“Biding my time, Rex. Night’s still young and full of possibility.”
“I don’t get it.” Baywatch’s voice is laced with disapproval. “Those chicks were hot. And you just… walked away.”
“Blake’s got selective taste. He’s always blowing off the hot ones for the hotter ones.” Rex laughs and takes a pull off his beer. The groupies at his side seem to have taken on a sudden interest in our conversation.
“What’s your secret?” New guy steps up, genuine curiosity in his eyes. But fuck, what’s his name?
“You want to know my secret, Baywatch?” I’m totally fucking with this guy. There is no secret.
Truth is, I have no clue why nailing chicks is easy. It might have something to do with the fact that I only go for the ones who may as well have a bright green “Enter” sign hanging from their belt loops. I don’t like a challenge. The easier, the better. Taking a chick out on a date and investing time in getting to know her is not how I operate. Sure, even some of the easier girls can get clingy, but I make it clear it’s only about the sex. If they hold on to ideas about having a future with me, that’s their problem.
Fact is, a decent looking guy who can’t get any play is probably humping up the wrong tree.
“Fuck, yeah.” Baywatch nods and—is he taking notes?
Caleb laughs. “This shit ought to be good.”
“Okay.” I flag down the bartender for a beer and turn to my eager student. “When you come to a place like this, what’re you looking for?”
He slides his gaze to a group of girls at the bar. “Meet girls.”
“Ah-ha.” I point in his face. “There it is. To meet girls.” Shaking my head, I lean back against the bar. “That’s your problem.”
Baywatch drops his shoulders. “That’s it? That doesn’t even make sense.” He throws his arms out. “Every guy here is out to meet girls.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. Me? I’m here to find a chick… or two… who I can take home and bang until I pass out from dehydration.”
His eyebrows pinch together. “What’s the difference?”
“The difference, young Hasselhoff, is that meeting girls implies time. Buying her a drink, asking her about her fucking job, learning that she has a sister in Chicago she hasn’t seen since Christmas, and having to listen to her talk about her ex-boyfriend and how he broke her innocent little heart.”
“So what you’re saying is I should just walk up to a girl and tell her I’m interested in meaningless sex for one night? That works?”
“Dude, have you been listening to a single word I’ve said?” I slug back half my fresh beer. I’m giving this guy valuable information, and he’s only picking up on the outline. “No, you compliment her. Make her feel like the sexiest woman in the room. Don’t ask her about her life. You don’t really care, and women are smart as shit. They pick up on your insincerity. Give her the fantasy.”
I give the novice a second to absorb the chick-getting info-bomb I dropped in his lap. Rex, Caleb, and the other guys from the band all watch—Mason! That’s his name.
“And that works?” His face is screwed tight.
“No. After you give her the fantasy, then you tell her you want to take her home and do things to her body that will make her scream so loud she’ll lose her voice.”
The guys all bust up laughing, but a few girls in the groupie-huddle inch closer to me. My eyes lock on a hot redhead. Her shy smile is a total front. She’s down for a good time.
I take her in from her fuck-me heels to her fake tits. She’ll do. I motion for her to come closer, and she complies. Damn, I dig a woman who’ll obey.
“Your tricks won’t work on me,” she purrs, sliding her cocktail straw between her lips.
“My tricks, huh? I only play games in one place, and that’s by invitation only.”
She runs her teeth along her lower lip. Yeah, she wants the invite. In the mood to have a little fun, I decide I’m going to make her beg for it. I turn my back on her, happy to see another girl, this one with blond hair and long legs.
“Damn, you’re fucking gorgeous,” I say, making sure to keep my eyes locked on hers.
She ducks her chin and smiles. “Thank you.”
Easy. This girl clearly isn’t used to being complimented.
I run my finger along her arm from shoulder to wrist and smile at her responding shiver. “What’s your name?”
“Faye.” She smiles, flashing the silver from a tongue piercing, and takes a pull from her cocktail straw.
“Well, fuck me.” Literally. “What’s a girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”
She bursts into laughter, and I tug her to me.
Bitches in a barrel.
I turn back and see Mason with his mouth wide open and his arms hanging at his sides. Rex, Caleb, and the guys are all nodding and laughing.
Happy New Year to me, motherfuckers.
*