chapter 5
I can feel the blood drain away from my face; it can’t be him, why would it be him? I try and argue with myself, but still my eyes won’t open, my mind knowing the truth.
“Kate” he says again, more assuredly this time, his clammy fingers touching my shoulder. Instinctively I flinch, pulling my shoulder away and open my eyes; there’s no denying it now, there he is. He looks absurd all red in the face, his hair stuck down across his forehead with sweat. I want to shout at him, tell him to get away from me, demand to know why he’s here and tell him he looks like an overdressed idiot in those clothes, my mouth is open, but nothing comes out except a strangled squeak.
I take a swig of my Daiquiri, clear my throat and try again “What the hell are you doing here!?” I hiss, matching the hushed tones used by the young couple I saw minutes before.
I’m seething, I don’t even care why he’s here, there is no possible reason good enough to explain him being here.
Jumping out of my seat I pick up my shoes and storm off away from him, “Kate!” he shouts unnecessarily loudly after me; turning on my heel I am inches away from him within two strides “Don’t you dare make a scene!” I warn him through clenched teeth, “Shut the hell up and let’s go somewhere less crowded” I turn and stalk away with him following me, hastily trying to keep up.
I head down to the beach, it crossed my mind to go back to my room for complete privacy, but the last thing I want is him knowing which room I’m in, so the far end of the beach will have to do.
We walk in silence for a good ten minutes. It’s sadly impossible to stomp effectively on soft sand, so I have to settle for a medium paced walk, his lack of talking tells me it’s still putting across my anger towards him.
I come to a standstill once we are well away from any would be eaves droppers and turn to look at him still glowering, but waiting for him to speak first.
“You look amazing” he starts, the comment turns my stomach as he looks me up and down.
“What do you want Jake?” I snap back. I thought if I had seen him again I would be flooded with feelings of love, but right now I feel nothing but contempt for this man.
“Kate, please” he says softly.
“Please nothing!” I shout back, “You left me. Youcheatedon me. You threw away our life together and now you turn up to ruin my holiday too!?What – do - you – want - Jake?” I say the last part slowly, emphasising each word in the hope to get my yet unanswered question through his thick skull.
All the anger from the last two months erupts out of me, I would love to slap that sorry looking expression off his face; How dare he do this to me!
“I’m sorry ok?” he says pitifully, “I’m sorry for all of it, I was stupid to do that to you, I know that now, I truly am so sorry Kate, you have to believe me” he looks so pathetic but it just makes me hate him all the more.
“So what?” I fire back at him, “who cares if your sorry? It still doesn’t explain why you’re here. What, this couldn’t have waited till I got back?” I know I’m hurting him, throwing his apology back in his face, but he deserves everything he gets.
“You were always telling me I should be more romantic, so….” He trails off deflated, for a second I almost feel sorry for him.
“Yes I was” I admit, “when we were together! It’s beentwo months Jake! Two months that you were shacked up with your mistress, let alone how long it was going on before then. I’ve come away, I’ve moved on, frankly it’s too little too late.” My words have reduced in volume but not in venom.
“But….” He starts.
“No! Just no Jake,you destroyed our relationship, not me. It’s too late to come crawling back, it’s far beyond being fixed now.” With that I turn and walk away, leaving him standing dumbfounded in the sand.
Back in my room I’m pacing up and down, so many questions are whizzing round my head, I can’t think straight. How did he even know I was here? He must have spoken to Caz, or maybe Phil told him?
God I want to speak to Caz she will know what to do with him; but more than that, I want to be with Carlos, he could just wrap me up in his strong arms and hide me away from reality.
Sinking onto the bed I choke out a sob and once the gates have opened I cry uncontrollably, howling out at various intervals until my body is shaking and I lie there broken and weeping.
I was so sure all my sadness had turned to anger by now, but one outburst and I’m right back where I started. I don’t want to keep feeling like this, but I’m never going to be over him am I? I can run away from it as much as I like, but in the end he’ll find me and reduce me to this every time.
My tears start over anew at my private revelation. Right now it really feels like this will last forever, I cannot imagine a time when I will stop feeling this way. Attempting to stifle the last few cries and vaguely compose myself, I wipe my eyes and pick up the phone. Its five rings before she answers “Hi, Kate is that you?” her bright tone breaks me down all over again “Oh Caz” I wail.
“Kate!? What’s happened? Tell me. Is it that Carlos?” she takes a stab in the dark at the cause of my misery.
“No, not Carlos, Jake. F*cking Jake is here!” my anger is seeping back through, re-charged, irrationally, by her accusing Carlos of upsetting me like this.
“WHAT??? He’s there? Actually there? I take it you spoke to him? What the hell is he doing there? How would he even know where you were? I didn’t tell him and your parents wouldn’t…..oh! Phil, it must have been Phil, when I get my hands on him…..” she is off on a rant, but it confirms my suspicions of how he found me.
