The door to the bathroom slammed, and the sound echoed off the tile walls. I closed my eyes, and worked to close myself off, too. I should have been upset, but mostly I was relieved. I’d call and apologize to him later. We’d be fine.
And I’d tell him the set list for the gig, since it looked like we’d be deciding that without him. I splashed some water on my face and pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes until the black behind my eyes was as black as it would go.
Then I went back outside.
Spencer had already packed up our things and returned them to the storage closet that Sam let us use. I didn’t have to say anything. Spencer had probably heard it all. Sound carried in this place. It was why I’d begged Sam to let us use it in the mornings before the bar opened. Great acoustics. Good for music, not so good for arguments.
“You okay?” Spencer asked.
I rolled my eyes and said, “What do you think?”
“I think you’re fine.”
“And you’d be right.”
Boys were boys. I had enough other things tying me into knots without worrying every single time Mace blew a gasket.
Spencer said, “Because you’ve got balls of steel.”
I hated when people said that, like it assumed strength and being a male were synonymous. There was strength in being a woman. “Spence, I don’t have balls. Good thing, too, because they’d look terrible in the lingerie I’m wearing.”
Spence adjusted his bow tie and put on a goofy smile. He said, “Lingerie, huh? Poor Mace is going to be sad he stormed out.” He sidled closer and placed his hands on my hips. He wasn’t hitting on me, not with that Zoolander-style Blue Steel face. We weren’t like that anymore. Spence might be the only guy I’d ever slept with and managed to maintain a friendship with afterward. As such, we were a little more touchy-feely than most friends.
I slid out of his reach. “He wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near it today anyway, and neither will you.”
He crossed a hand over his heart, and looked pained.
“You’re cruel. Vagina-of-steel.”
I laughed so hard I had to steady myself on the table next to me.
“That’s even worse. Let’s just say my private parts are made of the usual private part bits. In fact, let’s just never talk about my bits, okay Spence?”
He smirked. “Fine, but I make no promises when I’m drunk.”
I sighed and started gathering my things. “Deal. You coming in tonight?”
“I think so. I’ve got a new song I’m working on. So I might come in and grab food and work on it, maybe run it by you on your break.”
“Sounds good.”
“You want to hear what I have so far? It’s a work in progress, but it goes ‘Your boyfriend’s a dick, a prick, take your pick. But you should take his drumstick and—’ ”
“—Point proven, Spence.”
He fit a fedora over his head. “I’ll believe that when you do something about it. See you tonight.”
I said, “I’ll save you your usual table,” but he was already out the door and on his way.
I used the spare key Sam gave me to lock up, and put Mace out of my mind. I had just enough time to make some ramen and catch a nap before coming back for work tonight. I pulled the hood of my jacket up over my head, and it helped to block some of the wind from my face and ears. I set off walking toward my apartment, quietly singing one of the songs by the Smiths from our set.
There is a better world
Well, there must be . . .
7
Cade
Milo’s apartment was the quintessential bachelor pad, complete with two weeks’ worth of takeout scattered all over the counters. He shoved aside an empty box from a Chinese restaurant and said, “You overthink things, hermano. So, I’m going to help you out.” Milo opened his freezer and slammed a bottle of tequila on the counter space he’d just “cleaned.”
I was beginning to get a clearer picture of how this night was going to go.
“You’re going to help me stop thinking completely?”
He unscrewed the cap and said, “Exactly.”
I picked up the bottle, and the glass was freezing against my fingertips.
“You could have at least gotten decent tequila. What is this? There’s a freaking pony on the bottle.”
He snatched the bottle out of my hand and said, “I’ll buy more expensive tequila when you get over this Bliss girl.”
I never should have mentioned her name to him. He had this tendency to drop her name into casual conversation as a way to numb me to it. So far, it was a bit like becoming numb to shock treatments. It got more bearable, but I wasn’t going to line up and ask for more anytime soon.
He pulled a few shot glasses out of a cabinet, and I said, “So this is therapy, Milo-style?”
“Yep. If you’re not wasted, it’s not working.”
He filled two shot glasses, and slid one over to me. The other he held back for himself. I gestured to his glass and said, “What are you drinking to get over?”
“You’re not getting it, hermano. We drink so that we don’t have to talk.” I nodded and took my filled shot glass. I started to lift it to my lips, and he stopped me. “These aren’t ordinary shots.”