My chest aches as I consider what I do. It never used to ache. Back before Hatch took off and I was closer to my end game, I would’ve done anything back then. Information is a powerful thing, especially when it brings vindication.
Every day that Hatch is gone, I feel further and further away from finding Lana’s killer. I start to forget why I’m here, why I take off my clothes for strangers, slip into backrooms and perform things I’m even ashamed to admit to myself. And the more I forget, the more it aches. Like my soul is pushing me to quit. To move on and start living my life. Not the life of a girl on a mission. Not the life of a girl who has been playing a role for so long she’s completely forgotten who she is.
The music rings throughout the room and the crowd cheers. Rex announces that he’ll be back, and I push back from the bar with the stack of Zeus’s promo cards in hand.
“Let’s go.” I motion to Angel, who has her stack in hand as well. “I’ll meet you in the middle.” I move on heeled feet, making sure to take short steps due to my very short and very tight skirt.
I’ve had a drink, but not enough to be tipsy. Technically, we’re on the job, making a commission off every card that comes back to Zeus’s. I spot a group of guys up front and approach, smiling big and batting my eyelashes. They each take a card and promise to come in the following night. Score!
Table by table I hit up the crowd, both men and women. When I meet back up with Angel, I have only half the cards I started with, and it looks like she had similar luck.
“You want to stay for the last set?” We drove from work together, and my car is back at Zeus’s. As much as I’d like to call it a night, I’m at her mercy.
“Yeah, if that’s okay with you.”
Ugh. “Sure.”
“Let’s go backstage and leave some cards.” She moves to the side of the stage and I follow. “Hey, Brick.” She greets the bouncer that got his nickname from the fact that he looks like a brick with a head. “We’ve got business backstage.”
His eyes move up and down our bodies, and we wait until he’s finished visually stripping us. “I bet you do.”
“Brick, cut the crap.” I don’t have the patience for this tonight. Usually I’d flirt, and get off on making the man eat out of my hand, but now I just want to hurry this night along and get home.
What if Mason shows up?
No, I refuse to think about that guy any more than I have, which is a lot. And if I count one very hot and steamy dream, it’s a ton. Damn, is it warm in here? I use the cards to fan myself just as Brick crosses his arms over his chest.
“Sure, you girls can go on back, but what’re you going to do for me?” His eyebrows jump, and I swear if I didn’t think I’d break my hand I’d punch him square in the gut.
“Brick! They’re good.” Gia comes up beside me and pulls me in for a quick hug, an empty cocktail tray in her hand. She shoves the huge bouncer in the shoulder. “You can let them back. And stop sexually harassing my customers.”
I laugh at the expression of the big man as he pouts and steps aside to let us through.
We wave a thank you to Gia and move down the long corridor, the sound of our heels clicking echoes off the black concrete walls. We’ve been back here so many times we’d be able to find the room in the dark, and have, several times. I pinch closed my eyes at the shame that washes over me an instant before I shove it away, refusing to examine it.
Without knocking, we push open the door and step inside the backstage room. The band is there, surprisingly without a single woman.
“Thank fuck some chicks showed up.” Talon groans and points at us with one of his sticks. “I swear your woman is out there chasing off all the groupies.” He’s looking at Rex.
Rex gives us a quick nod and a lip-ringed smile. “Fine by me.”
Lane’s face twists in offense. “Real nice, dude. Fuckin’ sausage party in this place.”
“Aww, poor Lane has to actually work to get laid now,” Angel says sarcastically with a pouty lip.
“As long as you’re here, baby”—Talon leans back in his seat, a beer bottle hooked by his fingers, legs open, and visually molesting me—“come sit on my lap.”
That fucking ache in my chest flares. “As attractive as that offer is, I’ll pass.” I hold up a short stack of cards. “We just came to drop these off. Hand them out to whoever or don’t. No biggie.”
Heat hits my back, and two big hands come around my middle. “Come on, Trix.” Lane, that asshole. The way he embarrassed me the other day in front of Mason, I could’ve killed him. “You used to be fun.”
“And you used to be charming.” I try to pull away, but his grip only gets tighter. “Let me go, Lane.”
“Lane.” Rex glares at his guitar player. “You heard her, man.”
“She likes it.” His hand slides up to cup my breast. “She just won’t admit it.”
Rex stands, and I slam my elbow into Lane’s gut.
He releases me to double over, and his arms wrap around his belly. “What . . . the fuck . . .?”
I prop a hand on my cocked hip. “I did like that, Lane. Thank you.”