Once she comes to a pause in her tirade I explain what happened, what he said, how I responded, much to Caz’s delight, who had assumed I would have taken him back in a heartbeat; I’m offended at first, but if I’m honest with myself, before coming here I probably would have, in fact right up until I met Carlos I would have.
It was only my dates with him that have opened my eyes to just how bad it was with Jake and to how much more there is out there, just waiting for me to get my hands on!
“It’s such a mess Caz, Carlos might be back tomorrow and what if Jake plans on staying longer?” I ask, desperate for her to have an answer that will magically fix everything.
“Well you’ve told him where to go, so maybe he will just leave?” she says optimistically.
“It’s doubtful though, isn’t it?” I reply, losing hope.
“There’s something else I need to tell you” she starts somberly, “I wasn’t going to say anything to you till you got back, but now this has happened, I think you need to know.” She pauses still unsure whether she should divulge whatever information she is holding.
“Go on” I encourage her.
“Stacy’s pregnant”
I’m silent, what can I possibly say to that?
Realising I’m too shocked for words, Caz goes on “Jake told Phil a couple of days ago, she’s about fifteen weeks along” she explains.
“I…but…what…..” I can’t even string a sentence together. He never wanted kids with me, I had been so eager to start a family, even before we got married, but he always said no, it was never a good time, it had broken my heart to think that it might never be a good time. But I had gone along with it, praying that he would some day change his mind and now he goes and knocks up his bit on the side?
I try to speak again, “Wait, so why is he here trying to get me back?” I ask, stupefied by the whole situation.
“Do you want my honest opinion?” Caz asks outright. It’s inevitably going to sound harsh, but at least it will be the truth.
“Yes” I state simply.
“OK, well he never wanted kids, I know you were hopeful that he’d change his mind, but if you really think about it, he was never going to relent” she speaks the words that I only say to myself. “Now he thought, for whatever stupid reason, that he had found something better in that Stacy bitch, but then she goes and ‘accidentally gets pregnant’ and he is out the door like a shot, crawling back to you, because now he sees that at least you…” she pauses, this is going to be the bit that stings, “well you wouldn’t disobey him” yep there it is.
As much as it feels like a stab in the back, it’s true. We were married, we had a house, both had reasonable jobs; at any time I could have just got pregnant and told him to deal with it, but I was so under thumb I would never have defied him like that. Maybe deep down I knew he would up and leave if I did.
“I think your right, god he is so despicable. I actually feel sorry for Stacy.” I say, although right now I am so numb I don’t think I could feel anything even if someone jabbed a fork into my thigh.
“Don’t feel sorry for her. She knew exactly what she was getting into, she deserves a man like him” Caz says, frankly.
I actually manage a chuckle “yeah, I guess so” it feels like I’m watching it happen to me, but I’m not in my body, I just feel detached from the whole ridiculous situation.
“So what are you going to do?” Caz asks.
“Nothing. For the time being at least, hopefully he will have left by now and if he hasn’t I guess I’ll just have to deal with him later. At least now I’m 110% sure I want nothing more to do with him. Can you believe I actually felt bad for coming down on him so hard earlier? Well not anymore!” I say assertively.
“I’m glad to hear it Kate, you deserve so much better than him, I’m just sorry it’s taken so long for us all to realise what a dick he is!”
We say our goodbyes shortly after that, by now it’s nearly 13.00; I’ve got an hour and a half before I’ve got to be out the front of the lobby to meet for this bike ride.
My head is sore from crying, but I’m full of nervous energy so it will be good to work off some of this hot air.
Going to the bathroom I splash cold water on my face, attempting to dissipate some of the puffy redness now practically swallowing my face whole.
Grabbing a hair tie I throw my hair up, no longer caring how it looks; what a waste of time spending so long on my appearance this morning turned out to be!
I begin to route through my clothes for some shorts and a top suitable for cycling and come up with the water bottle I had taken on the plane. I had bought it a few years ago for the car as it has a straw like nozzle which makes it easier to drink from when driving; Mines pink and I had bought a matching blue one for Jake. Looking at it, a lump forms in my throat and impromptu tears threaten to fall, No! this is not the time, Kate, pull yourself together. Iwill not shed another tear over that cheating, sleaze-ball, I tell myself firmly.
Whatever I had thought was between us was all based on lies told by him and naively believed by me. At least now I know the cold, hard facts. If I can just get over how stupid I feel for falling for it all those years, then maybe I can move on once and for all?
By the time I’m stood out front waiting for the rest of the group to materialise, the blotchy affect on my cheeks has just about gone and my eyes are only slightly swollen. I plaster a big smile on my face and keep my voice light and airy as I make small talk to distract from it.
“Kate!” comes Blair’s shrill exclamation from behind me. The moment I turn towards her she fling her arms around my neck squeezing enthusiastically “are you coming on this bike ride too?” she asks jumping up and down at the mere prospect.
“Yes I’m coming” I laugh, I’ve instantly caught her good mood.
“Hey, what’s up? You look like you’ve been crying” she coo’s stroking my hair.
