Fixed on You

Chapter Twenty





Round two began almost two hours later on the sands of the private beach below Mabel Shores. It took over an hour to change and load up the beach chairs and Jet Skis from the storage shed into the back of the Ford Raptor the family used to drive the half mile down the hill to the beach. Millie also made a lunch for later and packed a cooler with beverages.

Sophia was mellow when we arrived at the beach, choosing to doze while the rest of us finished setting up our chairs and other items. By the time I was lounging next to Hudson under a big rainbow colored umbrella, I’d convinced myself that I could relax and enjoy the warm breeze and rhythmic sound of the waves rolling on the sand.

The idea of quiet serenity disappeared when Adam and Chandler suggested a game of beach volleyball.

“Alayna?” Hudson looked up from his Kindle. “We could be a team.”

“You play?” I’d been about ready to move my lounge chair into the sun and try to get a cancer-causing tan, but I could be talked into some friendly competition.

He scowled at me, a challenge glinting in his eyes. “Don’t act so surprised. I’m very skilled.”

I could tell from his tone that he was, and as competitive as I knew a man of his success had to be, I imagined he was quite good.

“He rarely loses,” Jack confirmed, returning from an ocean swim. He shook his long wet hair before taking a seat. “He takes after his old man.”

Hudson shook his head almost imperceptibly, not seeming to want to credit his father with any of his ability.

“Fantastic.” Sophia shifted in her seat, reminding everyone of her presence. “I’m trying to relax and you all are going to be noisy and wild and disturb the peace.”

“That’s what beaches are for,” Jack said over his shoulder, not bothering to look directly at his wife. “You could go back to the house if you don’t like it.”

Sophia’s opposition made my decision. “I’m in.” I pulled off my cover-up and began slathering sunscreen on the newly exposed areas of my body while Adam and Chandler attached the net to the permanent poles anchored in the sand.

“That’s your swimsuit?” Hudson grumbled beside me. “You’re practically naked. It’s going to distract the men playing.”

“Think of it as your secret weapon.”

“Except one of those men will be me.” He casually adjusted himself in his long navy swim shorts.

I shot him a smile, my insides melting at his obvious arousal. “Later, big boy.” And that was a promise. “Meanwhile, would you mind getting my back?”

I leaned forward and hugged my knees. Hudson took the lotion and sat in the space behind me, straddling me. I suppressed a moan as his hands applied the lotion, his fingers kneading longer and deeper into my skin than necessary.

“I love touching your skin,” he murmured near my ear, then nipped at my lobe, soothing it afterward with a smooth swipe of his tongue. It was an awfully sexual gesture, one I didn’t expect from him in the company of others. Either he’d upped his game or he was no longer finding it as easy to compartmentalize as he usually did.

I turned my head into him to see if I could read his face but stopped when I spotted his mother watching us, her eyes narrow slits of anger. So that was the reason behind his display. Satisfaction rose in my chest, but simultaneously I felt a wave of disappointment. Though I thoroughly enjoyed Sophia’s misery, our job had been to sway her to acceptance, not alienation. The task was impossible, I’d embraced that. But I knew Hudson hadn’t, and I hurt for the distress that his mother caused him.

“Net’s ready,” Adam declared, kicking a pile of sand toward us to make sure he had our attention.

Hudson stood and reached his hand out to help me up beside him. Once I was up, he didn’t let go, even as I pulled at my swimsuit bottoms with my other hand, relieving myself of the wedgie I’d gotten from sitting. All the while, I felt Sophia’s stare, knew I was on her radar. Soon, she’d fire. I sensed it.

“Dammit. I want to play,” Mira whined. “You know I’d be MVP.”

“Yes, baby, you would.” Adam bent down to rub her full belly protruding over the top of her bikini bottoms. “But you play rough, and that wouldn’t be good for little jellybean.”


“Yeah, you gotta protect my first grandchild,” Jack said proudly.

Sophia peered at her husband. “But she isn’t technically having the first grandchild, Jack.” She paused to ensure all ears were tuned to her. “Celia and Hudson’s baby claims that title.”

A whooshing sound filled my ears and I felt dizzy, as if on a tilt-o-whirl. Celia and Hudson’s baby. Why…what…?

My shock was magnified by Hudson’s reaction. He didn’t deny it. Instead, he tried to pull me closer. “Alayna,” he whispered.

“Sophia!” I heard Jack hiss. “How dare you compare that to Mira’s baby?”

Vaguely I was aware of Mira saying something, but I couldn’t make sense of anything except the cold disappointment that rattled in my bones. I had to get away, had to think, had to breathe. I pulled my hand from Hudson’s grasp and left, walking quickly down the beach, away from the Pierce family.

