“Just think about it, okay?” The hurt in her voice sounds of disappointment, which tightens my chest.
I nod and avoid her eyes until she gets the hint and grabs her shit to leave me to my pity. God, I’m pathetic. First Jessica, now Eve. Hell, my own mother cheated on my law-abiding dad with a fucking criminal. Sooner or later I’m going to need to suck it up and get the hell over it.
“Keep your head down!” Rex is holding the pads, absorbing every punch I throw, which isn’t too hard since I’m exhausted. “Come on, Baywatch! Leave it all on the mats.”
I growl and throw a left, a right, a left, then drop my hands. “Done.” My breath saws in quick bursts. “I’m . . . beat.”
“Alright.” He drops the pads. “Good job. I think we can call it a day.”
“Thank God.” I rip off my gloves and toss them to the side of the cage and grab my water.
“You’re with Wade tomorrow for sparring. Take it easy tonight, and try to shake off that shitty attitude.”
“No clue what you’re talkin’ about, man—ouch! Fuck!” I rub the back of my head where Rex whacked me. “What was that for?”
He faces off with me, his expression serious. “It’s been almost a year.”
I turn and scoop up my gloves, prepared to end this convo ASAP. “I don’t know what you’re getting at, but—ow!” I rub the back of my head again. “Stop fucking doing that!”
“You keep lying to me; I’ll keep hitting you.”
I exhale hard and consider what to say next that’ll save my noggin from another open palm slap. “I’m over it. I am.”
Rex’s hand flies, but this time I duck.
“Fine! Okay, fine. I’m pissed, alright! I don’t get it. Cameron fucked her up, and she crawled back to him, begging. Makes no sense. She’s smart and beautiful and . . .”
“Do you still want her?”
Yes! Well, not really, I mean . . . do I? I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
He tilts his head and pulls at his lower lip that is usually hooked with a silver ring. “So it’s not losing the girl that’s pissing you off; it’s coming in second place you can’t get over.”
No. That doesn’t even make any sense. Yet somewhere deep in my gut it makes perfect sense. “That’s stupid.”
“Is it? You’re competitive. You have to be to get where you are today. You lost to the underdog, and that shit’s been festering for a year.”
I blink and shake my head. Fuck, is that all this is? I’m completely over Jessica. Those feelings from high school fizzled out after I found out she was fucking my brother. And although I’d hoped for more with Eve, I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me.
Am I a better man than Drake, better than Cameron? Yeah. So all this is my bitch ass throwing a fit because Eve chose a guy who isn’t as good for her as I know I would’ve been?
He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Take my advice, bro. Move on. Suck it up. Cut your losses.”
“Yeah . . . maybe you’re right.”
“If you end up fighting Li, you’re going to get international attention in a major way. You’ll need to focus, give two hundred percent of yourself if you want a chance at winning. The dude is out of your league.”
“Thanks a-fuckin’ lot.”
He shoves my shoulder. “This isn’t a joke, Baywatch. Don’t let something like hurt feelings get in the way and fuck up how far you’ve come.”
I glare at him, wondering when the hell he got so damn smart. “What’re you? The love doctor?”
“Fuck yeah, I am.” He smiles, and I twitch with the urge to throat punch him. “You still on for poker night?”
No. Maybe. “I don’t know.”
“Alright, well . . . let me know. Lane and Wade are in. If you’re not, I’ll get Talon.”
I nod and shove out of the octagon and to the locker room chanting “I am a whiny ass bitch” over and over because everything Rex just said rang true.
I’m just a sore fucking loser.
Great.
Trix
It’s just past five when I pull into the back lot at Zeus’s for my shift. My phone tucked between my ear and shoulder, I grab my purse and push the long wet strands of my hair back off my face.
“Did Isaac make the varsity team?” My weekly call home to my folks happened later than usual because of my little brother’s football tryouts.
“We won’t know until later in the week, but you should’ve seen him. He did so well. I don’t doubt that he—oh, hold on. What is it, honey?” I hear the muffled sound of my mom pressing the phone to her chest, as she always does when our conversations get interrupted, which is often with five kids in the house.
“Mom, I’ll let you go.” I push out of my car and hope like hell no one notices I’m late.
“Leah wants to talk to you, is that okay?” My mom is the sweetest woman I’ve ever known, kind and gentle, gracious and loving, and she has the patience of a saint.