CHAPTER TWELVE
BUENOS AIRES WAS a shock to the senses after the high desert beauty of Mendoza and the wine country. But even more of a shock was the reality of her situation with Marcos. They’d made love every night at the winery, they’d spent days walking in the vineyard, talking about Ana and the Foundation and the kids that it helped. They’d spent hours with Armando, playing with him, taking him for a sunny picnic once under the lone olive tree, and tucking him in at night.
In short, they’d played a happy family and she’d let herself be sucked in by the performance. No matter that he’d said he didn’t love her, she’d thought surely he must love little Armando, that he would want her to stay and help him take care of the child.
Instead, he planned to let someone else adopt the boy.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. She’d been stupid to let herself believe, because when it came down to it, Marcos was not going to want to stay married to a woman who couldn’t have his children.
And she didn’t blame him, not really. He deserved children of his own, and she was not the woman who could ever give that to him. This was not a permanent marriage and would never be so. Marcos was under no delusions about the reality of it, while she kept trying to convince herself that he cared and that things could change given time.
As the day wore on, Francesca realized how much she missed little Armando. How could you fall in love with a child in a week? But she had, and while she didn’t doubt that Marcos wanted the best for him too, she was sick to think that she’d never see the little boy again.
Marcos returned from his offices downtown sometime around eight that evening. Francesca had not heard from him since they’d touched down that morning and he’d gone to Navarre Industries’ headquarters. She was watching television in the living area when he stalked in and tossed his briefcase and suit jacket on one of the couches.
Her heart always leapt at the sight of him, but now her joy was tinged with hurt and sadness. He picked up the remote and clicked the mute button.
“We are having a cocktail party here tomorrow evening,” he said without preamble. “I need you to coordinate the menu with the chef. You will also need to choose a suitable dress since you will be wearing the Corazón del Diablo.”
Francesca blinked. Anger began to build like a kettle on a low flame. “And what is this cocktail party for?”
“It’s business—but there will be a couple attending who I’ve been told cannot conceive. They may be perfect for Armando.”
“You certainly waste no time,” she said crisply.
He looked puzzled. “You would be happier if this was not a top priority to find Armando a loving family?”
“I didn’t say that. But you seem to think that choosing a family is rather like going to a store and picking out a new suit.”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what you expect from me, Francesca. I won’t let just anyone adopt Armando. They are a possibility, not a definite choice.”
What could she say? That she was angry and hurt because he wanted to find the child a loving home? What sense did that make?
None, of course. But it went deeper than that. It was about them as a couple, about the death knell of her dreams. It hurt to be faced with the reality of his feelings for her.
Marcos’s expression changed. Grew softer, pitying even. “Francesca, I’m sorry if this hurts you. But I have to find a home for him. He is my responsibility. I know you grew close to him, but you will not always be in his life. Surely you can see how this is a problem?”
“Of course,” she said, because there was nothing else to say.
Marcos nodded. “Good, I’m glad you agree.”
But she did not. Instead, she hurt inside, hurt for all that would never be. For what she would never have.
And she realized, as the pain wrapped its tentacles around her heart, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t stay here for the next couple of months, sharing Marcos’s bed, hostessing his parties, living with him and loving him and knowing he did not feel the same. Would never feel the same.
Because she was damaged, and though she believed he was very sorry for what had happened to her, he would never be able to love her, to have her as his wife when she could not give him the children who would inherit his empire someday.
And she just couldn’t live with that knowledge anymore. She had to leave, and she had to do it soon.
“I think I’ll go to bed now,” she said, standing.
Marcos’s expression was carefully blank. “Goodnight, Francesca. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
She didn’t trust herself to speak, so she inclined her head in reply. Then she turned her back and walked away.
Marcos didn’t go to her bed that night, though he ached to do so. But she was angry with him, he knew, and it bothered him far too much that she was. He stayed away because he wanted to prove to himself he could do so, that Francesca had no real pull on him other than the desire that constantly pounded through his veins.
He wanted her, but he would be disciplined about it. Besides, a night alone would do them both good, would help to clear their heads about everything that had happened at the Bodega Navarre.
He’d loved spending time with her, and though their stay had been tinged by tragedy, there had been real joy in being there with her. She’d been a rock through the whole ordeal, and she’d helped to take care of the baby though it had surely made her think of the child she’d lost. He’d admired her very much then, and he’d even let himself consider what it would be like to tear up their contract and convince her to stay with him.
Because he enjoyed her company, craved her body, and felt more at ease with her than he ever had with anyone. It was as if she understood him.
But on the day of the funeral, when they’d stood at the gravesite and watched the coffin being lowered into the ground, he’d realized he couldn’t ask her to stay. She deserved better. She deserved a man who wasn’t so damaged by life that he could never love her, and she deserved to have a home and, yes, even an adopted family if she chose.
