“Bees leave you alone if you leave them alone. I’m sure there’s a way to study them quietly while they … gather nectar or whatever.”
Rowan looked at her like she was insane. “Most people who encounter the Hive are never heard from again. There are two kinds that we know of—Workers and Warrior Sisters. I’ve seen a few of the Workers. They just look like large bees, but the Sisters are different. I think I saw one from a distance once, but I didn’t stick around to study her, Lily. No one does. If you see any member of the Pack or the Hive, your best bet is to run.”
“So, no one knows anything about them?”
“We know that the Pack and the Hive are more organized—but no one knows why, exactly. The theory is the Pack adapted so they can coordinate to hunt buffalo. The Hive is just…” He trailed off and swallowed hard. “You just run.”
Lily could tell Rowan didn’t want to talk about the Woven anymore. She leaned closer to him with a warm smile to coax him out of his dark thoughts. “About that. You hunted bison on the Great Plains? On horseback?”
Rowan shrugged. “How else are you going to do it? Buffalo are fast.”
God, that’s so hot.
Right, Juliet? Wait—you just—
“You just did it!” Lily squealed out loud. “You figured out mindspeak!”
“I did! And you heard me, even though I didn’t mean for you to,” Juliet said, her exuberance dampening. “That’s pretty terrifying. My thoughts are, like, out in the open now, aren’t they?”
Rowan met Lily’s eyes and grinned. “You’ll get better at controlling it, Juliet,” he said, eyes sparkling. “But there’s always that chance a thought will sneak out when your guard is down. A clear conscience is your best defense when you share mind space with a witch.”
Lily suddenly darted forward and kissed Rowan—partly because she wanted to, but mostly to distract him. If he looked hard enough, he’d easily see that her conscience was anything but clear.
So I can kiss you in front of your family, Lily?
We’ll make it up as we go along, Rowan.
Lily looked down at her plate, her appetite gone, while the rest of her family chatted happily with one another. None of them had anything to hide, but she did. Rowan gave of himself entirely, but she had secrets. She had Lillian in the back of her mind and a burning need to know more about her, no matter how much it hurt Rowan. In that moment Lily realized that Rowan was a better person than she was. She had to make sure he never found that out.
*
That night, Lily tossed and turned. Guilt kept her awake—guilt and temptation. She thought of what she was already hiding from Rowan, and as midnight came and went and she felt Rowan fall into a deep dreamless sleep, she somehow convinced herself that one more secret wouldn’t make that much of a difference.
Lillian? Did Rowan bring the shaman to the Citadel?
He did. And the shaman told my mother that she had a talent that not many women have. Women gifted with power are almost always crucibles, and the best crucibles become witches. But she was a farseer. She could see into other worlds, like the male shaman can, which is very rare. He told me that I had that ability, too, and that it would get stronger as I got older. He also told me that if I didn’t learn to control it I would end up like my mother.
Terrifying.
It was, Lily. I was so scared of becoming like her I didn’t tell anyone what he’d told me. I didn’t want anyone to think I was sick-minded, you know?
Yes, I know, Lillian. Sometimes I look at Mom and I see so much about us that’s similar. All I can do is hope that I don’t turn out like her. I’m ashamed that I think that.
I was ashamed, too. Which is why I started training with the shaman in secret. I didn’t even tell Rowan.
Show me another memory. I won’t tell Rowan. I promise.