“Oh it’s a long story” I brush off the question like it’s no big deal, “I’ll fill you in later, for now lets just get on these bikes and have a great afternoon!” I say forcing the smile back into my voice a little too obviously. Blair agrees, shouting over her shoulder and summoning John over, away from the instructor he is deep in conversation with. He bounds over, giving me a brief hug, “How’s things Kate? Did you enjoy your shopping trip, you can’t have bought much as Blair came back with just about all of what Mexico has to offer!” he teases, tickling her sides.
“It was great thanks, and yes I managed to get a couple of bits before she bought the whole stall!”
Just as Blair starts to defend her purchases, we are called to attention by today’s guide.
In turn we are each fitted with a helmet and a bike and lined up ready to go, there are only about ten guests taking part, I can see why cycling would not be the most popular activity on a beach holiday; it’s still at least twenty five degrees and as I push off shakily I’m already starting to regret it.
I haven’t been on a bike for years, I was hoping to god that it was how people say, ‘you never forget how to ride a bike’, but now I’m going I’m not so sure that’s true.
Granted I am staying upright which is a bonus, but I am anything but stable.
Rolling down the slope away from the hotel I keep my feet on the floor, skidding in the dirt to maintain my slow speed.
Blair stops at the bottom waiting for me, laughing at my obvious incompetence. “What are you doing?” she manages between laughs.
“I’m not very practiced at this, it’s the only way I can get down there safely!” I shout back, concentrating on keeping the handlebars straight.
When I eventually get to Blair she is still giggling, “Why didn’t you say something? You could have had one of the kiddy bikes with training wheels!?” cracking up even more at her own witty remark.
“Oi! I’m not that bad!” I laugh as she gives me a skeptical look.
“Come on, we’re getting left behind” she says giving me a helpful push in the right direction. Thankfully the next leg of our journey is flatter, as it turns out when they said hills they meant, occasional gentle slopes, so it really isn’t too strenuous; although I still bring up the rear for the most part of the journey.
The continuous peddling and struggle to stay balanced provides the perfect distraction from my problems and before I know it I start to feel more confident, allowing for small bursts of effort where I can briefly catch up with the rest of the group. Blair slows intermittently to give me some encouraging words, then shoots off with ease to catch up with John at the front.
We stop a couple of times to re-group and re-hydrate, and before I know it we have cycled the first hour and start to circle back towards the hotel.
I break into the middle of the group and although my bum is killing me from sitting on the hard seat, I push myself to maintain my position for the journey home.
The sun is still blaring, but if you get a good speed up the wind created keeps you relatively cool. Blair is chatting away next to me, I give a few short answers, but it’s difficult to hide the breathlessness from my words; it’s always embarrassing to struggle at something, next to someone who finds it a breeze.
As we reach the home stretch, the road dips down into a dauntingly steep slope, I go to lower my feet to the floor when Blair admonishes me “Hey, hey, don’t go sneaking your feet down! You’ve been doing so well, use the brakes!”
“But…” I start, unsure of her confidence in my abilities.
“No buts, just apply them really gently till you are at the right speed” she says demonstrating on her own bike.
I copy her, the bike begins to slow, but I begin to shake, causing me to weave about unsteadily again.
“It’s OK, you’ve got it” says Blair from behind me, keeping a safe distance from my unpredictable movements. No sooner than the words leave her mouth, does it happen. My back wheel hits a rogue stone, catapulting me over the handle bars, I hear Blair’s scream before I even react to it myself; then it all goes black.
When I open my eyes the first thing I notice is the searing pain in my head, slowly things around me come into focus; the guide is sat to my left leaning over me, repeating my name and waving his hand in front of my eyes, Blair is sat to my right, sobbing into John’s arms, and past that circle of heads there is a bustle of commotion, presumably from all the other riders around us.
“What happened?” I mumble, confused.
“Oh thank God” Blair says, letting go of John and grabbing my hand, “You had us scared there for a minute” John says.
“I’m so sorry Kate, it’s all my fault, I should never have got you to use the brakes when you weren’t ready” Blair says frantically, tears still streaming down her face.
“No, no…” I try and sit up, still unsure of exactly what has occurred. The Guides hand is instantly on my shoulder pushing me back down, “You stay lie down” he demands.
I glance back at Blair, puzzled, “You hit a rock and came over the handlebars, landed on your head, they are worried you may have broken your neck” she says, a little calmer now, but I think she is just trying not to panic me.
I take the time to actually feel myself, carefully moving every part, one limb at a time, “Nope, it’s just my head that hurts” I reassure them. But they take no chances and make me stay horizontal until the resident GP arrives and does a thorough check of me on the roadside.
He seems happy enough by the end, directing his diagnosis to Blair, being the best multi-lingual person present. She visibly relaxes as he talks, before turning to me, “Nothing broken, possible concussion, you need to take pain relief and get some rest.” She instructs, “Oh and your not to be left on your own tonight, so you’ll be staying with John and I” she states, slipping her arm under mine and gently easing me up to standing; my head hurts too much to argue with her.