He’d known, looking into her eyes that night, what she’d wanted from him. She’d wanted him to say they could keep Armando, could live as a family together, and though part of him strongly wanted to do so, he’d done what had to be done.
It was the right thing to do. Francesca would thank him someday.
The next morning, he breakfasted with her. She was aloof and distracted, he thought, but she was no doubt still hurt. She fidgeted with her food, pushing it around on the plate, before she finally speared him with golden-green eyes.
“I’m leaving, Marcos,” she said.
He ignored the funny little flip his heart did. “Where are you going?”
“Back to New York.”
He wanted to howl. “We have a contract, querida.”
“I know. And I also know you won’t cease Jacques’s care. That was my only incentive to stay, when I thought you would do so. But you’re too good, Marcos. As angry as you might be with me, you won’t hurt someone you can help.”
“I might,” he said, though it was an empty threat. “The Corazón del Diablo—”
“Is yours. I will write you a letter stating my family has no claim and never has. I didn’t want it, Marcos. I only wanted the money to take care of Jacques. Now that I don’t need it, I don’t care.”
“Will you at least tell me why?”
She dropped her gaze to her lap and swallowed. Then she looked at him again, her heart shining in her eyes. “Because I love you. Because I want you to have what makes you happy, Marcos, and I’ve realized that it’s not me. And I can’t stay here with you when I know it’s hopeless. If you care for me at all, even just a little bit, you have to let me leave.”
He felt as if someone was squeezing a giant vise around his chest. He didn’t want to let her go, not yet. But how could he not? He’d upended her life once before when she’d thought she loved him. He could not in good conscience do so again. It was wrong, so very wrong to keep her here simply to suit his own needs.
No matter how much he wanted to.
“Very well,” he said, the words scraping his throat like sandpaper. “I will make the arrangements.”
Snow had come early to New York that year. The sidewalks were blanketed in a crisp layer of white, and everything looked magical and fresh.
Francesca was numb, but not from cold. She’d been back for three weeks and she hadn’t heard from Marcos at all. She’d made it through that last day with him, hosted the cocktail party gowned in a gorgeous ruby red dress and wearing the Corazón del Diablo, and met the very sweet couple who would probably become Armando’s parents.
Marcos had smiled and mingled as if nothing was wrong, and her heart had cracked every time she’d heard him laugh. He’d agreed so easily to her request. So easily that she knew she truly meant nothing to him. A part of her had harbored the hope that he would refuse, that he would be forced to realize she meant something to him after all.
He had not. The next morning, she hadn’t even seen him before the car arrived and it was time to go. It was as if he’d cut her from his life completely once he’d agreed to her request.
Francesca walked down the street with her collar turned up and her eyes fixed on the sidewalk in front of her. Soon, the snow would turn black with dirt and footprints—which would certainly match her mood more accurately.
A pang of longing for the warmth of the high desert in Mendoza sliced through her. Worse, a pang of longing for the man who’d shared those glorious days with her rode hard on its heels. She thought about Armando, wondered if he was in his new home yet. She hoped he would be happy and healthy and have the kind of life his mother would have wanted for him.
Marcos had not called or sent any form of communication since she’d left Argentina. She had expected divorce papers, but it was still early. They could be delivered any day now.
At least there was a bright spot in her otherwise dreary life. Jacques’s condition was improving tremendously. He was actually beginning to get color back into his cheeks. He was coming home in a few days, though he would have to return twice weekly for treatment. A nurse would be accompanying him for around-the clock-care.
One more thing for which to be grateful to Marcos. Jacques wasn’t out of the woods yet, but the doctors grew more optimistic each day.
Francesca took the steps up to her apartment and let herself in, unwinding her scarf and dropping it onto a chair. She shrugged out of her coat and hung it up, then went to the kitchen to check on the soup she’d left simmering at the back of the stove.
How easily she’d slipped back into her normal life—and how strange and empty it all seemed.
The buzzer to the downstairs door rang. She went to the intercom and, once she’d determined it was a deliveryman, let him inside. Dread pooled in the pit of her stomach as she stood on the landing. Could it be the divorce papers?
The man came up the steps with a small package clutched beneath one arm. He had her sign an electronic form, keyed in some information, and handed the parcel to her. Francesca thanked him, then went inside and took the package to the counter in the kitchen.
There was no return address, and she had no idea who might send her something express delivery.
Though perhaps it was something from the hospital. Something of Jacques’s. She grabbed a pair of scissors from a drawer and sliced into the cardboard.
A velvet box lay nestled among the air packets. She lifted it out, puzzled. When she flipped open the lid, her heart skidded to a stop before it began to beat double time.
The fiery yellow glow of the gemstone winking at her from a sea of white diamonds was unmistakable. She snatched up the folded note that lay beneath the Corazón del Diablo.
Come to the Four Seasons. There is a car waiting.
Marcos