Faster We Burn

chapter Twenty-five

Stryker

Katie and I spent the next few hours alternating between getting closer and eating the rest of the ice cream Lottie had stocked up on, and sometimes combining the two, which was the most fun.

“How long do you think it’s going to take to wash this off?” The marker had faded from her skin a little, but she was still a walking, talking canvas. “I would like to leave this room at some point and rejoin the world.”

“Why? The world is so overrated.”

“True, but I think our friends might like to see us.”

I kissed her shoulder. “You, maybe. I’m fine with staying in this room with you forever.”

“That would be a bit of an issue when the semester is over and summer break comes and we have to move out.”

“We could hide in the ceiling and then wait until everyone left and only come out at night to get supplies. Like vampires.”

“You have put way too much thought into this. But seriously, I need to shower. I need to…do something.”

“I have something you can do.” I took my hand and slid it down her stomach.

“Fine, if you want, you can come shower with me. I need someone who can reach my back.” She got out of bed, then put my hand on her waist.

“I wish we could save it somehow,” she said.

“Are you at all opposed to nude photography?” My phone sat on her desk, and I reached for it, turning it on.

“I guess not, as long as these don’t end up somehow plastered all over the internet.” I was about to answer her when I saw another text from Ric.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Katie was waiting for me to answer.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. Just…Trish, being Trish.” F*cking Ric. That was why I’d left my phone off.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, fine.”

I looked back at her, putting a smile on my face. She studied me for a second, and I thought she was going to demand that I tell her, but then she smiled.

“Where do you want me?” she said, posing and throwing her head back. God, she was stunning.

I moved the blankets on her bed so she could lay out and took first pictures of her front, moving from her neck on down. I grabbed a lamp to give us better light and she struggled with trying to stay still. I couldn’t believe she was letting me do this, and then it hit me.

She trusted me. Not only did she love me, but she trusted me.

F*ck.

She trusted me enough to let me take pictures of her naked and keep them on my phone and not share them. That meant she probably trusted me to not f*ck anyone else. Too late.

I took the pictures of her back and her hands and finally, the bottoms of her feet.

“Done.”

I kissed them and she squirmed.

“Shower?”

“Only if I can come,” I said, making her squirm again as I dug my finger into the arch of her foot.



***



I wrapped her up like a mummy and made sure the coast was clear before we hit the shower. The handicap shower, which was bigger, was known as the ‘couples’ shower’, she said, and more than a few couples had partaken in water conservation.

“Is it working?” She said as I scrubbed her with her most exfoliating soap and this loofah thing she’d brought.

“Sort of.” I rubbed harder and her skin turned red, but there was still a little bit of the drawing left behind. She was busy working on her front, checking her arms and stomach to see if it had faded.

“You know, you could have just kept it. Would have come off eventually.” I ran my hand down her back and touched her, sliding one finger into her.

She made an incoherent sound and I dropped the loofah.

“Maybe we just need a little more friction,” I said.

“Mmmm,” she said, bracing herself on the shower wall.

By the time we were done, the pounding water had taken care of most of the drawings.

“Too bad neither of us has a tub, because a good soak would have probably taken care of this, but it wouldn’t have been as much fun,” I said, pushing her back up against the wall as the water poured down on our heads.

“True,” she said, putting her hand on my heart. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” So much that I wasn’t sure if I could take it, if I could handle how I felt about her. I pressed my forehead to hers and kissed her drenched lips.

“I have to tell you something.” I couldn’t fill myself up with her until I got rid of Ric.

She stared up at me, and the words wouldn’t come.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” I finally said, and I felt her relax in my arms.

“I think I’d like to be your girlfriend.”

“Just like?”

“Love. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

F*ck, f*ck, f*ck.



Katie



Lottie knocked on the door when she came back from class. Stryker and I were working on my wall. Apparently he hadn’t used up all his artistic talents on me.

“Oh, hey.” She cracked open the door with her eyes closed.

“We’re not naked, Lot,” I said, jumping down off my bed where I’d been helping Stryker fill in the leaves of a vine he’d been drawing along the top of my wall.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were.” She opened her eyes and set her bag down.

“Then why were your eyes closed?” Stryker said, swapping markers with me.