They escort me, slowly, back to their apartment, I’m gob-smacked; they have a double bedroom with an en-suite, a separate living room with a huge crystal chandelier and another bathroom off of it. I thought my room was impressive, but this is something else.
The sofa pulls out into a king size futon bed, which they set up, with minimal effort and lay me down, it’s by far the comfiest thing I have ever laid on!
“Right you get some shut eye, John and me will be in the next room if you need anything ok?” Blair says as she tucks me in.
“Oh!” my eyes fly open just as she is pulling the door closed, causing her to leap back into the room dramatically, “What? What’s wrong?” she gasps.
“Sorry, no nothing, it’s just, Carlos will be ringing me tonight, but if I’m here he won’t be able to get hold of me?” I ask, flushing now at the insignificance of my concern.
“That’s fine” she looks at me knowingly, “I’ll just ring reception and get them to direct the call here instead” she suggests.
“Thanks Blair, I feel like I’m really inconveniencing you, it’s your second honeymoon and your stuck looking after an invalid.” I pout, sincerely apologetic.
“It’s the least I can do, considering it was my fault. And anyway I’m hoping if you feel well enough tomorrow, you might fill me in on whatever was bothering you earlier?” she asks, with a wink.
“Oh yeah, I’d almost forgotten about that, and it was not your fault Blair, it was that stupid rocks fault!” she just shakes her head in disagreement, then leaves me to rest.
After two strong painkillers sleep comes quickly, but dreams filled with Jake plague my rest.
It’s some time later that the phone rings, breaking Jakes hold on my subconscious. I wake drenched in sweat, the pain starting to increase; there are a few bruises forming on my arms and legs and a couple of grazes, but other than that, the only problem I have is this relentless headache.
Blair eases the door open silently in case I’m not awake. Even when it’s apparent that I am awake, she still speaks in a whisper, “Hey, how are you feeling?” she asks.
“I’m OK, a little sore, but I’ll survive” I smile up at her.
“Carlos is on the phone, do you want to take it in here?” she suggests, nodding towards the phone next to the makeshift bed I’m in.
“Yes that would be great, thank you. What time is it?” I’m hoping it’s time for another dose of pain killers.
“It’s nine. If you just pick up the phone and press the flashing button you’ll pick him up off hold” she explains.
I thank her as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
“Hey” I say once I’ve followed her instructions with the phone.
“Hey sweet, what happened to you? Are you OK?” he asks, his voice etched with concern.
“I had a fight with a rock, I’m a little sore, but you should see the rock!” I try and make light of my misfortune.
“Blair told me what happened, it’s no where near that casual, you were knocked out! I’m coming straight back as soon as the weddings over tomorrow!” jeeze, he really is worried.
“You don’t have to do that, really I’m fine, just a couple of grazes, it’s nothing, Blair is taking excellent care of me” I endeavour to re-assure him.
“No I’m doing it, you’re not even allowed to stay in your own room! Just because you’re not in hospital right now doesn’t mean it’s not serious. The wedding service is at 14.00, so I should be out of the church by 15.00 half past at the latest, I’ve looked at flights the earliest one I can make will have me back there by 18.00. Stay with Blair till then, I will collect you from her room.”
I’ve never known anyone to be so worried about something so small, if he’s like this now, how’s he going to react to the news that Jake's here!?
“OK, OK but really I am fine, you’re overreacting, but if you insist on coming back so soon, I’m not going to stop you. I’ve missed you” I mumble the last bit, still not sure if I should really be baring my heart and soul to this man.
“I’ve missed you too” he says with decidedly more assurance than me, “and if I am overreacting it’s just because I’m looking for any excuse to get out of here and back to you!”
“Well in that case, overreact all you want!” I say giggling like a teenager in love.
“I’ve got to go now sweet, but I will pick you up at 18.00 tomorrow, alright?”
“OK” I say the disappointment clear in my voice.
“Get lots of rest, and do what the doctor told you” he gives one last instruction.
“Yeah I will” I promise, “bye you.”
“Bye sweet”
Blair comes in as soon as I put the phone down, itching to discuss our call, which I’m sure by her prompt appearance that she must have already heard all of.
I catch her up anyway; it’s still about forty minutes till I’m due my next tablets, so it’s nice to have a distraction from the pain in the mean time.
I ask if she wants to hear about my earlier trauma, to which she nods enthusiastically, but suggests ordering a pizza on room service first. It’s not until she mentions it that I realise I’m famished, I think all I’ve eaten today is an apple, it’s just been so hectic I haven’t even thought about food.
She shouts through to John who is more than happy to partake, so she orders two 18 inchers, piling on every extra topping they offer.
They arrive promptly twenty minutes later, the mouth watering smell filling the room as soon as the door is opened. John pops in taking his fair share of them before retreating back into their room, ‘leaving us gals to chatter’.
