“Well done, Jack. Very restrained. But seriously, while I appreciate you not rubbing my face in it because I was actually present in the room, what the heck does it matter when the whole world and I have had to see you with the rest of the available women all over the media?” I shrugged my shoulders. “What the hell is one more?”
His body left the truck and the sound of gravel sprayed as he kicked at it, his back to me. “Fuck!” he ground out, and clutched both hands to his hair, grabbing fistfuls, his shoulder blades flexing under his t-shirt. He exhaled loudly then turned back to me, his expression pained. “Unlike you,” he cleared his throat. “I haven’t slept with anyone in seven months.”
“What?” My mind reeled. He thought that I …? Wait. He hadn’t …?
“Not since you.”
My forehead creased in surprise and confusion.
“Feel free to believe me or not, but you should at least know. And …” The muscle in his jaw ticked. “I know what it looked like. For better or worse, I made it look like that on purpose. And I’m sorry. It was fucking dumb. But what you think you saw and what actually happened, or in this case didn’t happen, are two very different things.”
My mind couldn’t process the words it heard fast enough to feel either relief or disbelief. I picked one.
“Just like you didn’t sleep with Audrey, and yet she was possibly carrying your child?” I looked away. How could I possibly believe him at face value?
“Dammit. Will you let me explain? Or are you scared that when you know the truth, no matter how brutal, you’ll have no reasons to hide behind anymore?”
My eyes cut to his and his implored me to hear him. And I saw he was surprised by his own question. And nervous of my answer.
“Yes,” I admitted in a whisper.
His eyes widened fractionally.
“Please, Jack. Maybe I will believe you and maybe I will forgive you, but …”
“But, what?”
I swallowed and faced my truth. “What if I still don’t want to be a part of your life? I have plans and direction and … and … for the first time I can see a future. My future.” I paused, struggling to find the right words. “I’m scared you’ll swallow me whole.”
My admission sliced into the air between us like a guillotine.
“Well.” His brow creased and his throat bobbed. His eyes looked desolate. “That’s a different story, isn’t it?”
I was physically and emotionally drained from my day and from kicking Jack out of my truck … and my life … again. As soon as I got to my bed, I went down like a sack of cement.
I came to with bright sunlight filtering through my window. Casting a fumbling hand out, I grasped my phone off the nightstand to see it was about ten. I was due at the Grill within an hour. I’d also missed another call from Jazz.
Images and emotions from the night before filtered into my mind, wreaking havoc with the sense of peace I should have had after sleeping nine hours straight. Jack’s revelation that he hadn’t been with any of those girls floored me. But I wasn’t sure whether to believe him or if it truly made a difference.
I trudged downstairs to put the coffee on, then came back upstairs to shower. My hair was looking surprisingly pretty with the highlights the salon had put in yesterday. I tied it up out of the way and showered and changed for work. Trying to keep my thoughts from straying to Jack was almost impossible. I felt weird and down about the way things were between us. I’d asked him to stay away, and he hadn’t. I wasn’t necessarily mad at him for it. It was disquieting to discover I was actually relieved to know he’d ignored my request. But now I’d shut him out again. Part of me felt justified. I knew all my reasons for doing so. Then the other part of me, a deep down in my heart part of me, felt heavy and conflicted.
There was a mad lunch rush at the Grill. Residents wouldn’t admit it, but I knew they were hoping to catch their own sighting of Devon and Jack. It left me on edge and harassed. I knew they probably wouldn’t saunter back in, but the mere possibility they could, brought my anxiety level to defcon five.
At three o’clock, when Jazz walked in all tanned, her blonde hair tousled in messy air-dried waves, I was so relieved to see her, I didn’t even question that she was still supposed to be in Florida. I launched myself at her and hugged her hard.
“Dang, give a lobster a break.” She laughed and winced.
“Oh, man, sorry,” I said as I noticed the skin on her back was flaming hot under my fingers.
“Fell asleep by the pool yesterday, and stupid Brandon just let me burn.” She turned around and showed me her back.
“Ow.” I flinched in sympathy at the crimson sight. “So he’s stupid Brandon now? And what are you doing here?” It suddenly occurred to me to ask.