“Just being cautious. What are you doing?”

“Changing my wall up a bit since I can’t actually paint it.”

“Cool. How are you doing?” she said, looking at me.

“I’m…good, actually. Not fine.”

Lottie smiled and I could tell she’d been worried about me all day.

“So, I got elected to ask, since I’m your roommate, what’s the deal here?” She pointed at Stryker and me.

“We are officially together-together,” I said.

“Boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Stryker jumped down next to me. “Yes, we are. Right, sweetheart?”

“Yes, my beloved.”

He put his arm around me and I leaned into him.

“You’re not going to talk like that all the time, are you? Because I think I liked you better as f*ck buddies if that’s the case.”

“Look, I’ve suffered through you and Zan, so you can deal,” I said.

“Fine, fine. Look, I have to text your sister because she’s been up my butt about asking since I told her that you had spent the night together.”

“She didn’t say anything, did she?” Stryker said, his arm tightening around me, just a little.

“Say anything about what?”

He tried to shrug it off. “I don’t know. She’s Trish.”

“True,” Lottie said, taking out her phone. About three seconds after she sent the text, my phone rang. I would have been shocked if it hadn’t.

“I should probably take this outside. I have a feeling I’m about to get reamed out and emasculated at the same time,” he said, laughing a little, but I could tell he was tense. He did that jaw-clench thing that made his face even more attractive.

He closed the door and Lottie seized her moment.

“Well that was unexpected. I mean, I always sort of knew you’d end up together, but I didn’t know it would be this quick, and…like this. Not that I’m judging you, because I can’t throw stones, especially where relationships are concerned—”

“Lottie. It’s cool. I swear. Do you remember what a hard time I gave you about Zan? And also that I kept it from you that I slept with him?”

Her face went red.

“Yeah. Right. That.”

“It’s okay. I feel good, and under the circumstances, that’s…good. He loves me.”

“He said it?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Wow. Just…wow.”

“Why so shocked?”

“Well, it’s just that Stryker doesn’t date, seriously, at least according to Trish.” He’d told me some about his dating history, but in this instance, I kind of wanted to be kept in the dark. Besides, it was a bit of a pot and kettle situation.

“Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t date him.”

“I know, Lot. It’s okay.” I put my hands on her shoulders to stop any future verbal geysers.

“Okay.” She let out a deep breath. “Um, so now can I be super happy for you?”

“Yes, you can.”

“What’s that?” She pointed to a drawing on my neck that hadn’t quite faded.

“It’s a long story,” I said.



***



“How did it go?” I said when Stryker came back from his chat with Trish. He looked like he’d just been told his entire collection of musical instruments had been smashed.

“Oh, you know Trish. She doesn’t pull any punches.” He tried a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Is she mad at you?”

“Just mad that she didn’t know first. I guess when I make declarations of love from now on, I’m supposed to inform her first.” He was still hiding something, but Lottie interrupted.

“You guys want to go to dinner?”

“Seeing as how we’ve only eaten ice cream today, yes, I could use some real food,” he said.

“Ice cream is real food,” Lottie said. “Did you eat all of it?” She ran to the mini-fridge and pulled open the now-empty freezer.

“Uh, yeah,” he said.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” she said, closing the door. “We can always get more.”



***



I called Kayla before our dinner to check in on mom. I still couldn’t believe that I’d let everything with Stryker happen, but he was right. I couldn’t let dad dying ruin the rest of my life.

“She had some soup, so that’s something, I guess,” she said.

“Can I talk to her?”

“She’s not really in a talking mood.” She held the phone out and I could hear Mom sobbing. Kayla must have been standing outside her bedroom door.

“Oh.”

I wanted so much to tell her about Stryker and that he said he loved me and that we were together, but it seemed disgustingly selfish to bring it up.

“Heard from Adam?”

“Yeah, he finally got the chance to send an email. He’s glad to be back, and he feels like shit for leaving me, but it is what it is.”

We talked about a few more things and I almost mentioned Stryker, but Kayla did it for me.

“How’s everything back there?” she said. I heard water running, and splashing so I assumed she was doing the dishes.

“Good.”

“Everyone glad you’re back?”

“Are you asking about my friends or about Stryker?”

