“Your mom lives in a facility where they make sure she eats, bathes, and takes her medicine. Most days she doesn’t comprehend reality, Laney. She left to protect you, to give you a normal life. But in moments of clarity, she always made sure you got something on your big moments.” He pulls me into a hug, which for a moment offers comfort, but I quickly pull back, still reeling from so many conflicting emotions. “As far as I can tell, she has a cousin who visits her regularly and must have helped her with the execution. That, to me, says she loves you. When she’s thinking clearly, she’s thinking of you.” He falls silent now and just watches me, his eyes following my path back and forth across the floor.
“Why would my dad not have told me this?” How can they just lock her up, or whatever, and not tell her family? She could have been dead for all we knew!” The dam I’ve built for years breaks all at once, and my body shakes with the sobs. Images of my mother, alone and afraid, tucked away in some padded room, replace all the ones I’d created to protect myself; her happy with a new family, just not wanting me.
“I’m sure your dad doesn’t know. Like you, he assumes she just left. Like you, he’s dealt with the pain all this time of thinking she didn’t want him, either. Like I said, it took some doing for me to find her.”
“I have to tell him,” I say, maybe out loud, I’m not sure.
He moves behind me, wrapping his arms around me. “Baby, are you okay? Can I hold you?”
Part of me feels like I should be angry with him right now, but the feel of his arms around me washes that away this time. He’s found my mom and solved the stalker mystery; he’s given me back love and safety in one fell swoop. Dane takes care of me, in more ways than he sometimes even means to, and damn if that doesn’t feel so right. It’s that sense of having someone put you first that I choose to cling to instead of some passing anger. I’m not his cause and he’s not saving me, so I don’t have to feel like a bitter pity-case; he’s pulling his weight as part of the team. That’s what Dane and I are, equals, a team.
“You can always hold me,” I murmur, turning into him and burying my tear-stained face in his chest. “Just don’t open my cards anymore, nosy butt.”
He swats my bottom and laughs. “I love you so much, Laney. I’m going to try my hardest not to scare you off with the intensity of it. I have a tendency to want and control everything around me, but I know if I go overboard, I’ll suffocate who you are, and I wouldn’t change who you are for anything in the world. So...” He hugs me tighter and leans down to brush his lips lightly against mine. “I’ll work on it, I promise.”
“Don’t change too much,” I mutter into his shirt, “I kinda like ya the way you are.”
So much for getting anything done today; the sun is low in the sky when I wake up from the nap I’d fallen into. The phone call to my dad had been exhausting and highly emotional. As Dane suspected, he really had no idea about my mother either, thinking all this time she had just left us. Obviously there’d been signs of a problem, like maybe depression, but to finally know the gravity of her condition floored us both, to say the least. I told my dad I wasn’t ready to make any big decisions; there’d be no phone calls, letters or visits to see her in my immediate future. I need time to process, at my own speed, and he’s very accepting of that, as had Dane.
“Whatever you want or need, Laney, that’s what we’ll do. If you want to go see her, we’ll do that, whenever you want. I also did some looking, and found a specialist nearby that we, or you, can visit with and talk about what the diagnosis entails, if you’d like to do that. Anything that helps you, baby, I’ll make it happen.”
Thinking back on Dane’s supportive words, knowing I can lean on him as much as I need to, my heart and mind feel lighter. I have to admit, there’s also a new feeling inside me, one I have yet to come to terms with, but like, knowing my mother kept up with me, cared about me, all this time. If I choose, I can see her, talk to her...maybe even hug her.
Now that all that’s settled, as much as it can be for the time being, I’m starving! I quickly freshen up just a bit and creep quietly down the stairs, unsure of where everyone in the house is right now. Skidding to a halt, I hear Bennett’s laughter in the kitchen. Shit! She and Tate will know I slept here, and—
“Get in here, baby!” his voice carries around the corner.
How does he do that?
Great, now I have to try and walk in casually, like I haven’t just been hiding around the corner. I hold up my head, throw my shoulders back, and glide in. Well, as close as I come to gliding. I needn’t have worried; Dane’s brilliant smile as I enter sets my soul at ease. I don’t care what anyone else thinks; that man loves me. He holds out an arm and I walk into it, wrapping mine around his waist and snuggling into his chest.
“Hello, roomie,” Bennett giggles. I peek at her and give a finger wave as Tate chuckles beside her.
“Tate!” I scurry around the island and wrap him in a hug. “You look great! How are you feeling?”
“I feel good, a little better every day,” he answers with a smile.
We’d come so close to losing him, and looking at him now, knowing how much he means to Dane, it makes me shiver. I make my way back to the sanctuary of Dane’s arms, silently laughing at myself. All of a sudden I am so touchy feely, and it feels so natural.
“So, what are you guys doing tonight?” Bennett asks.