I just pressed my cheek into him and breathed in the scent of his skin. But my thoughts kept turning. Was I bleeding more? Had it stopped? Should I have stayed home? Did I cause this? I started crying again, hot fat tears that soaked the pillow.
Chance hung on to me. When I kept going, finding some endless well of tears that simply wouldn’t stop, he hummed a melody that seemed kind of familiar, then slid into the song that he once told me was his favorite.
Hush little baby, don’t say a word, Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.
At first I cried even harder, for no reason I could figure out, but as the song went on and on, one verse sliding right into the next, eventually my tears slowed down and my breathing evened out.
Then sleep took over and gave me peace.
Chapter 43: Chance
Jenny was asleep.
Her whole pillow was wet and her cheek stuck to my shoulder from the tears. I shifted carefully, taking care not to disturb her, and settled her a little easier alongside me.
My mind tried to wrap around what she’d told me. Pregnant. She’d gotten pregnant from that one night.
Pregnant.
I said it over and over in my head until it sounded foreign, like a made-up word.
Jenny hadn’t seemed like the sort of girl who would get caught up in all that, but obviously she planned to keep the baby if she went looking for me. She was so upset at the idea it was in trouble that she clearly must want to have it.
The hotel room was quiet and cold. I should probably have gotten up and shut off the lights, maybe turned down the air-conditioning. But I didn’t want to wake up Jenny. If she started bleeding again, she’d really panic.
I didn’t know anything about babies. My friends could barely hold on to a girl for any length of time, much less start families.
A kid. Damn. I’d have to get back into concrete work, get something steady, something with benefits.
My traveling days were over.
Jenny’s phone buzzed several times, probably her friend asking how she was. I let it be. The world had completely changed for me, but outside this room, nothing was any different than it had been an hour ago.
I looked down at her, the pink dreadlocks draping across her shoulder and the white pillow. I didn’t know hardly anything about her. But we were bound together now.
I was used to not sleeping much, but this was the first real bed I’d been in for a while, and I must have dozed off. When I opened my eyes, Jenny was looking at me. We stared at each other a moment, not moving.
Then she said, “How long has it been?”
I glanced behind her at the clock. “About three hours.”
She rolled onto her back, slowly and carefully, as if her body was made of glass. “I should check.”
I could tell she didn’t want to. “You want me to come in there with you?”
She didn’t answer. These were intimate things, body and blood, sex and babies, life and death. But here we were, two strangers, sharing them before our time.
Then she nodded. I sat up, holding out my hand to her. She took it and slid evenly over the bed, jarring her body as little as possible. It made me wonder if she could keep that up for nine whole months. Seemed like the little critter needed to be able to handle a bit of motion. But I didn’t know anything.
Jenny shifted on the bed so she could drop her feet over the edge. She stood with pained deliberation, as if every movement could bring about a terrible end. With small, gentle steps, she headed for the bathroom. I kept her shaky hand in mine as we walked that short distance together.
The light in there was blindingly bright compared to the lamps in the room. Jenny blinked, standing beside the toilet as she let go of my hand. She drew in a deep breath before reaching for the roll of paper and tearing off a few squares.
I glanced away as she moved to check, not sure if I could handle the answer any more than her. Heartbeats passed. Then the toilet flushed.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Corabelle was right.”
I pulled her into me. She buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her back and held her close. She breathed, in and out, shuddering occasionally.
Eventually I led her back into the room and the bed. When I had her tucked back in, I adjusted the thermostat and killed all but one of the small lights on a side table.
I slid in next to her between the cool sheets. She didn’t move into me, and I knew I was supposed to say something now. I tried to figure out the words, that it’d be okay, we’d figure things out. But I didn’t know her, not really, and I couldn’t make any assurances. We had a lot to sort out.
Finally, I said, “We’ll figure things out tomorrow.”
She didn’t say anything to that. I reached for her and brought her in close. That’s the best I could do for now.
Chapter 44: Jenny
I’ve had a lot of awkward morning-afters, but this one was the worst.