I down another couple of tablets and get stuck in, giving Blair the run down of the Jake fiasco between mouthfuls.
By the end of the first Pizza she is flabbergasted, desperate to know what I plan to do. All I can do is shrug, I’ve got nothing, no plan of action, no idea what the protocol is for such situations. “I can only hope that he has left and gone home, so I don’t have to deal with it!?” is all I have to offer her.
“Jeeeeesus” she exhales as she lies back on my futon, stuffed to the brim with melted cheese and dough.
“Yeah” I agree with her sentiment, as I sink down beside her.
We lay like this in comfortable silence until my eye lids get heavy and a yawn erupts from my lips, immediately being caught and replicated by Blair.
“Think it’s time we both got our beauty sleep” she says, easing herself up sleepily and exiting to her room, “night” I sigh before dissolving into more welcome dreams, of Carlos as a night in shining armour, just for me.
After a ridiculously long lie in I wake feeling better, I still have the headache but it’s not as severe, the individual bruises still smart a bit on contact with anything, but the generalised aching and stiffness is easing nicely.
Still, Blair and John insist I do not raise one finger today, instead ferrying me around in a wheelchair they got from reception; Blair shouting orders to John every five minutes to fetch us drinks, or food, or magazines, or anything we could possibly want for.
After lunch, Blair and I head to the Spa, she insists that a swim and a steam are just what I need to banish and residual muscle pain; I’m skeptical after my first experience, being leered at is anything but relaxing, but when we arrive I find Blair has booked out the whole pool area for an hour.
I had no idea you could even do that, but I’ve learned by now that when it comes to spending money, there is no point disagreeing with Blair, so instead we slip into the pool and float about enjoying the quiet space she has created.
We stay like this, moving occasionally from Sauna to Steam room, then back to pool, our limbs increasingly becoming heavy under the relaxing influence of each room, until our hour is up.
Once we are showered and changed back into our clothes I offer to walk back, knowing that Blair must feel as fatigued as I do after our lazy day, but she waves her hand dismissively towards me giving the seat a pat and telling me to sit myself down.
I do as I’m told and we slowly weave back through the winding paths around the gardens that surround each apartment block, pointing out exotic birds and stopping to sniff the most colourful flowers as we go.
There’s something inanely comfortable about Blair; she is beautiful and thin, but does not appear to put any effort into maintaining it, she is full of boundless excitement which in anyone else would become irritating after a while, but yet somehow she is so enchanting, you just couldn’t dislike her for a second, even if you were actively trying to.
She is generous without question and I have never had the slightest impression that she is judging me, which is a rare quality in any person.
I am starting to realise that it will be a sad day when I go home, but not just for leaving Carlos, I really feel like I’ve found a friend in Blair, but the duration of our friendship is inevitably limited.
We spend the rest of the afternoon back at Blair’s room, John quickly escaping to the bar away from our girly talk; she gives me a makeover, covering as best she can the bruise still visible on my cheek.
She then braids a French plait, starting from one ear and encircling my whole head, effectively taming my unruly mane, for the time being at least.
Dressing me in one of her own ankle length powder blue skirts and a simple v-neck white top with ¾ length sleeves, she succeeds in hiding the worst of my injuries.
Admiring my reflection once she is done, I actually feel graceful, makeovers are clearly just another string to Blair’s already impressive bow.
Now for the difficult bit, “Blair, when Carlos arrives, I really don’t want to be wheelchair bound”
“Don’t be silly, you’ve been hurt, he will understand” comes her no-nonsense reply.
“Why are you all so desperate to make me an invalid?” I laugh to downplay my growing frustration “I feel fine, really! And you’ve done such a good job prettying me up, I don’t want to look like a fool in that clumpy thing, when my legs work perfectly fine, please Blair?” I add a whiny please to the original flattery ploy, to try and persuade her. She cocks her head to one side eying me suspiciously; I do a little skip on the spot to hammer the point home.
“Oh alright, I guess if you can do that you can walk” she giggles at my efforts as she collapses the chair and props it against the far wall.
“Thank you Blair, you’ve been a star these last couple of days”
“It’s been my pleasure”
Just as we are hugging it out, there is a knock at the door; we break apart just far enough to monitor each others matching grins, before Blair gives my hair and clothes one final smooth down, followed by a thumbs up as she goes to open the door.
She opens it reservedly so I can’t see if it is him or not, his smooth voice gives the game away however. “Good evening, you must be Blair?”
She smiles and nods, opening the door wider and signalling him to come in.
As he steps into the room his eyes instantly find mine, his face lighting up as he takes me gently into his arms.
“How are you sweet?” he whispers into my ear as we embrace.
“Much better now” I reply, staring into his sparkling eyes.
He turns duly to Blair, “I can’t thank you enough for looking after her for me, if there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable, please let me know” his impeccable manners and charm leaving her all but speechless, this must be a first for her.