“The second.”

“He’s…he’s good. We’re good.”

The splashing stopped. “What is this ‘we’ you speak of?”

“Yeah, there’s a ‘we’ now.”

“Are you serious?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“When did that happen?”

“Last night.” I still hadn’t gotten around to fixing up the bed again.

“Katie, you didn’t.” Here came the lecture. “Do you really think this is the right time?”

“When is it the right time? I didn’t plan on it. He said he loved me and I said it too and now we’re together. You were all for this not that long ago.”

“I know I was…it’s just that things are different now.”

“Because of Dad?”

“I just don’t think this is the right time to jump into something. I’m trying to look out for you because I love you. You’ve been through a lot and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’m fine, Kayla.”

“I don’t want to fight with you, especially not about this. Just…be careful and I love you.”

“I know, love you too.”

I hung up and went back into my room. Stryker and Lottie were debating about who they thought was the killer from an old Law and Order we’d been watching. It was definitely the husband’s lawyer, but I kept my mouth shut.

“She ream you out too?” Stryker said, leaning on his elbow.

“Sort of. It was more gentle than a reaming. More like a few words of caution.”

“I wish my sister knew anything about the word gentle,” he said as I sat next to him on my bed and he put his arm around me.

“Is she that upset about us being together?”

His eyes flicked back to the TV. “No, not really.”

“Then what is she so upset about?”

Lottie looked away from the show and at Stryker too.

“I told you, she’s pissed that I didn’t tell her before I told you.”

“But she’s happy, right?”

“More like bitter that she’s still alone.”

“Why is it different than when we were together but not really together?” For a guy who was pretty smooth normally, he was having a hard time coming up with a story.

“It’s just different.” He rolled over so he couldn’t look at me.

“Yeah, sure.”

As soon as I could, I was going to text Trish and get to the bottom of this. Consuming myself with Stryker’s secret was much better than thinking about Dad or his ashes or the fact that I still had all of Zack’s gifts under my bed. Stryker kept kicking them whenever he could, but he didn’t know what they were. I’d made some vague excuse.

Zack.

I’d thought about him a few times today, but only in contrast to Stryker. When Zack told me he loved me, it was only because he thought he should, like it was an obligation. When I said it to him the first time, I’d been drunk, and I couldn’t really take it back. He always followed it with “babe.” “I love you, babe,” he’d say. I hadn’t realized how much I absolutely hated him calling me that until after everything had happened.

He still sent me a text here and there, but they were fewer and farther between. Maybe he was finally getting some help. I thought about asking Zan, but he said he’d cut ties with his family and wasn’t keeping up with Zack’s comings and goings.

“You guys ready to go?” Lottie said, as there was a knock at the door.

“Yup,” I said, grabbing my coat. Stryker jumped up and helped me put it on.

“Where are we going?” I said as Lottie opened the door to reveal the rest of the crew. They all stared at Stryker and me.

“Okay, okay, you can stop staring,” Lottie said. “Nothing to see here, just two crazy kids in love.” She gave me a wink and Stryker took my hand.

I heard a weird noise and looked for the source. Trish was lasering the evilest of evil eyes directly at Stryker. If looks could kill…

I knew Trish well enough to know that it wasn’t mere jealousy that was making her look at Stryker as if she wanted to reduce him to a pile of ash, like a vampire in the sunlight.

“Let’s go,” Simon said, giving Brady a look. “I’m starved.”

We all trooped down the hallway with Trish still giving Stryker a death glare.

“Where are we going?” I asked the group in general.

“Caroline’s?” Simon said.

Caroline’s was one of the nicest places in town, more of a lounge than a bar. It wasn’t cheap, either. I always thought of it as a grown-up place.

“Uh, can we all afford that?”

“We’re just planning on ordering a shit ton of appetizers and sharing,” Will said. “I also have a friend who’s a busboy who could bring us some scraps from other people’s plates if we get really starved.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said.

“You okay with that?” I said to Stryker, hoping no one else would hear.

“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where I am.”

“Ditto,” I said, and I squeezed his hand, but one look behind at Trish’s angry face was all it took to remind me that there was something he was keeping from me and the sooner I figured out what it was, the better.