She was waiting for some kind of absolution. Lily didn’t give it because she couldn’t lie in mindspeak.
“Don’t let the Workers sting you,” Dana shouted. “I hear that they don’t always decide to kill, but when they do, I know for a fact that they only have to sting you once.” She looked directly at Caleb. “That I’ve seen for myself.”
Dana turned back around and focused on the road ahead of her.
Caleb heaved a breath. “This will leave only fifteen of us,” he said. “Fifteen to get all the way to your California.”
“One of those fifteen is Lily,” her Tristan said defiantly. He raised his voice. “You think you can make it back to the cities without a witch?” He raised his voice even louder so that those already riding away could hear. “You’ll all be dead in a week without her!”
“Tristan,” Lily said, reaching out to take him by the arm. He shook her off and stormed away.
“That went well,” she muttered to herself, rolling her eyes.
“Give him some time,” Caleb said.
“What else can I do? He’s pretty much the only one left who believes in me. Even you don’t believe in what I’m trying to do,” Lily said.
She wasn’t accusing Caleb, just stating a fact. Caleb had made it clear that he didn’t agree with Lily about the Woven. As far as he was concerned, they were worse than animals and there was no way they’d ever be able to coexist with the Outlanders.
“I don’t need to believe you in order to follow you,” Caleb replied.
Lily gave him a baffled look as she turned his words over in her head. “Nope, that actually makes no sense, Caleb.”
He laughed and looked down at his hands, thinking of a better way to put it. “You could have made those braves stay. You could have forced them by taking control of their minds and bodies, but you didn’t even think of doing that, did you?”
“Of course not,” Lily whispered, remembering how it felt to be paralyzed and thrown in a cage—and remembering that there were still things she wasn’t willing to do. “It’s wrong.”
“The witch I had before I left the Citadel? She used to possess me for fun. Just to prove she had power over me,” Caleb said. “Alaric has power in those bombs, and he hid them from us so he could use them without putting it to a vote. You’re the best leader I’ve ever had.” He paused before adding one more thing. “And you’re nothing like Lillian.”
Some door that had been shut tight unlocked in Lily, and she leaned her forehead against Caleb’s chest. “Why can’t Rowan see that?” Lily replied, a sob escaping from her mid-sentence.
Caleb took it in stride. He let her lean into him, crying tears that seemed to scrape her raw as they came out. He said soothing things that didn’t impart any wisdom or change what Lily felt, but that comforted her nonetheless. He talked about how much he missed Elias and Lily only cried harder. So many had been lost in this war, and she knew the dying wasn’t done yet. When Lily finally heaved her last sigh, Caleb looked at her and frowned in thought.
“Not that I’m trying to bring up Rowan and get you crying again,” he began cautiously, “but something’s always bothered me about how we left things with him.”
“Me too,” Lily said ironically as she dabbed at her leaky eyes.
“No, what I mean is how we got away with you.” Caleb picked up a stick and started drawing in the dirt around the fire. “So it was me, Tristan, and your Tristan who went to Rowan’s tent to get your willstones back. Rowan’s tent was in the middle of camp.” He drew an X in the middle of a circle. “We woke Rowan up trying to get your willstones from around his neck and he knocked my Tristan unconscious before he was even out of bed. I jumped in and we went at it. Then Rowan knocked me out.”