I suggest we all meet for dinner tomorrow evening which is met with plenty of nods and agreement, we then politely excuse ourselves and head back to my room.
On the walk back we can barely keep our hands off each other, stopping periodically to kiss passionately and let our fingers roam across each others bodies as much as we dare to in relatively crowded public places.
He’s holding a paper bag which keeps clumsily bumping against me when we kiss, the curiosity is killing me as to what’s inside, but he has not volunteered the information and I’m hoping it might be a present for me, so I hold my tongue.
Stumbling in through my door we barely stay standing as our tangled limbs inhibit our ability to walk. Carlos grabs the back of my thighs with a satisfying slap and lifts me into his arms, walking forward and laying me down on the bed, kissing my forehead he asks “are you sure your OK?” he seems so desperate to help I pity him “I’m fine, but my head is a little sore, I could do with a paracetamol, there’s some in the cabinet in the bathroom, would you mind fetching them for me?” I ask, playing the damsel in distress. He rises on queue heading straight to the bathroom, but subtly bending to pick up his paper bag on the way past, “What are you up to?” I ask him, the curiosity killing me.
“Just you wait and see…” he flashes me a cheeky grin and gives a wink in my direction as he closes the door behind him.
There’s little point trying to guess what he is doing, it could be anything, the only thing I do know is that the surprise is even more exciting than his arrival.
Ten minutes pass before I hear the bathroom door creak open, turning expectantly towards it I’m greeted with an extraordinary sight.
Carlos emerges, dressed in a skin tight, white pvc,female, kinky nurses outfit. Striking a pose, the tablets and a glass of water in one hand, the other outstretched above his head with a flourish, he then proceeds to flounce exaggeratedly towards me, swishing his hips from side to side as he goes.
As he closes in I notice that the dress is far too short for his muscular stature, leaving him entirely exposed, his erection clear to see at eye level as I lie on the bed, transfixed.
It takes every ounce of will power I have to keep a straight face; but when he leans down, placing one hand on my forehead and utters, in his most sensual voice “my my, you are sooo hot” I break, falling about in hysterics.
“OH MY GOD! What are you wearing!?”
“You like?” he asks giving me a twirl, so I can see his bum cheeks unconcealed by the hem line, “I picked it up on the way here, thought you could do with a laugh”
I’m trying hard to compose myself, he looks hilarious, “I can’t believe you did this, but you’re certainly rocking the sexy nurse look” I give an exaggerated stare at his penis, still standing to attention.
“So, do I get a reward for my efforts?” he asks thrusting his hips towards my face. “I guess you did earn it” I manage to say it in a sultry voice. I grasp his cock with both hands, distracting myself from his outfit so I don’t keep laughing. Keeping my eyes locked on his I lower my mouth, starting at the base I lick right up to the tip, pausing to swirl my tongue around the head, before placing my lips around it and pushing down. As I take him deeper into my mouth I flick my tongue around increasing the sensation; his body relaxes, his head falls back, pushing his hips up so his slips in further.
I take as much as I can, the tip of his cock at the back of my throat, but there is still a good two inches more; so with one hand, I wrap my fingers around it, massaging in time to my lips moving up and down the shaft and with my other hand I cradle his balls. His gasp letting me know he’s enjoying it.
I pull back up until it’s just the head left in my mouth, using my tongue to explore it while I suck harder, now using both hands to run up the length of him. I squeeze my finger and thumb on either side grasping him firmly as I run them up to meet my lips, parting them slightly so my fingers join my tongue in teasing him, then back down again; each time I let my mouth follow them back down, a little at first, but further each time.
I twist my head from side to side as I go, this time reaching the halfway point, but instead I don’t stop, forcing him back inside my mouth and taking a little more of him than I had managed before. “Oh, Kate!” he shouts grabbing my hair in his hands and holding us, locked in this position, his cock filling my mouth and throat, for a few seconds, before releasing me and pulling away, “I need you now” he begs.
“So take me” I command, already wet from my obvious success in pleasuring him.
In a heartbeat he is on top of me ripping my pants off, while he’s still clad in leather, I hoist the hem line up to his waist so I can grab his buttocks, digging my nails into them as he penetrates me. It’s swift and hard, taking no mercy; it’s a pain mixed with intense pleasure that makes me dizzy “Ahhhh” we both cry out together, stilling for a moment so we can become accustomed to the sensation, before pulling back and starting up a slower rhythm. As soon as I have recovered from the initial pounding enough to feel my arms and legs again, I sit up placing my hands on his chest a pushing him back, he instantly knows where I’m heading and without hesitation, weaves one arm around my waist and spins us so I am straddling him.
His little nurses uniform was exactly what I needed, if he is comfortable enough to come to me looking like that, then I can definitely afford to be a little more adventurous too.