“F*ck you, Mother,” Hudson said behind me before I was out of earshot.

A baby. Hudson had a baby. With Celia. I couldn’t even grapple with trying to figure out where the baby was or what happened to it, too pained by the conception of a baby in the first place. It was ridiculous. He wasn’t mine, he never was. But a baby…merely another way he belonged to Celia. Belonged with Celia.

I kept walking when Hudson called after me. But I didn’t run from him when he jogged to catch up.

“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m playing the part of a wounded girlfriend.”

He matched my stride, but didn’t try to touch me. “Then why are you crying?”

I’d hoped we didn’t have to acknowledge the tears spilling down my cheeks. I swiped at them with my palm, still holding my smile in place. “I’m just surprised.” My voice was tight despite the cheer I tried to inject in it. “I didn’t know you had slept with her.”

“I didn’t.”

“You obviously did.”

“No, my mother thinks I got Celia pregnant. I did not.”

His words stopped me, a bubble of hope forming inside. “And why is that?”

He ran his hand over his face before he answered. “Because when Celia got pregnant I told our parents I was the father.”

I folded my arms over my chest waiting for more, but he gave nothing. “Are you going to explain?”

“No.” He mirrored my stance. “It’s not relevant.”

I spun on my heels, walking faster this time. How did he expect me to be in this f*cking fake relationship when I didn’t have all the information? Maybe I was only a pawn in his mind games. It was the only thing that made sense.

“Alayna, stop.”

He followed after, reaching for me. This time I pulled away.

“Stop!” He caught up to me and grabbed me firmly at the shoulders. He turned me to him. “I said, ‘stop!’”

”Why can’t you tell me?” My tears had turned to sobs.

“Why can’t you trust me?”

I let out a single laugh, maddened by the insanity of his request. “That’s funny—you asking me to trust you when you trust me with absolutely nothing.” I mean, what did I know about him? Besides his expertise in bed and a few random tidbits that I’d learned in one long car ride, he’d shared nothing.

His voice tightened. “You know more about me than most people.”

It felt like an accusation. That I knew that thing—the one thing he didn’t want anyone to know. But he hadn’t even been the one to tell me that. And it was only one detail of the complex makeup of Hudson Pierce.

“No,” I said, sticking my chin out defiantly. “I know one thing about you that most people don’t. It’s different.”

“It’s the only thing that matters.”

“Bullshit.” If he truly believed that…how could he be so blind to think that all that mattered about him were the mistakes of his past? It broke my heart and my voice cracked as I spoke. “There’s so much more to you than that.”

I wanted to touch him, to caress his face, to make him see. I stretched my hand tentatively toward him, but he stepped back.

“Obviously you do know me,” he spit out, “if you feel comfortable making that kind of statement.” His tone was nasty, sarcastic. He didn’t believe it. He was spinning my words, my meaning.

I turned away from him, processing. I did know things about him—things I’d discovered from spending time with him. I did believe there was more to him than the guy who manipulated women for sport. I saw it in him, felt it when he kissed me, and when he lay between my legs.

And if I really believed his sincerity in those moments, then I had to say I trusted him.

Which meant he was telling the truth now—he hadn’t fathered a baby with Celia. But then why would he tell his parents that he had?

The realization punched my stomach like a ton of bricks. “It’s because you love her, isn’t it?” Voicing it made the weight even heavier. “That’s why you told your parents it was your baby.”

“No!”

His defiant protest spun me back to face him. “There’s no other logical reason.” To assume such a huge responsibility for another person—that required an emotional connection. It was proof he wasn’t a sociopath—that he could care for someone at that level—but that was hardly comfort to me in that moment.

“Stop this, Alayna.” It was a command, a low even tone that I guessed few people argued with.

But I was determined to hear him confirm the truth that would kill me. “You’re in love with her.”

He threw his arms out emphatically. “For the love of God! If I am even capable of that emotion, Celia’s not the one I’d be…” He stopped himself, his jaw snapping shut.

Celia’s not the one…His words echoed in my ears like a song I loved to hear.

He stepped toward me. Cupping his hands at the sides of my face, he lifted my chin roughly toward him. “I’m not in love with Celia. I promised I’d be honest with you, Alayna, but it does no good if you don’t trust me.”

I was still reeling from his slip. Celia wasn’t the one he’d…what? Be in love with? Then who—with me?

But he wasn’t giving that away. For now, his almost statement was enough—it calmed my nerves and steadied my heart.

