Dear Diary,
I’m in love. I want to marry TJ Walker. He’s Cody’s best friend. He has dark brown hair and big green eyes and he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life. He stayed over last night and I saw him coming out of the bathroom in only his boxer shorts. I had thoughts I shouldn’t have at 15, but I don’t care. He gave me a lazy, sexy smile and ruffled my hair like I was some kid. How annoying. He only sees me as a goofy teenager. He doesn’t know that I’m ready to date a college man. Even one that’s stupid enough to be friends with Cody, but I’ll forgive him for that. One day, hopefully soon, I’m going to make him fall in love with me. And when that day comes, I’m going to show him this diary. Perhaps. Until that point, I’ll continue to flirt with Harry Jonas, my lab partner. He’s kinda cute too. Just not as hot as TJ. Even TJ’s name is hot. And Mila Walker sounds a lot better than Mila Jonas. Oh, how I hope to be Mila Walker one day. A girl can only dream.
Mila
XOXO
P.S. Mom, if you’re reading this, you are dead to me!!!!!
Thursday, Two Weeks Ago
His name is TJ Walker. He’s 28, hot as can be and he’s my brother’s best friend. Which means he is off-limits to me. Some may say 28 is too old for my 22 years, but I beg to differ. Guys my age are just way too immature. I need a man, not a boy. And the man I want is TJ Walker. Only, I can never have him.
Not that he wants me. To him, I’m just Cody’s little sister. I’m a girl in his eyes. Not a woman. And while I was in high school, I accepted that maybe I was too young for him. But now that I’m out of college and older, I’m willing to do anything to change his mind. At least, I think I am. I mean, it’s easy to say you’re willing to do anything when there is nothing on the table. But who knows what I would do if presented with some real situations?
I’m not exactly a femme fatale. Or at least I haven’t been up to now. It doesn’t help that TJ and I constantly spar every time we see each other, or that I want to slap him as much as I want to make love to him. Yes, I want to make love to him. If you saw him, you would know why. He’s one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s tall and stocky just like I like them, about 6'2" and 200 pounds of lean muscle. He’s got short, silky dark-brown hair and dazzling emerald eyes. He must work out quite a bit because his legs are muscular and his arms are strong, and would be capable of holding me in obnoxious positions for long amounts of time, if you know what I mean.
Yes, I have dirty thoughts, but I’ve never really been able to act on them. Well, not yet. The only man I want to do all the dirty things I have in my mind to is TJ. I want him to make love to me until I can’t even remember my own name. Or his. Though, let’s be real, it would be very hard to forget TJ Walker’s name, especially when you’ve been crushing on him for as long as I’ve been. Don’t get me wrong, though, I’m not just waiting around for him to realize he loves me; not anymore, at least. I have a plan that I’m hoping to put into action.
If you haven’t figured it out as yet, I’m a realist and a pragmatist, while also being a dreamer. Don’t ask how that works. I don’t really know. My best friend, Sally, says that I’m an enigma. I tend to agree with her. I don’t even understand myself sometimes.
But enough about me, let’s get back to TJ. Like I said before, he’s hot. Like really, really hot. Tall-dark-and-handsome hot. Or, as Sally would say, take-off-your-pants-and-fuck-me-tonight hot. Of course, I wouldn’t say that—well, not out loud I wouldn’t. Though, I’ve had many dreams where I’ve said that and more to TJ. “Take me now, TJ,” being the phrase most often uttered in my dreams. And he always rises to the occasion. If you know what I mean. And it’s not just about his looks, or the fact that he’s rich. I’m not one of those types of girls. I like TJ because he’s a good guy. He helps feed homeless people at Thanksgiving and he’s a Big Brother to this kid who is pretty bratty. And I know he’s not a psychopath, or at least I hope he’s not. I’ve known him since I was a baby, so I would hope I would have seen the signs.
You may be wondering, if I like TJ so much, why don’t I just go after him? Well, for one, he’s my brother Cody’s best friend and has been for 20 years. So he’s known me since I was a little kid with snot in my nose, and I guess that makes him think of me as his little sister. But I sure don’t think of him as an older brother. And I’m determined for him to notice me as more than a little girl.