I could see her now, pursing her lips, like she always did when I defended myself. My breath rushed out as I gripped the phone until it cut into my fingers, fighting to keep calm. She just wouldn’t drop me going into rehab, even months later.
It happened so quickly. It started with a few pills to help me stay awake to study for the MCAT, my boss working me too many hours that cut into my study time and, before I knew it, I was willing to shell over my wages from GNC for any pill I could get my hands on just to stay on top of everything. I wanted to tell my mom this, so that she’d understand I wasn’t like Eric but, whenever I tried, she got this glazed-over look like she didn’t care so eventually I stopped.
“Good thing. Have a good night, sweetie. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
I didn’t know if I would ever get my relationship back, the one where they trusted me, were proud of me, and talked to patients about their daughter who got accepted to med school. Even after six months of being clean, I still hadn’t earned their trust. Maybe I never would.
Chapter Six
Ryan
Dad called me in for the evening shift on Wednesday, one of the busiest nights of the week. Jules flitted around, helping a customer with printers when I strolled through the front entrance. My stomach shot straight toward the ground when she smiled at a customer, her pretty pink lips parting to reveal toothpaste-ad-worthy teeth that lit up her face. Fuck me. I shouldn’t want this girl, but something deep inside me, some primal need shouted Me Ryan, me want hot blonde in green Office Jax shirt.
After Lex, I sure as hell didn’t want anything serious, but she might be a great distraction for the ache in my chest. Hard to have a hookup when the girl hated my guts, though. The feeling was probably amplified when she apparently heard my conversation with Lex. Peach’s click-clacking heels came to a halt outside the break room and I knew I’d been busted. But she couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation—the one where Lex tried to justify sleeping with Dwayne because I said I didn’t know what I wanted from our future. Lex couldn’t get it through her head that uncertainty didn’t warrant sucking another guy’s cock. A few good nights with Peach and I’d get out of this breakup slump.
As that stupid article said, I needed to find common ground, because I was determined to find out if Peach’s lip gloss tasted like cherry or strawberry, which I’d spent last night debating. My guess: cherry. I held back a groan as I imagined those glossed lips working their way over skin straight to my—okay, not going there when I was out in the middle of the service floor, these Dockers giving little protection if I started sporting a stiffy.
I made my way to the back and started packing reams of paper when I noticed a dolly leaning against the far wall. Was that there yesterday? No way in hell I missed that. I had searched for one last night and came up empty, having to make a few dozen trips back and forth carrying stacks of paper.
Dad strolled in the back as I got the dolly. I pointed to it and said, “Was this here yesterday?”
He gave his classic fuck you smirk. “The whole time.”
No way. I know I checked.
I pointed to it again. “Right here? In this exact spot?”
He shrugged. “It may have been in the storage room.”
“And you couldn’t have told me that when my arms were on fire?” I got it, he was pissed, his money was down the shitter, but if he could just cut me a little slack, I’d show him I wasn’t completely inept.
“You didn’t ask.”
“Gee, thanks, Dad.” I’d give anything to be out on a boat right now, the wind and water drowning out my thoughts. Ever since Dad signed me up for sailing lessons when I was ten, the ocean had been my go-to place. A few hours on the water calmed my nerves, leveled me out.