My stomach hums with a flash of adrenaline. “Excuse me?”
Her body crumbles in on itself, and the light ringing sound of her laughter fills the air. What the hell? She puts her hand on her chest and blows a long breath from her lips, her eyes still dancing with humor. “I’m sorry. You should’ve seen your face.” Shaking her head, she turns back to her pizza.
“Comedian. Hilarious.” I grin through my sarcasm. The girl’s a little strange, funny, but definitely off.
“No, I came to Vegas to find peace.”
“In Vegas? This place is the definition of uncontrolled chaos.”
She opens her water and leans back in her chair, eyes forward, quiet. “Yeah, makes my search harder.”
“I take it you haven’t found it?”
It’s then her eyes find mine; a small smile tilts her lips. “Not yet.”
If it were only that easy to find peace, you could take up stakes and move somewhere new, leaving behind the shit you don’t feel like carrying. Too bad all baggage isn’t carry on. Some of it latches on whether you want to bring it or not. I’m living proof of that, but I keep my mouth shut, leaving Mac to discover that on her own. Although, if her nightmares are any indication, my guess is she’s already learned it.
“Where’d you move from?” I take a swig of my shake.
She puts down her pizza and looks at me. “You’re not having any?”
“Nope. Dropping weight. Fight this weekend.”
Her face pales. “Fight?”
“Yeah. UFL ninety-four. I’m on the ticket with Blake.”
Her hand moves to cup her neck. She swallows hard. “Do you um . . . do you have to?”
Is she kidding? “Yeah, Mac, I have to. It’s my job, not to mention a great opportunity and smart career move.” I laugh, shaking my head. Why does she look so nervous? “You should come.”
Eyes wide, she gapes at me. “Yes, er . . . no?”
Leaning in, I rest my elbow on the counter. “Yes and no?”
Nervous laughter bubbles from her throat. “No, I don’t want you to fight, but yes, I’ll go.”
“Don’t want me to fight?”
“I, uh”—she studies her knees—“hate watching you get hurt.”
She must’ve seen my fights in the past, but the last fight I had on live TV was over a year ago before she moved to Vegas. Which reminds me, she never answered my question.
“Where did you live before Vegas, Mac?” I can’t place the feeling, but something feels off. My therapist would probably tell me that having a person in my home for a prolonged period of time is bound to make me a little paranoid.
Paranoia is something I’m used to, the feeling that eyes are on me even in my own place. Mac said she’s been watching me, but damn, for how long?
“Nothing,” she whispers.
“Huh?”
She turns to face me completely. “Before here, I lived in Nothing, Arizona.”
No fucking way? That’s the last place I lived before Vegas. It’s nothing more than a town you drive through between Kingman and Vegas. What are the chances that Mac lived there too?
I shrug, acting casual, and finish off my shake. “That town as boring as its name?” I can’t tell her that I lived there too. She’ll ask questions, and the only answers I have are not anything I want to share with anyone. Ever.
“You’ve never been there?” It’s a question, but something about the way she asks makes it seem like something else.
“Why would I ever need to visit a place called Nothing, Arizona?”
“Yeah, um.” She shakes her head, picks up her pizza and brings it to her lips. “I guess you wouldn’t.”
After Mac finishes another piece of pizza, I clean up the kitchen. She offers to help, but I need to do it on my own to alleviate the anxiety that hums below the surface.
She sits at the island. We talk about The Blackout and exchange crazy stories about Trix. I make sure to stick to subjects of the present and don’t probe too far in the past. By the time I’m drying my hands, Mac’s doubled over laughing and I’m leaning back enjoying the view.
“She walked out buck naked and asked for a smoke?” The wide mouth grin she’s wearing is contagious.
“Yep, didn’t even seem fazed.” God, I can’t take my eyes off her.
“Wow, that’s upsetting, but strangely not at all surprising.” She must sense me staring as her laughter dies and our eyes meet.
“I had fun with you today.” It’s not a lie. I did. It’s been so long since I had a day that wasn’t focused on the band, fighting, or all the other shit that rolls around in my head. Not to mention the victory I’m feeling at going out with Mac and having her over in the same day. Guess Darren was right. I am capable of more than I think.
“Me too.”