Fear Us

“Keenan, come now and see my draw.” She pouted.

I don’t know how she did it, but just like that, I caved. I couldn’t let my little girl be unhappy, could I? I would kill anyone who tried so I had to live by it.

I worked the sheet around my waist, careful to hide my hard-on and took her by her hand. I could feel Sheldon’s eyes on me and heard her laughing just before I shut the bedroom door.

“Lead the way.”

I followed after her and into the living room. At first, I didn’t see it, but the faint red coloring on the wall from one of the markers I used to sketch caught my eye. She ran to the spot and pointed, excitement lighting up her face. It was just a bunch of lines and shapes, but to me, it was the greatest creation in the world. Never mind the deposit that I wouldn’t be getting back.

“Pretty?” she asked.

“It’s beautiful.” I thought about it long and hard before asking, “What is it?”

“Mama… me… you.”

A sudden indrawn breath shifted my attention from Kennedy and her wall of art to her horrified mother standing behind me and covered in my dress shirt. She looked ready to collapse. I crossed the short distance between us and pulled her into my chest by the back of her neck.

“Does that scare you?” I whispered against her neck. She nodded against my chest but remained silent. Kennedy tugged on the sheet wrapped around my waist.

“Mama sad?”

I scooped her up and made room for her between us. She rubbed her mother’s head and then frowned when she didn’t lift her head. When her lips started to tremble, I felt my temper rise. “No, baby. She’s not sad. Isn’t that right, mommy?”

The warning in my tone finally convinced her to lift her head from where she was crying softly against my chest. She smiled brightly at Kennedy, and though it was forced, it seemed to appease her.

“Are you hungry?” Sheldon turned her teary gaze on me and only after a second too long did she reluctantly nod. “What about you, mini me?”

“Keenan,” Sheldon scolded. My reference to Kennedy being mine went over her head, so I ignored Sheldon’s warning and set Kennedy on her feet once more.

“I want cereal.”

“Cereal, huh? What kind do you like?” She rattled off an entire list of cereals long enough to include every cereal in the world, but somehow, never listed a single flavor I had. “How about pancakes?”

“Yes, please and cereal, too?”

I looked to Sheldon for help, but she only shrugged and said, “It’s one of her favorites.”

I went back to the bedroom and quickly dressed in sweatpants before leading them into the kitchen. Kennedy babbled a mile a minute about everything under the sun while I cooked. I never knew until now how kids questioned everything they saw. When I was finished, I spooned the food onto the plates and carried them to the table where Sheldon blew raspberries in Kennedy’s neck.

While she was preoccupied, I took the opportunity to do the same to Sheldon’s whose neck was exposed. She jumped in surprise and Kennedy laughed outrageously.

“Daddy, silly.”

I stiffened at the sound of the word, and I could tell without looking that Sheldon had the same reaction. I finally mustered some motion and turned to face Kennedy’s bright grin shining toward me. She squealed and clamped her hand over her mouth as if she’d just told some big secret.

“Did you tell her?” Sheldon’s accusation only served to piss me off before I could revel in the idea that my kid knew who I was.

“No, I didn’t but does it matter? I am her father unless there is something you’d like to tell me.” I knew it was bullshit as soon as I uttered the words, but I wanted to strike back. Kennedy was mine. Every single inch of her was me.

“She can’t know.”

“It looks like she does,” I smugly replied.

“She’s three, Keenan. It means nothing.” Her eyes flashed deviously when she sat back in her seat and crossed her arms. “She thought Keiran was her father once too, you know. Right around the time she began to talk…” The smile that appeared on her lips hurt worse than the bullets that almost took my life.

I counted the seconds it took me to realize that what I thought I heard her say was real.

I wanted the anger.

I wanted to rage.

I wanted blood.

But all I could feel was devastation.

Kennedy had known someone else as her father.

So where did that leave me?

“Get out.” She flinched at my command, and if my daughter had not sat watching, I would have thrown her out on her ass.

“I’m not leaving without my daughter.”

“Fine. Then get out of my sight before I lose what little control I have left and snap your neck.”

“Don’t talk like that around my daughter.”

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