He smoothed the hair down behind my ear, and I stared into his gray eyes, noting a tenderness that I hadn’t seen earlier. “I’ve never slept with Celia.” His tone was soft but urgent. “I’m not in love with her. I didn’t get her pregnant. Trust me.” Even softer, even more urgent. “Please.”

“Okay.”

His brow creased in surprise. “Okay?”

“Okay, I trust you.”

“You do?”

I thought of how eager I’d been to have Brian’s trust, how disappointed I’d been when I realized I still didn’t. Hudson needed someone, needed me to believe in him. I should have been telling him every second. If I loved him, like I believed I did, then I’d have to do better at building him up.

I smiled at him. “I do.”

His body relaxed like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. “Thank you.” He kissed my forehead. “Thank you.”

I was absorbed with him in that space of time, but not so much as to not observe its oddity. We were holding each other close, exchanging assurances that portrayed us as more than casual lovers. What are we doing? I almost asked him; I felt the shape of the words on my tongue, but couldn’t locate the air to push them past my lips. Did he sense it too?

If he recognized it, he hid it from me, pulling my head down to his shoulder where I couldn’t look for it in his eyes. And that was fine. I enjoyed his embrace, the warmth and security it gave me, whatever it meant for us.

After the possibility of addressing the moment had passed, he said, “Look. My mother’s leaving.”

I pulled away to glance at the group we’d left behind. Sure enough, Sophia with her oversized sunhat was walking alone up the pathway toward the house. With her gone, it made the idea of rejoining the group more tolerable. “We should get back.”

“We should.” A hint of reluctance laced his tone and his eyes shifted to my lips. “We should kiss and make up first.” He’d already begun lowering his face to mine. “In case anyone’s watching.”

I didn’t have time to agree before one hand wrapped around the back of my neck and his tongue swept into my mouth. Unlike the majority of our kisses that were generally reserved for sex, this one was sweet and easy. That didn’t mean it lacked passion. Hudson sucked and licked and nibbled first at my top lip and then gave equal treatment to the bottom. Then his tongue was inside my mouth again, reaching and searching, circling mine in a lazy spiral.

He labeled it as a kiss for our distant spectators, but it was completely ours—a harmonic blending of him and me, so thoroughly fused I could no longer remember where he began, where I ended, whose taste belonged to who. And it was more—a love song without words, a promise without fear. It was a spark, a beginning of something new.

We parted hesitantly, both of us afraid to break the spell. Then, I slipped my hand in his and we returned to our roles as girlfriend and boyfriend.


Hudson changed after that, perhaps because Sophia had left, but I chose to believe it had more to do with the faith I had placed in him. He became playful and lighthearted. I witnessed it first in the volleyball match against Adam and Chandler. He skillfully dominated the game, as I was sure he dominated a boardroom. But in between plays he surprised me—giving me high fives and patting me lightly on the behind. It didn’t feel like he was putting on a show—there wasn’t any need to convince Adam and Chandler of our relationship.

I welcomed the development, embracing it perhaps too readily, the line between real and pretend blurring.

After we’d won two sets of volleyball, we took a spin on the Jet Skis—Hudson driving, me clutching to him tightly from behind. He rode confidently across the choppy water, and I thrilled at the speed and the closeness and how easy it was to just be with him.

And when we lost our balance and fell into the ocean, he clutched me to him and laughed then kissed me mercilessly before righting the Jet Ski and pulling me up behind him. “Again, precious?” he yelled over the motor.

“Again.”

Later, after we’d packed up and returned from the beach, we changed our clothes and went down for a BBQ on the veranda that included brats and dogs cooked by Jack. Sophia claimed another insufferable headache and only showed herself momentarily to say goodnight, though I suspected she really came down to fill her glass.

We finished the evening with several rounds of poker where Jack cleaned everyone out. Then Hudson and I headed to our bedroom, our eyes wandering along the landscapes of each other’s bodies as we climbed the stairs.

The door had barely shut behind us before Hudson had me caged to the wall, his body pressed against me as he took my lips in a hungry desperate kiss, probing and demanding with his tongue until I was gasping in his mouth. My head swam, my panties instantly drenched with arousal, but I summoned strength to push my palms firmly against his chest. “Hold on, Hudson,” I said, breathless.

“Dammit, Alayna, I have to be inside you. I can’t wait any longer.”

He moved in again, but I turned my head and his mouth found my jawline instead. “Soon, H.” I darted out under his arm. “Lower the lights like you did the other night.” I walked backward as I spoke until I hit the closet where we’d stowed our suitcases. Hudson had hung several items of clothing and put others into the dresser drawers, but I still hadn’t bothered to unpack. “Get settled in bed. Naked.” I winked.

