“What’s your point, Jenny?”
“I’m just saying that our girl circle clues in our dudes after the fact. Besties before testes.”
I snorted a laugh. “Did you really just say that?”
“I did!” she said. “Come on!” She waved it in front of me again. “I gotta know. I just gotta know.”
I looked at the test. I wasn’t even late yet, although I knew those tests could tell you a couple days before.
Was I ready to find out? This was the first month we’d tried. We knew the odds were against us.
I should wait for Gavin.
I should just wait.
But I took the stick.
“Yes!” Jenny cried. Phoenix looked up from her blanket, her face perplexed at her mother’s exuberance. Jenny scooped her up. “You’re going to have a playmate!”
“Maybe,” I said. Now that I held the test in my hand, my belly was tightening with fear.
“I’ll hold your hand,” Jenny said. “Let’s go make some pee.”
“It’s not first-morning urine,” I said. “It might not be valid.”
“Not listening!” Jenny said. “Less talking, more peeing!”
“You going to come into the bathroom with me?” I asked.
“Damn straight,” she said. “I’m not letting you chicken out.”
What had I gotten myself into?
Still, Jenny’s excitement was pretty catching. As she walked, she bounced the baby, who giggled infectiously.
I decided to just get it over with. A negative wouldn’t really mean anything, between being a day or two early and not using the best urine. I could handle it.
Jenny hopped up on the cabinet next to the sink and held Phoenix in her lap. “This is how you know you are real besties,” she told the baby. “If you pee on pregnancy sticks together.”
She went on to tell the baby about how she called me when she got scared, and I tuned her out as I focused on the stick. I hadn’t done this in a long time.
At first, I couldn’t make anything come out with Jenny watching, but she noticed and turned away. Then she turned on the water faucet.
When the stream hit the stick, panic coursed through me again. Why was I doing this now? I needed Gavin. I needed to think.
I wouldn’t look.
I capped the end and set it aside. By the time I had washed my hands, I was positive I’d done the wrong thing. “I’m going to head home,” I told Jenny. “I don’t want to know anything right now.”
Jenny frowned and hopped off the cabinet. “Okay, Corabelle. I’m sorry. I thought it would be fun.”
I headed to the living room and picked up my bag. “Those stars should be dry tonight. It doesn’t take long, but watch for any wet spots.”
Jenny’s face contorted like she was going to make a remark about wet spots, but I shot her a glare. She sobered up and shifted Phoenix on her hip. “I won’t look, Corabelle. I’ll just toss it.”
I shrugged and headed for the front door. “You have a place to stash the stars? We don’t need them for weeks.”
“I do. Thanks for coming over to help,” she said.
I waved good-bye and walked to the car. I would put the pregnancy test from my mind. In a few days, if I didn’t get my period, Gavin and I would test together.
The day was warm and breezy. Spring was well underway and school would be out in a few weeks, although I was staying on through the summer. I had been doubling up and would finish my master’s degree in record time. I had only a few classes to go and then my thesis. Hopefully my professors would recommend me, and I could start teaching as an adjunct next year. I had the experience as a TA already.
My future was coming.
I pulled out my phone and called Gavin. Rosa was supposed to let him know today if she could make it to the States. We had lots of plans for things to do with Manuelito, and focusing on that would help take my mind off pregnancy tests and trying-not-trying.
He picked up on the second ring. “Did you hear from Rosa?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “Looks like we’re on for June. Just in time for the wedding.”
“I’m so glad, Gavin. It will be good to see him.”
I heard footsteps behind me. I turned. Jenny was coming at me in a full sprint, Phoenix bobbing on her hip.
“Corabelle! Corabelle!” she shouted.
“Hold on, Gavin, Jenny’s running at me. We’ve been making Tina’s wedding stars.” I turned to her. She’d arrived, breathing hard.
“What is it?” I asked.
She held out the stick. “I lied. I looked.”
I took it from her.
Faint, just barely there, was a thin red line next to the control line.
“Two lines,” she said. “It’s there.”
My knees gave out and I sat on the grass by the curb.
“Corabelle,” Gavin said through the phone. “Everything okay?”
I couldn’t find my voice just yet. I would in a minute. I stared at the stick. I could see everything in that pale, pale line. My future. My fear. My love.
But mainly, I saw hope.
Chapter 27: Tina