I start to move, tentatively at first, but then he places his hands on my hips guiding me up and down with more momento, until I pick up the pace. I begin to grind my hips in a circle each time our bodies meet, he matches my style and starts to move his in the opposite direction so that each time I can feel every inch of him inside me, the pressure it creates is addictive and soon I’m moving without consciously thinking about what I’m doing, instead just becoming a slave to my own pleasure. Leaning back I place my hands on either side of his knees and arch my back, creating a whole new sensation to explore, it feels great, but I want more intensity, so I bring my knees up until I’m resting on my feet, effectively squatting over him.
On queue he slips his arms between my legs so his hands cup my buttocks, taking a lot of my weight off my own legs. I move my body forward so I am upright again, now placing my hands next to my feet for balance and slowly start to move my hips. I gasp as I lower myself down, I really have achieved the level of intensity I was looking for, and much much more besides. It’s as if so far I’d only been taking half of his length inside me, it now seems like forever until our bodies meet again. As we come together the second time he flexes at the last minute giving me even more than I was expecting, “oh, Carlos yes!” I cry out, he takes my enjoyment and blows it out the water, lifting my buttocks a few inches up he moves his hips at lightening speeds, ramming into me over and over, I couldn’t hope to keep up so I just stay still while he takes control; he’s so fast and hard I can feel my body melting, but I must stay on my feet or I’ll loose the impending orgasm, I cry out again and again, letting him know I’m close begging him to keep going, “I’m going to cum” he warns
“Me too” I manage just as it hits me, my muscles clenching around him finishes him off and he shouts my name as he cums inside me. He lets go of me so I can relax back down onto my knees, collapsing on top of him, panting together as our heart rates slowly return to normal.
We lie together both still almost fully clothed; my head cradled against his pvc clad shoulder, his arm draped over me, while I run my fingers over the squeaky material, by now suctioned onto his chest from sweat.
“Maybe next time I should wear this” I tease him.
Batting my hand away playfully, “Oi, get your own, this ones mine!” he retorts, hugging his arm tighter around me.
He never questions my reluctance to be naked, by all accounts he just wholeheartedly accepts it. In a way I’m glad, but I know if he did attempt it I would just let him, I would be insanely uncomfortable, and not half so willing to be anywhere but missionary, but I would let him undress me, if that’s what it took to keep him happy and interested.
“Ahem” I practice verbalising my thoughts by clearing my throat, he turns his face towards me, but says nothing.
“Carlos?” I’m going to have to do better than one word at a time.
“Hmmmm?”
“How come you never try and undress me?” there it’s out. Followed by a torturing silence as he mulls over my question.
“Well, I get the impression you might not want me to?”
He slides onto his side, dropping my head gently onto the pillow so we are face to face; oh no! I was only just coping with addressing this conversation to his chest, I’m not sure I can do it while staring into his curious eyes.
“Umm, I don’t know, I guess it makes me nervous, it’s been a long while since anyone but my husband has seen me naked, and even then it’s been a long time since I felt attractive around him” now I’ve started it’s hard to find the right words to explain this to someone; especially someone that has never, and probably will never, be in the same position.
“I get it, it’s a huge thing for you to be doing this with me, I understand, truly. And look how much you’ve come out your shell already!” he has a knack for saying the exact right thing, “look, don’t get me wrong, I would love to get you in my arms completely naked and trace every inch of your body, but I wantyou to want that, not just do it because you think you have to. It will happen when your ready and in the mean time I’m having loads of fun getting there.” With that he pulls me against him, running kisses all over my face, culminating on my lips, I lean in kissing him with gratitude after his perfect answer to my delicate question; as I run my hand over his side, towards his back, the friction causes the pvc to squeak loudly under the pressure, it completely ruins the romance, but sends us into fits of giggles.
We wake late, Carlos spooning behind me, his head buried in my hair, now coming loose out of its braid, in the most ungraceful manner. By now I’m in an old t-shirt and Carlos is naked, his outfit from last night long since peeled off and strewn on the floor.
I go to stretch out my stiff limbs, but his grip round me is so tight even in sleep that I can barely move an inch. My wriggling rouses him, for a second he pulls me even tighter into him, before releasing entirely, rolling onto his back and stretching every limb out in opposite directions. Letting out a yawn, his body relaxes and then curls back in to me, his morning glory pressing into my back. “hmmm, morning you” I murmur arching my back and pressing my back side into it.
“Morning sweet” he whispers back giving a little thrust of his hips that makes me squeal. His hands start roaming all over me, but still suddenly as there is a knock at the door.
Frowning I look towards the clock, its 9.30am, I shrug at Carlos who is looking at me with a questioning look, “Let’s just stay quiet and maybe whoever it is will go away?”
We cling tightly to each other as if taking up less room might somehow hide us from whoever is on the other side of the door.
Another knock, but this time accompanied by a disembodied voice “Kate? Are you there? It’s Jake” Oh God no! I leap from the bed, Carlos now thoroughly confused, “Jake? As in your husband, Jake?” he whispers urgently.
I nod, “I’m sorry, it’s a long story I was going to tell you, let me get rid of him and I’ll explain, I promise” I say hurriedly as I pull on a dressing gown. Going to the door I open it and inch, finding Jake on the doorstep holding out a bunch of flowers. “This is not a good time” I hiss at him.
