Because I fucked up royally last night.
Last night, lying in Colt’s bed, the night we shared replaying in my head, the night before, the phone calls that day, the kisses, the fact that this was all coming from Colt – just thinking about all of it turned me on. So much, I considered taking care of myself.
Before I could, his phone rang and I heard the murmur of his voice and I knew, I just knew, it was about me. It was about Colt taking care of me, Colt keeping me safe, Colt sleeping three hours and taking phone calls late in an all out effort to end my nightmare.
So I waited for the call to end and I knew what I was going to do. I didn’t come to the decision. I just knew I was going to do it. I didn’t think about it because thinking about it would stop me from doing it and I didn’t want anything to stop me.
It wasn’t smart. It was stupid but I wanted it and I had the feeling Colt wanted it, I was going to give it to him and I’d worry about it later.
The same old stupid February.
So I did it.
Now there I was and it was all on the line, with family, with friends, with Colt.
I should have waited to see how it played out, what would happen after all of this shit was over.
But I didn’t.
Same old stupid February.
I moved carefully, rolling away from him, deciding I needed yoga or tequila. Seeing as it was morning, I’d have to pick yoga though I would have preferred tequila.
My roll placed my back to him. I was nowhere near the other side of the bed when he caught me with an arm around my waist.
“Where you goin’?” His voice was gruff with sleep and it was at my ear because he’d pulled me back into his body.
“Feed Wilson,” I told him.
His other arm slid under me. “Wilson can wait.”
“Wilson doesn’t like –”
I stopped speaking because his hands moved, one down my belly to between my legs, one up to cup my breast. Then his finger and thumb closed on my nipple and at the feel of it, so magnificent, I automatically pressed my ass into his groin and arched my back to push my breast into his hand.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered in my ear and kissed my neck and his words accompanied by his fingers worked sheer magic.
It didn’t take long before I was riding his hand, my neck twisted, my face pressed in the pillows to stifle my moans.
“Give me your mouth, Feb,” Colt demanded and I didn’t make him wait. Immediately, my neck twisted the other way.
He pushed up and kissed me and it was better than any kiss before which was saying something. Better than any kiss from him, better than any kiss I’d ever had. It was the best.
His mouth broke from mine as my hips started jerking.
“That’s it, take yourself there,” he encouraged against my mouth.
“Alec.”
“That’s it baby.”
My hips reared, I was close and getting desperate.
“Alec.” His name sounded like a plea.
“You want my cock?”
“Yes,” I whispered. I could feel it, hard, pressing against my ass and I knew what it felt like driving in deep and I wanted it more than breath.
“Tilt your ass, honey.”
I did as I was told, he gave me what I wanted and slid inside, his hand between my legs still working me, his other hand slid up, to my jaw, keeping my neck twisted. He was thrusting, I was gasping, closer, reaching for it.
Colt’s gravelly words gave it to me. “Come around my cock, Feb.”
Again, I did as I was told.
It had never been better. He was the best I ever had.
And last night was even better, coming twice, long, hard, in quick succession, unheard of, unbelievable, brilliant.
This time, more of the same, nothing like it. Soul shattering.
And I knew it wasn’t just because it was great, I knew it was because it was Colt.
I came down and kept my ass offered to him as he continued thrusting, my hand moving down his arm, going between my legs, covering his, holding our hands together, feeling him driving in and out of me.
“You feel beautiful,” I whispered and it was the truth.
“Baby,” he growled.
My hand tightened on his. “Nothing like it, Alec, nothing better than you.”
He buried himself deep and groaned into my hair and I squeezed his hand even tighter.
He settled into my back, his hips moving gently like last night, gliding out an inch then coming back in, keeping the connection while giving me a sweet, intimate caress.
I liked it, too much. I was right, he felt beautiful.
I was so stupid.
“Next time,” Colt said into the back of my hair, sounding sated yet weirdly disgruntled, “I’m gonna fuck you so I can see you when you come.”
I wanted to be the smart February who declared there’d be no next time but instead I was the stupid February who knew there would definitely be a next time, no matter what was at stake even if what was at stake was everything.
“Babe, I need to feed Wilson,” I whispered though Wilson was now gone and I couldn’t hear him meowing which was strange.
Colt’s arms grew tight before they grew lax.
“I’m gonna sleep in,” he moved and I knew it was to bend when he kissed my shoulder blade, “wake me in an hour?”
It was a request so I said, “Sure.”
He slid out of me, his arms giving me another squeeze as he did and when he let go I scooted off the bed.
I made the mistake of turning to look at him. Colt was up on a forearm, just a few inches, and his eyes were drifting over my body. I didn’t know what he saw. I’d never been particularly modest, I didn’t go around flaunting it but with a lover I also didn’t hide it.
With Colt, it was different. I wanted him to see what he wanted to see. I wasn’t sixteen anymore, not even twenty, hell, not even thirty. He wasn’t either but his body was fantastic, better than back then, bulkier, stronger. I wanted him to think the same thing and I couldn’t be certain he did.
I rushed to my shirt and yanked it on. Then I did the same with my panties and I started to the door.