This was so bad. I needed to get out of here. I turned toward the stairs, and Milo stepped in front of me.
“You could ask him yourself. He’s at the rec center on campus for that after-school program he does.”
I couldn’t.
“That’s okay. I’ll just see him another time.”
Milo laughed. “No, you won’t. If you don’t do it now, you’ll never do it.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because I recognize a kindred spirit. It took all you had to do this once. It won’t happen a second time. Believe me, I’ve been there.”
I squirmed under his gaze, and he grinned at me. He was so smug with his assessment of me that I was surprised he didn’t suffocate under all that arrogance.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I just came to give him something that belongs to him.”
Milo didn’t look like he believed me. I didn’t know if I believed myself.
“I’ll just come by another time.”
I turned and bolted down the stairs. For the second time, I ran away from Cade’s apartment. And even though I wouldn’t admit it to Milo, I knew he was right. So, I turned north toward the Temple campus. I had the whole walk there to either gather my courage or change my mind.
The rec center was easy enough to find, but finding Cade was a different story.
There were so many kids. Hundreds of them. Of all ages and genders and nationalities. They played chess and basketball and learned to dance. The building rang with their cheers and laughter. A group of kids ran past me, screaming excitedly, and I was nearly trampled in the process. I watched them, smiling. Their stumbling feet led my eyes right to Cade.
A large group of children surrounded him and a pretty blonde. Cade and the girl were wearing red T-shirts with the word VOLUNTEER stamped across their backs, and the children hung on their every word.
Cade had his arm stretched in front of his chest, pulling it back with the other arm. The T-shirt he wore was just snug enough to hint at the curve of his chest and shoulders. You could tell from looking at him that he was in shape, but not even I had expected his body to be as gorgeous as it was. Just closing my eyes, I could call it to mind all too easily.
He shook his arms out and said, “All right, guys. Now that we’ve stretched out our bodies, we need to stretch out our faces. Your facial expressions are very important as an actor. So, let’s do a little Lion Face/Lemon Face. Pretend that you’ve just tasted the most sour lemon in the history of the universe.”
The kids puckered their lips and scrunched up their faces. Cade walked around the circle, making a funny face with them.
He stopped beside a boy, maybe seven years old, who was concentrating extremely hard on the face he was making.
“How sour is that lemon, Jamal?”
The boy hopped from one foot to the other, shaking his head, and said, “SO sour, Mr. Cade.”
I smothered a laugh into my hand.
“Okay, now I want you to get mad that that lemon was so sour and roar like a lion.”
The kids dropped the squished expressions and stretched their faces wide. Their eyes bulged, and their lungs bellowed, and it was kind of terrifying. Such stuff as horror movies are made of.
Cade then proceeded to shout, “Lemon Face! Lion Face!” in quick succession, and the kids switched back and forth with glee. After a few rounds the kids were jumping around and screaming whether they were making lion or lemon faces.
Cade made eye contact with his girl partner and chuckled. The girl looked at him from beneath her lashes in that universal “I want you” way. He stood next to her, and she bumped his shoulder with hers.
Watching them, I felt like the floor had given way beneath my feet.
Milo had said that Cade was good. Really good.
Was this why he’d wanted me to come here? My stomach twisted. I looked back at the blonde and wondered what Really Good’s name was.
This was a mistake. This was his world. All laughter and good deeds and sunshine. This was exactly the reason I’d left. My life was dark, depressing, and decaying in comparison. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here.
Had I expected our lives to just fall together? Did I really believe that all our differences and all the baggage piled up between us would just melt away because . . . What? Because I missed him?
Or did I think we could pick back up with our friendship like nothing had changed?
Everything had changed.
I’d never thought of myself as naive, but I supposed there was a first time for everything. I took one last look at him. His smile was so gorgeous that it was painful to watch. I was seconds away from turning. I just wanted to soak up a few more moments. Then his eyes met mine.
He blinked, like maybe he was seeing things, and his smile disappeared. That was all the insight I needed. I turned just as I heard him say, “Amy, can you take over?”
I darted between two rows of tables with kids playing chess.