Shoving the phone in my pocket, I sit down on one of the chairs and stare up at the black sky. I take a moment to quell the tears that are threatening and breathe. I need to collect myself before going back inside. When I do get up and turn back to the house, I see Ryan watching me through the double French doors. He opens one of the doors and asks, “You okay?”
Not wanting to let this ruin my evening, I brush it off and laugh. “My mother’s lost her mind, that’s all.”
“Wanna talk about it?” he asks when I walk past him.
Turning around to face him, I casually say, “Nothing to really talk about.” Then I walk back into the living room and lie back down on the couch next to Jase.
“What did she want?” he asks.
“She wanted to know when I would be home for Thanksgiving.”
“When are you going to leave?” Mark asks.
I watch Ryan walk back into the room and take a seat on the fireplace stoop. Looking back over at Mark, I say, “I told her I would be there Wednesday night. I’ll probably leave Saturday morning.” Turning my head to Jase, I ask, “When are you guys heading out?”
“Our flight leaves around noon on Tuesday,” he says. Mark is taking Jase home with him to meet his parents in Ohio. Jase has been nervous about meeting Mark’s parents, but I know it’ll be fine. From what Mark has told us, his family is more than accepting of his sexuality. I am so happy that Mark and Jase were able to work everything out between them because they are so happy together.
“When do you guys get back?”
“Late Sunday afternoon.”
I roll onto my side and ask Ryan what his plans are for Thanksgiving.
“I’m going to go spend a few days with my family down in Cannon Beach in Oregon. My aunts and uncles always come to my mother’s house with my cousins for a big dinner.”
“Will you be there for the weekend?” I ask.
“Nah, I’ll come back home that night. My mom and her sisters spend the day plotting for Black Friday, so I always come back home and just lay low.”
“Sounds like you have a big family,” Jase says.
“Yeah, man, five cousins and between them they have seven little kids. I love them, but shit they’re loud,” he says, laughing.
“Must be nice though. I’m an only child with no cousins. Small family,” I say.
I wish I knew what it was like to have a family like that. I had always wished I had a brother or sister growing up. I always felt lonely. My father worked constantly and my mother was never around. Always too busy attending all of her charity functions to pay attention to me. I know now that I will never have that close family that I had always dreamed of.
Chapter Fifteen
––––––––
I grab my last pair of shoes to put in my suitcase before driving to my parents for Thanksgiving. Kimber left Monday to go stay with her parents who live in Redmond, and Jase and Mark left Tuesday to fly to Mark’s parent’s house in Ohio. Everyone seemed excited for the break before they left while I have been dreading it.
I try to avoid my parents for the most part. Growing up with them wasn’t easy. My mother is a social bee and is concerned more about herself and her family’s image than happiness. She is a very stern and critical woman, and to please her is nearly impossible. Everything in her world has to be simply perfect so that others will envy her.
My father, being an orthopedic surgeon, was never around much. Both of my parents are influential and well-respected. But they were always so busy that I was left alone for the most part. When my mother was around, all we ever seemed to do was fight. We still do. It has always bothered her that I never participated much in her endeavors. She is involved in many charities, fundraisers, and other social events around town. I know she dreams of a daughter that would follow in her footsteps among her friends and be more concerned about my, as she puts it, ‘social standing in the community.’
So now I am making the short twenty-minute drive to Shoreline to spend Thanksgiving with my parents. I plan to leave Saturday morning so that I can have a little down time before classes start back up on Monday.
As I enter through the gates of The Highlands, I make the slow winding drive that leads to the house I grew up in. Pulling up the drive to the two-story coastal house that is reminiscent of a Hampton beach house, I park, grab my suitcase, and walk up to the front door.
When I walk in, I can hear my mother talking on the phone, and I follow her voice to the kitchen to let her know I’m here. She stands there, leaning her hip against the center granite island, in her houndstooth pencil skirt, cashmere sweater, and black pumps. She acknowledges me with a slight nod before picking up her glass of wine and walking to the living room to continue her conversation.
I drag my suitcase to my bedroom, flop my purse onto the floor, and lie down on my bed. I turn my head to look through the French doors that look out over the Sound. I have always loved this view, even as a little girl. I used to spend hours sitting up here and staring out this very window wondering what my life would turn out like.
“Candace, dear,” my mother calls from downstairs, and I am snapped out of my reverie.
Making my way downstairs, I meet her in the kitchen as she is refilling her glass of wine.