“You should eat,” her Tristan said softly.
Lily looked up at him and realized that everyone else was asleep around the fire. She’d lost track of how long she’d been sitting there.
“Really. Finish your food,” Tristan urged. He sat down next to her.
She picked up her bowl and swallowed what was in front of her without bothering to taste it.
“I’ll keep watch,” Lily told him when she had finished.
“You need to sleep,” he replied.
She tilted her lips into a bitter smile. “I won’t be sleeping for a long time so I may as well make myself useful. I’ll wake you if something comes.”
Tristan lay down next to her. He stared up at her, worried. “I’m sorry about Rowan,” he said. He reached out and laid a hand on her wrist, trying to comfort her. “I’m so sorry he hurt you.”
“Go to sleep,” Lily replied, her eyes scanning the trees.
Eventually, Tristan fell asleep and Lily was finally alone. She needed answers, and there was only one person who could give them to her.
You used me, Lillian. You had Carrick follow us from my world. Was it because you knew Rowan would take me right to Alaric?
I wanted a man Alaric never lets out of his sight. Hakan, the builder. He knows how to disarm the bombs, and he knows where most of them are. Carrick gave me Hakan, and now I know what Hakan knows.
I can’t believe it. I didn’t have to say anything to Rowan. I lost him for nothing.
I didn’t tell you to tell him, Lily. In fact, I was very careful to never disturb you with my memories when Rowan was near. I didn’t want him to accidentally pick up on my presence. I didn’t want you to lose him.
Then why have me come back here at all, Lillian, if not to argue your side? You said that was the whole point of showing me your memories!
Yes, I need you on my side, and that’s why I showed you my memories. But I never wanted you to tell anyone. In fact, I told you not to.
If you don’t want me to argue for you, then why do you need me, Lillian? Why did you kill my father to get me to come back here?
Have you been paying attention to anything I showed you? The shaman told me that no one knows where all the bombs are—I don’t even think Alaric knows. But you claimed an army of Outlanders, Lily. Some combination of all those minds must know something. I forced you to come back to this world first to lead me to Hakan, who is one of the three people who know how to disarm them, and now I need you in this world so you can go into the minds of your claimed and find the bombs that Hakan can’t locate.
Alaric said that he was careful about who he allowed me to claim. He said none of my braves even know about the bombs.
It doesn’t matter what they think they know. Use your claimed to make a mind mosaic. Someone has seen something, even if they don’t know what that something is. Find all the suspicious carriages and tell me where they are. Your claimed don’t even have to know you’re in their minds.
I just have to violate the privacy of thousands of people who trust me. That’s despicable, Lillian.
But it will end the war. Do you want to be the good guy, or do you want to save lives?
I think I hate you more now than ever.
Think of how much you’ll hate yourself if even one of those bombs goes off. Think of all the people who are going to die because you’re too squeamish to do something you find despicable. Haven’t you learned yet? Someone has to be the villain so everyone else can stay alive. Think of the one thing you would never do—that’s what you’ll have to do in order to end this war. It’s what I had to do.