And I do. I confide the entire story about Trevor, from day one to the events that followed Friday night. Telling Daniel the intimate details of my love life feels natural, because I’m talking to my former best friend. I’m also hopeful another dude’s insight might shed some light.
He contemplates for a moment, tilting his head. “It’s hard for me to say what this guy thinks regarding the texts. But I wouldn’t rule him out. From what you’ve said, he’s gone through some shit. Maybe he just needs some space. Or maybe he needs more reassurance from you. Like a grand gesture.”
After sending Trevor three mirror photos with zero response, the last thing I’m about to do is humiliate myself further with a grand gesture. Besides, the last time I attempted a grand gesture, I ended up engaged to the likes of Seth. “No. He knows how I feel. I think that’s precisely what scares him.”
He dips his head back. “Remember that time you tried to kiss Spencer Hayfield at recess and he told everyone you were a witch?”
I fail to suppress a snort. “He told everyone I put a curse on him. The little shit. The patriarchy is so strong, even six-year-olds believe girls who go after what they want are witches.”
Daniel bumps my shoulder with his. “My point is, you were always fearless. Don’t lose that.”
“Will you let me stay on your couch when it all inevitably backfires?”
He extends his slender hand, giving me a supportive shake. “Deal.”
Before the dinner starts, I excuse myself for a bathroom break, leaving Daniel in the good hands of my nurse colleagues. On my way out, my nose is buried in my phone as notifications stream in for a photo of a red book cover I paired with my dress.
Out of nowhere, a shiver electrifies my spine. Goosebumps scatter down my arms, as if I’m standing directly under the chilly blast of a vent. A velvety, audiobook-worthy voice upends everything in my orbit, stopping me in my tracks.
? chapter thirty-one
MY BODY MALFUNCTIONS like a laptop drowned by a spilled glass of water, screen flickering until it surrenders to the void.
For the briefest of moments, I convince myself Trevor’s voice was simply an audio hallucination. Nothing but a vivid symptom of my general heartache. I’m sure of it, until my name slices the air for the second time.
“Tara.”
I pivot as fast as possible in three-inch heels on carpet, confirming that for once, it isn’t my overactive imagination propelled by emotional, golf-ball-size hailstones.
Trevor is here.
In the flesh.
My chest blazes with heat, trying to reconcile the vision before my eyes. Trevor is not fighting fires on the West Coast. He is five feet in front of me, dressed in the same perfectly tailored suit he wore at Mamma Maria’s. He’s single-handedly sucking all the oxygen out of the hallway, leaving nothing for the rest of us. “What . . . what are you doing here?”
He pins me with his heated gaze. “I came home early.”
Everything but his perfect face blurs, like we’re on a merry-go-round at double speed. “Why?” I ask simply.
He works down a swallow, hesitating, his eyes dipping to his feet, then back to me. “You look”—he gestures toward me, jaw slack—“absolutely beautiful.”
Trevor isn’t one to bullshit. He doesn’t give a compliment he doesn’t mean. The earnest expression on his face cements it. The corners of my lips threaten to curve into a shy smile, until I recall his blatant lack of communication over the past three days. I’m transported back to that sinking moment at Mel’s. When I accidently sent him three photos in this very dress and he didn’t even bother to respond.
“Why didn’t you answer my text?”
He works down a swallow, hesitating.
I expect him to offer an excuse, like he was too busy doing hero shit, running into fiery blazes and saving lives. Or maybe he had bad reception and didn’t even receive the photo. While I’m fairly certain that’s not the case, given I specifically saw him typing, I’ve held on to the possibility, however remote.
Trevor doesn’t offer either justification. “You didn’t mean to send them to me, I thought.”
As we take each other in, a hand touches the small of my back.
“Hey, I was looking for you.” It’s Daniel. By the way he’s looking at me, blatantly confused, he’s entirely oblivious to the rubber band between Trevor and me, ready to snap at any moment.
Trevor’s lips flatten at the interruption, his steady gaze turning cold.