“Oh, you’re taking charge,” he said, leaning on the wall with an outstretched arm. “How adorable.”

“Don’t patronize me.” I bent inside the closet to rifle for the red baby doll halter nightie he’d missed seeing me wear the night before. When I found it, I wadded it up in a tight ball so he couldn’t see it yet and took off for the bathroom.

“I’m not. I’m excited.” He rubbed along the crotch of his pants. “I’m already hard.”

My lip curled into a wicked grin. “Good. Now do as you were told.” I stopped in the doorframe of the bathroom. “And don’t fall asleep!”

“Then don’t take forever in the bathroom.”

Grinning, I shut the door. Charged with nervous anticipation, I changed at lightning speed. The day had been beyond wonderful and real. It had been so long since I felt anything more than contentment, and with Hudson, I did. I was certain he did, too. We’d been falling together. And now I wanted to celebrate those feelings with my lover, acknowledging the depths of my emotions with my body even if I couldn’t yet express them in words.

I positioned my hair to fall around my shoulders, turned off the bathroom light then opened the door. The lights were low so I took a step forward where he could see me.

Hudson sat naked on top of the bed covers. His breath caught when he saw me. “Jesus, Alayna. You’re so goddamn beautiful.” He moved to a kneeling position. “I might have to let you wear that while I f*ck you.”

I was used to his forward sex talk, but I blushed anyway.

“Come here,” he growled.

I started toward him then stopped. “Wait, I’m in control, remember?”

He sat back on his haunches and tilted his head. “Then take charge.”

Tingles spread from my belly throughout my body, turned on by the commanding way he relinquished his authority. He’d always dominated our sex, yet he was letting me take over, a choice that might even diminish the experience for him, though I hoped not. It added an element of pressure that I hadn’t expected, but also thrilled me.

“Sit back against the headboard.” My demand sounded stronger than I had expected.

Hudson grinned then did as I’d ordered.

Throwing my shoulders back to assume more confidence than I had—and, also to showcase my haltered bosom—I sauntered to the foot of the bed. Facing him, I climbed up and crawled toward him.

I kept my gaze on his face watching as his eyes flitted back and forth from my eyes to my breasts as I crept toward him. My hands trailed along his calves as I moved up him then swept past his knees to his firm thighs. I stopped at the base of his rock hard penis and dipped my head down, licking along the length with one swipe of my tongue.

Hudson’s pupils were hot coals of desire. “Do it again.”

It would have been natural for me to give in to his command, but I wasn’t ready to relinquish my dominance. “Maybe I will.”

His grin widened. He had been testing the hold on my control and I’d passed.

I dipped again, this time kissing along his head, my eyes never leaving his. I licked across the crown one more time, savoring the salty taste of him before I fed his erection past my lips into the warmth of my mouth.

He let out a groan. “Oh, precious, you suck me so good.”

I teased him, fondling and caressing his balls in one hand while I licked and sucked and cherished his dick with my mouth, never taking up a steady pace. Soon, he threaded his fingers through my hair and began to take over, holding my head still over his penis, as he bucked into my mouth, establishing the rhythm he craved.

I let him keep control for only a moment, treasuring the grunts and groans that accompanied his thrusts. Then I pulled at his arm to release his grip on my head, and raised my body, letting his cock fall from my mouth.

He moaned.

“You want more?” I teased. “You’ll have to wait.” I climbed further up his body and spread my legs to straddle his waist and felt his firm ridge knocking against my ass.

His eyes widened in curiosity.

I spread my palms across his bare torso and leaned down to take his mouth. His kiss was greedy and eager, his tongue working inside my mouth. He moved his hands to the sides of my face, holding me in our lip-locked position, but I shook my head free.

“What do you want?” he asked, breathlessly.

It put him on edge, to let me dictate. But he was willing to try, and it gratified me immensely. Though he hadn’t given me his trust in other areas, he was giving it to me here. That was a big step for him and, though a huge part of me wanted to let him take me in the way he wanted, I remained committed to the role reversal because of how much it meant for both of us to try.

But in answer to his question, I was at a loss. What did I want? “Touch my breasts,” I said, finally.

Hudson slipped his hands inside the silk of my halter-top. With a flick of his thumbs, my nipples became stone, my breasts heavy and sensitive as he squeezed them in his firm hands.

I bent down to lick at his lips, but he ducked his head to my bosom instead. Pulling down the material of my nightie, he took the tip of my breast into his mouth. He sucked and tugged at my nipple causing a shallow cry to escape from my throat. “Hudson, oh, god.”

