I couldn’t focus on that because now I didn’t need anybody counting to push. My body was pushing without me.
“Help it along if you like,” Dr. Jamison said. “But you’re nearly there.”
Chance pressed on my back to help me see. The pain was a blur now, like I’d gotten used to it, or someone had shot some crazy drug into me that made everything soft. The edges of everything had a sort of glow.
I looked down. The doctor’s gloved hands applied pressure around a strange white bulge. Nothing looked anything like I was used to. I was confused about my own body parts, and what I was seeing.
I closed my eyes. That was easier, except then the pain moved forward in prominence. I opened them again.
The doctor barked some command. I sensed all the people moving into position and a nurse closed in.
A new sort of pain ripped through me, hot as a poker, searing.
“Here he comes,” Dr. Jamison said. “Head’s coming through.”
Chance leaned over. I could feel the heaviness of his body. I tried to look, tried to concentrate, but everything was fuzzy.
The white bulge moved out, and I finally realized this was the baby’s head. The doctor turned him slightly, and I could see a nose.
“One more good push, Jenny,” he said.
I bore down, ready for this to be done, to be able to see the baby. My jaw ached from clenching it, and my whole body felt wrung out. But I pushed. I counted in my head.
Then I looked again.
One shoulder came out, then the other. Then the baby slid out without any sort of struggle. The cord dangled between us, covering the important parts. Was this a boy or a girl? I wanted to ask, but couldn’t catch my breath.
Then Dr. Jamison pushed the cord aside, and I could see. The baby was a girl. A girl!
One of the nurses stuck a bulb in the tiny mouth and sucked something out. The baby began to cry then, a strangled little sound. Then it got louder and louder. A nurse wrapped her in a blanket and laid her on my belly. I put my hand on her back. She was here.
I looked up at Chance in wonder. He couldn’t stop staring at the baby, his daughter. His little girl. I leaned my head on his shoulder.
“You want to cut the cord?” Dr. Jamison asked.
“Sure,” Chance said. He pushed pillows behind me and moved down to my knees.
I didn’t care what they were doing down there. I just kept my focus on the baby, who had given up on crying, conked out on my stomach.
After a moment, Chance stood and the nurse lifted the baby higher, to my chest. “Hold her for a moment,” she said. “Then we need to assess her. She’s early.”
This made me panic, and I pulled her tight. She looked so perfect and tiny. I didn’t think anything could be wrong.
Chance kissed the top of my head and held the baby’s tiny hand between his fingers. “She’ll be all right,” he said.
The nurse leaned in and took her. I felt cold and empty as her body left mine. I started weeping, and Corabelle rushed forward. “You’re okay,” she said. “She’s okay.”
The two nurses and a man in scrubs surrounded the plastic crib. I couldn’t see what they were doing. I nudged Chance. “Go watch,” I said.
Tina was snapping pictures with her phone. Thank goodness. My mom was going to be devastated that she wasn’t here. I had to call her. There was no help for it, as she wasn’t even in San Diego right now. But she’d get here as soon as she could. And so would Dad. They were grandparents.
And of course Mrs. McKenzie, Chance’s mom.
I scooted the pillows back and lay against the bed. I was exhausted and elated at the same time. Everything surged in me. I couldn’t rein in my emotions.
The man in scrubs nodded and came over. “The baby looks just fine. Her Apgar was 7, which is really good for her gestational age.”
“Do I get to keep her in here?” I asked.
“We’re going to take her for just a few minutes to clean her up and check her lungs, then we’ll bring her right back.”
“I’m going,” I said, and tried to pull my legs out of the stirrups.
“Not yet,” Dr. Jamison said. He was still in position at the end of the bed. “We still have some tidying up to do.”
“I’ll go,” Chance said. “Corabelle, you’ll stay with her?”
“No!” I said. “Corabelle, go with the baby. You’ll know what’s happening.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Tina said. She sat on the edge of the bed and squeezed my arm. “Let us know what’s going on.”
“This is all standard procedure,” Dr. Jamison said. “If something was going wrong, there would be a lot more people in here.”
They rolled the crib out. The crib with my baby. Mine! I tried to calm down, but my breathing was rapid. I didn’t want her out of my sight. “I’m scared,” I said.
Darion came over to the bed. “I’ll go too,” he said. “I can text Tina what is going on.”