Hmm. That was about it.
Well, that and length and girth. My body hitched again, and I closed the laptop. I was tired. It had been a late night and a stressful as hell day. For once, I was actually ready to go back to class.
Now that was tragic.
Chapter 20: Chance
I didn’t intend to go back to the beach Jenny took us to, but somehow, I’d ended up there.
The waves crashed along the shore. Everything looked different in the light of day. A few stragglers in jackets walked along the sand. No one got in the spray. Far out from shore, I could see a sailboat, its white triangles disappearing into the blown-out sky.
I held my guitar case in one hand, my backpack slung over my shoulder. I was supposed to be heading north to catch a ride to Portland, maybe, or Washington State. But my feet had led me here.
I’d sold my cell to a guy on a street corner paying cash for old phones. My past couldn’t catch me now. Those old ghosts were as invisible as air.
The sand crunched beneath my boots. I didn’t know what had led me here, really. I was acting like a fool boy with a crush. After everything I’d seen of Jenny, I should be done with the whole mess. She’d singled me out and used me to get some publicity.
But she’d been so genuine, her highs and lows, passion and intensity, laughing and then letting tears flow down my hand.
I kicked at a rock peeking out from the ground. I was approaching the outcropping where we’d hidden.
We’d hidden.
If she’d wanted to get caught on camera, seems like she would have stayed out in the open. And the beach had been my idea, not hers. And she pointed out the rock.
I didn’t get it. None of it. I approached the rock. Other people had been here since us. The place was scattered with footprints and two half-buried soda cans.
I stepped into the sheltered space. I set my guitar case in the sand, and just for a moment, pressed my hands against the rough surface of the rock. In that instant, my past aligning with my present, I could see her, the shadow of her, looking up at me.
I closed my eyes and when the smells and sounds kicked in, I felt like I was back there. The sharpness of the sea air. The roar of the waves pounding the shore. The gritty feeling underneath my feet as the sand shifted.
I thought of heading to San Diego instead. Of finding her.
Then I pulled myself together.
Hell, no.
I pushed away from the rock, breaking the spell. She was probably out with her movie director guy, all glitzed up, practicing her come-hither look for some other unsuspecting sap they could laugh about over cocktails.
I snatched up my guitar and headed back to the street. One thing had been sure about LA: no matter how promising everything had seemed at first — the band, the party, the celebrities — it wasn’t my friend.
I had a long walk ahead. Nobody would pick me up until I was out of the city proper. But I was used to it. I would hightail it away from the crowded streets and back into the open. Then my next set of possibilities would split wide, and I’d forget everything. The mansions. The stars. The beach. The actresses.
As I took off down the road, heading roughly north, I did admit one thing to myself, though. It was going to take a lot to forget about her.
Chapter 21: Jenny
I went to class on Monday, big fat sunglasses on my face like I was a movie star trying to be incognito. But when that felt stupid, I yanked them off.
Then two guys started staring at me outside the library, and I just knew it was because they recognized my hair from the video, so I put them on again and tucked my dreadlocks into a bandana.
Maybe I should cut the extensions off. I went to World Lit with a chip on my shoulder, sure that everyone was looking at me and picturing me without my black bars. I hunkered down in my seat, feeling exposed. I didn’t hear a single word of the lecture. I might as well have stayed home.
After class I met Corabelle at the quad and we sat in our usual spot on the diamonds of grass, but I felt edgy and vulnerable.
“Can we go somewhere less public?” I finally asked.
“Sure,” she said. “You want to go sit in the chairs by the food court?”
“That’s pretty public,” I said.
“By the statue?” she suggested.
“Still public!”
Corabelle took my elbow and dragged me to my feet. I wished I had a less beautiful friend, as the two of us together tended to attract attention. “Do you have any sunglasses you could put on?” I asked her.
“Whoa, you are way over the top,” she said. “Let’s go find a quiet corner somewhere.”
I followed her through the forest of trees in the center of campus, glad she was straying off the path. We wound up at the base of the library, off to one side where nobody ever ventured. I sat down on a rock.
“What’s going on?” she asked me. “You always liked the spotlight before.”