A hand slipped under the thin lace of my panties and grazed my * on the way to the hot opening of my p-ssy. Releasing my nipple from his mouth he said, “You’re already so wet, precious.” He licked lightly across the tip and I shuddered. “Shall I put my fingers inside you? Tell me.”

Hudson was so good at turning my mind to mush, my body pliable under his hands. I gave into the pleasure he could give me, but on my terms. “I want your cock inside me.” I spoke softly, not quite at ease with saying the words.

He smiled, but didn’t move to take me up on my request. Instead he suckled on my other breast eliciting an involuntary moan from me. Then he said, “But you aren’t ready for me, precious.”

“I’m ready enough.” I was more forceful this time. “I want to ride you.”

A flash of desire crossed his face. In one swift move, he ripped the sides of my panties open, pulled the torn material out from under me and threw it aside. I shivered at his primal act, lust rushing through my veins like wildfire. Desperate to have him, to possess him, I scooted back to balance myself over him. I took his gorgeous thick penis in my hand and lifted the head to my wet entrance, my arousal fueled further when his cock throbbed in my grasp.

“I can’t imagine why I deserve this,” Hudson said hoarsely, splaying his hands over my breasts. “I should be rewarding you for your very believable girlfriend act today.”

I stilled. His comment stung, but I wasn’t sure if it should. Was he reminding me the day had been pretend? Or was he trying to elicit a reaction from me? Was he putting his guard up, refusing to let any emotions into our relationship?


Or maybe he felt nothing of what I thought he felt, and his words were simply a statement of what he saw as an accurate representation of our day.

No, it wasn’t true. I believed with all my heart that something more had developed between both of us. He may not be able to admit it to me, or even to himself, but I knew. I knew.

I slid down onto his pulsing cock, taking him in with a gasp. He was right—I wasn’t fully prepared, and he felt full and big inside. I squirmed, trying to ease the bite of discomfort as I worked him in deeper. Hudson placed his hand flat along the middle of my torso and pushed me to lean back. The angle opened me and I glided down to his root.

“F*ck,” he groaned. “You’re so tight, Alayna. So good.”

I lifted my hips, raising myself up his length before lowering again.

Hudson shifted beneath me, churning his hips, eager to direct the pace, but I kept my steady speed as I slid smoothly up and down his steely erection. His hands moved on me restlessly, wandering from my breasts to my thighs to my hips before he finally settled one flat on my stomach and circled his thumb on my * with a delicious firm pressure.

“God, oh, god,” I cried, squeezing and clenching around him. The exquisite feeling of his cock skimming against my vaginal walls combined with the expert attention he was giving my tender bud drove me mad. I was on the edge, near orgasm, though not quite able to get the release I longed for. Tears formed in my eyes and sweat beaded on my skin.

“I’m happy, Hudson. You’ve made me happy.” I couldn’t stop myself from telling him, my words mixed with throaty moans.

Under heavy lids, his eyes pierced mine, glowing with the intense need to f*ck. They widened at my declaration, a new spark lighting the dark desire already held there.

“And I’ve made you happy too.” It spilled from my mouth like I wished my elusive orgasm would. I sensed the warning in Hudson’s face, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying more. “We’re falling in love. This is us, falling in love.”

“Enough.” In a flash, he flipped me underneath him, maintaining our connection at the groin. He bent my legs at the knees and pushed them back while he plunged into me, pummeling me with a drive that fought to tear me apart. In that position he struck me deep, deeper than he’d ever been. He meant to punish me for my words—for knowing he’d connected with me. But the punishment only acknowledged I was right.

And in that finding, combined with his maddening thrusts, I lost everything to him, coming so violently that my body seized, quivering uncontrollably beneath him.

Hudson continued to ram into me, hitting the very end of me with each stroke until I came again. This time he joined me, burying his cock even deeper as he released, my core milking him while he spurted long and hot.

When we’d both stilled, he rolled off of me and fell hard into the bed at my side. Without words, he pulled me into the crook of his arm, closed his eyes, and went to sleep.

I tightened into his embrace. Usually he cuddled longer, and stroked and caressed me before falling asleep. But I’d challenged him in more ways than one that night. He needed time to process. At least he was still holding me at all. That had to be a good sign.

It took longer before I was taken by sleep, but when it finally came, I slept deep and peacefully.

In the morning, I awoke alone, but despite remembering that Celia would visit today, I felt happy. Until I went to the closet to get an outfit and found my belongings the only occupants.

Hudson’s clothes and suitcase were gone.





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