“Sorry, I was in the bathroom. Got distracted on my phone,” I say, blinking away the white dots clouding my vision.
“Dinner is starting. The emcee is asking everyone to take their seats.” Daniel nods toward the entrance to the banquet hall. Before turning us back, he double-takes, holding his hand out toward Trevor. “Apologies, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Daniel. You must be one of Tara’s colleagues?”
Trevor’s expression is unreadable. His jaw shifts, and I’m certain I’d be able to hear his molars grinding together if it weren’t for the loud chatter filtering from the gala room.
“No, he’s not my colleague,” I cut in, nerves aflutter.
“Oh?” Daniel asks, still not picking up on the palpable tension.
The squealing feedback of a microphone pierces the air, followed by the soothing spa voice of tonight’s emcee, one of the hospital switchboard operators, who definitely missed her calling as a stand-up comedian. “Testing . . . Please, for the love of all things holy, can everyone step away from the bar and take your seats—”
“Shit,” I mutter, flustered as Daniel starts steering us back. When I look over my shoulder, Trevor is already walking away. His long strides have taken him three-quarters of the way across the cocktail room. Panicked, I raise my index finger to Daniel, signaling I’ll just be a minute.
I’m a fresh baby deer, wobbling on my day-old, spindly legs. My gown is hiked like the class act I am, dashing after Trevor as he veers left, disappearing into the lobby. In hot pursuit, I take the corner too fast, too furious. My shoulder collides with that of a server’s, nearly knocking over her tray of champagne flutes. I squeak out a muddled yet genuine apology, glancing back to confirm she’s rebalanced her tray. By the time I zero in on Trevor’s back again, he’s nearing the doors.
“Metcalfe,” I call, loud enough to turn the heads of bystanders who probably think I’ve lost my marbles.
His stubborn self doesn’t stop until I’m right behind him, yanking his biceps. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go.” He spares me a brief, heavy-hearted look, cautious about looking me directly in the eyes.
“Why are you running away from me?” I demand, louder than intended. The staff behind the lobby desk are giving me cross-eyed glares.
Trevor is desperate to bolt, based on his longing stare toward the door. He rakes a frustrated hand through his locks. “Because— Never mind.”
“Tell me.”
“Does it matter? You’re here with Daniel.” Trevor is jealous. He cares.
“He only came to make up for ditching me. I—I told him from the get-go we were just going as friends.” I struggle over my words, unable to fully articulate my jumbled thoughts.
He levels me with a look. “Just friends? Really?”
My eye twitches. “How could you even think I’d do something like this to you?”
“Tara, I’ve listened to you talk about how much you miss that guy—ten different guys—for months. How was I supposed to know you weren’t just settling for me as a last resort, until Daniel pulled through?”
I blink, stunned from the emotional whiplash of the past minute. “Is that really what you think? That I was only into you because no other exes worked out?”
“I don’t know! You moved on from each of them just like that. It’s like you just—you just convince yourself you’re in love with everyone you meet.”
“So you think I’ve just convinced myself I’m in love with you?”
“How can I not?” He gestures a hand back toward the direction of the cocktail area. “That guy is exactly everything you’ve been looking for. Why would you settle for me?”
I toss my palms toward the trendy beaded chandelier dangling above us. “I’m not settling. Why are you twisting this to make it about me, when you’re clearly the one who has no idea what you want?”
“I do know what I want. I told you how much you meant to me on Friday night,” he says, his expression pained.
“How was I supposed to know you meant it? I got nothing from you while you were gone.”
A vein pulses in his forehead. “You’re the one who barely texted me. I’ve seen the texts you sent to your exes. Compared to what you sent me, it seemed like you didn’t want to talk at all. And when you actually did send me those pictures, you said you meant to send them to someone else.”
It takes a couple of moments for the realization to settle. Trevor actually wanted me to text him more? “I tried not to bother you because you said you wanted to go slow. I didn’t want you to think I was being clingy.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that. Slow or not, I still want you to be you, clingy and all.”