d lie awake, listening to the sound of Sally breathing as she slept, and she’d stare out the window and hopefully she’d think of me. She’d wonder if I’d gone back to my room to fuck Barbie. She’d wonder what would have happened if she’d walked towards me just now when she’d turned around. How I’d willed her to come towards me. To give me a real sign that she wanted me. That’s all I needed. I needed it to come from her. I needed to know that when I took her and made her mine, it was because she wanted it too.
I knew she wanted me—it would have been difficult to have ignored all the signs—but I don’t think she knew what she was getting into with me. I wasn’t all sunrises and late nights at the lake staring at the stars. I was dark nights with the wolves howling into the wind. I was secrets in corners and dark alleys. I was whips and chains and plush red velvet. I was cuffs and ropes and unspeakable actions that would both turn her on and disgust her.
My hand dropped from the handle and I stepped back. Now was not the time to take her. Now was not the time to make her mine. Not now, not in this way. It would almost be too duplicitous. This was too romantic of a setting. I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. Or the right idea. I stepped back from the door and walked to the bathroom. I needed a cold shower. I needed to focus on the task at hand. Mila could wait another night, even if I didn’t want her to. I’d go according to the plan. I’d have her soon. For four weeks. And then she’d see the real me. And I didn’t know if that would be the beginning, or the beginning of the end.
Chapter Eight
Mila
December 19th, 2009
Dear Diary,
Sometimes I hate my brother. I know that’s not a nice thing to say, but he can be such a jerk. I was in the kitchen talking to TJ and I am pretty sure that TJ was going to go in for a kiss and guess who comes into the kitchen and tells me to scat and go to my room—like he owns the kitchen or something? I think he’s jealous because TJ and I really get on. He’s such a jerk. And selfish. I don’t know how Cody and I have the same parents. He’s the spawn of the devil. Maybe his real name is Damien and he’s the antichrist come to make my life a misery. Hopefully that’s not blasphemy! I would ask Nonno, but he would just tell me I need to go to church with him every weekend. And while, I am a Christian, I really don’t like going to church every week. I almost feel bad writing that. Like God might strike me down at any moment for saying that sometimes I find church boring. Sigh, now I’m going to go with Nonno on Sunday to make up for some of the sins in the post. See what I mean? Cody ruins everything. Now I’m going to have to see if I can get TJ in that same position by the fridge again. Granted, he might have been reaching for a Coke and not in for a kiss, but a girl can wish, right?
XOXO
Mila
“I’m here.” Cody’s voice was loud and brash as he burst into the bedroom.
“Cody?” I groaned as I opened my eyes, my brother’s grinning, handsome face staring down at me.
“The one and only.”
“I was sleeping.” I groaned and rolled over in the bed.
“Don’t be a brat,” he said and ruffled my hair. “Wake up.”