She locks her legs around my hips and cries out my name. Her fingernails dig into my biceps, and she convulses beneath me, around me, so much so I feel it in my damn blood.
Need takes over and I barrel into her. My guts get tight. Nausea rolls through my stomach. I swallow it back and fight the urge to stay in the moment.
Her body falls limp beneath mine. My orgasm threatens and I’m helpless to stop it. My eyes pinch shut and I bite my lip. White flashes behind my eyes. My release explodes from my body. Fuck!
I’m dizzy; a wave of euphoria robs my muscles of the strength to hold up my weight. I drop to her body, heaving against her bare breast. I wait for the surge of vomit, for the urgent rush to purge my body of the ugly. Seconds pass, and nothing.
She holds me tight; her fingers dance a path up and down my spine. “Rex, I . . . Are you good?”
Am I good? I blow out a long breath and do a quick mental check. All systems are go. No vomit on the horizon. “I think I am. You?”
I look up and a slow sated smile curls her lips. “I definitely am.”
“You’re amazing.” I brush her sexy-as-hell sexed-up hair from her face.
She grins wide and covers her face. A giggle bubbles up from behind her hand.
I smile at her lighthearted laugh, still amazed that I’m not getting sick. “’Lotta bad things have happened to me after sex, baby, but being laughed at ain’t one of them.” I bury my face into her neck and absorb the vibration against my lips.
“I’m sorry; it’s not funny. I just”—she sucks in a breath—“I don’t remember the last time I was this happy.”
“Mmm.” I run my lips up and down the side of her neck, taking in her scent.
Still connected, she wraps her legs around my waist and locks her ankles. The move restricts me, clamping me to her, holding me in place. A ghost of panic slides up my spine but fails to take shape. I’m safe. She won’t hurt me. My shoulders relax with the freedom of accomplishment. Battle after battle won in the war for my future. All when I’m with her.
All because of her.
“Rex?” No more laughter in her voice, the breathy way she says my name fires my blood. She rolls her hips, grinding against me.
My body jolts to life, standing at attention and ready to fight another battle. Confident, stronger and more capable than ever before.
I nip her earlobe. “You’re not finished with me.”
“Never.”
Seventeen
New beginnings
Past is gone.
Future possibilities
We can’t go wrong.
--Ataxia
Rex
It’s dark in Mac’s room. Our naked bodies are tangled together on top of her comforter. The room is quiet except for the sound of soft breathing at my ear.
Did she fall asleep? I don’t know how long we’ve been like this. My head’s been all over the place with what happened tonight. I took the time to learn her body so intimately that when we finally got to having sex it wasn’t the violent crash of meaningless fucking that I’m used to. It was something else completely.
It was Earth-shifting shit, the kind that leaves me a different man than I was when I walked in this room.
I never thought I’d have the things I have with her. And even though the visions and the shame ride me hard when we’re like this, her presence dulls their effect. Most of my life sex made me sick, so I avoided it or shared it with someone who didn’t mean anything. But being with someone who means something makes it better.
Thinking about it now, it seems so logical. I mean look at Blake and Jonah. Those guys went from a lifetime of playboy-hood to freakin’ marriage proposals, all because they hooked up with a good woman.
If the girls were their cure, is it possible Mac could be mine?
Could I be with her on a regular basis? Dinner dates, movie nights?
A slow smile pulls at my lips. Hell yeah, I could.
“Mac, baby?” I kiss her head, and she peeks up at me in the dark. “You sleeping?”
“Nah, just thinking.” She kisses my chest.
“About kicking my ass out of your bed?” I don’t think I could leave her now if she asked me to.
“No, the opposite, actually.”
Just when my chest can’t get any warmer, feel any fuller, it does. “Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I tell you what. Let me hit the head real quick. We’ll crawl under this kick-ass comforter and you can tell me all about the opposite while I hold your naked ass in my hand.” Yep, no onset of the pukes. Amazing.
A deep laugh rumbles in her chest and dammit to hell that shit is sexy. “Sounds perfect.”
She moves to free herself from my hold, but my arms convulse around her. “Wait up.”
Her body falls back into place with mine. She’s quiet.
“About tonight, I know that wasn’t the sweetest experience for you. I uh . . .” I exhale and try to say what I need to say while sparing my dignity. “It’ll get better. With time, I think I’ll get better.” The sex was amazing; it’s the me-getting-better part I hope she gets.