“I just thought that maybe we could speak again today?” he gives me his best hurt puppy look.
“No Jake. I’ve said all I want to say to you so just go back home and leave me alone ok?”
“Kate! For gods sake will you just drop this moody bullshit and talk to me?” his tone turning harsh, so much for his pitiful act, here comes the real Jake.
Before I can respond the door is yanked open from behind me, Carlos steps out, completely naked, towering over Jake, his hands fisted at his sides, face burning red, “She asked you to leave” his voice is barely louder than a whisper through clenched teeth. His brazen disregard for his own nakedness making him all the more intimidating, all I can do is stand aside, open mouthed.
Jake's hands raise up defensively “OK, OK” he says, but then turns to me “I’ll speak to you later” he says defiantly before leaving.
Swinging the door closed I exhale, my shoulders slumping, I suddenly feel unsteady on my feet, Carlos steps forward, wrapping his arms around me, “Your shaking” he says, stroking my hair.
“It’s a lot of drama for this early in the morning”
“So, that’s the husband huh?”
“Ex-husband” I correct him.
“I can see why, that guys a douche.”
“Tell me about it!”
Carlos slips his arm around my shoulders and leads me back to the bed, sitting me down on it, “Or how aboutyoutellme?” he asks.
I curl up under his arm, lifting my legs over him, as if by doing this I could stop him from leaving me once I’ve told him.
I explain what happened while he was away, Jake turning up, what we said to each other, how I had hoped he had gone home, watching Carlos’s jaw tighten intermittently throughout.
My heart sinks, he’s realising it now, I come with baggage; baggage that won’t just be packed away in my past, but instead follows me round like a bad smell. I can hear the conversation that’s coming, he didn’t sign up for this, he’s not ready for this kind of commitment, it’s not you it’s me.
The usual speech, just the first time I’ve had to be on the receiving end of it. Someone should really hand out a manual to divorcees, ‘what to expect when you start dating’, so we don’t get our hopes up that it will all be as rosy and sugar coated as we tell ourselves.
As I come to the end of my explanation I can feel the lump forming in my throat, but I swallow it down, the last thing I want is to make him feel like he can’t be honest, just because I’m blubbing like a baby.
I begin to pull my legs off him, making his escape easier, his hand grips my thigh, pulling my leg back over him.
“Where do you think you’re gong?” he asks, giving me an award winning smile.
“I just thought, with all this…..you might want to….you know…..run a mile. And I wouldn’t blame you, in fact I completely understand….if that’s what you want to do” I’m all stutters and insecurity.
He leans over, planting a long, soft kiss on my lips, “that is the last thing I would ever want to do” my heart skips a beat, I hadn’t allowed myself to believe he might not want to run, this is so unexpected, so beautifully, perfectly, magically unexpected; I throw my arms around his neck, knocking us both back onto the bed, “really?” I ask, not making any attempt to keep the exhilaration from my voice.
“Really, really” he replies, covering me in kisses, “now, where were we?” he asks, nuzzling my neck and running his hand up my thigh….
We are still in bed by mid afternoon, “shouldn’t you be working?” I question him as the clock passes 16.00.
“Yes” he replies simply, “I should be, but I can’t exactly drag you into the office and have my wicked way with you there, so work will just have to wait.”
“Indefinitely?”
“Yep” he is brilliantly stubborn, but if it means I get more time in bed with his naked self, then I think I can learn to live with it.
“As much as I love the idea of staying in bed forever, I could really do with eating at some point today?” I test the waters.
“Room service?” he fires back.
“I was thinking more dinner with Blair and John?”
“Aaawwww” he whines dejectedly.
“I know, staying in bed with you for the foreseeable future is great, but I also want to show you off, my knight in shining armour,And you did suggest it to Blair yesterday, so we really should” I add in the last bit, knowing he is too polite to go back on his word.
“Oh alright” he pouts like a toddler getting a telling off, “we best make this time count then” his expression changing in an instant to an impish grin, he pounces on me, his fingers tickling my sides, as I shriek, helpless against his onslaught.
It’s 18.00 before he finally relents and lets me ring Blair, almost guaranteeing they will have already made plans for tonight’s dinner; but happily she said they were only just talking about what they wanted to do for dinner, so they were more than happy to join us. We agree to give it an hour or so, giving us all time to spruce up, then meet at the beachside bar for a leisurely dinner.
It’s not until I emerge from the shower that it occurs to me that Jake is probably still in the resort somewhere, I voice my concerns to Carlos, “if you like I can call and get security to chuck him out?” he offers.
“I don’t think that’s necessary, I’m not afraid of him, I just don’t want him to cause a scene”
“I don’t think, after this morning, he’d be stupid enough to try and approach you, at least while you’re with me?” he states, curling his arm up in front of him and flexing his biceps at me. Smiling I shake my head at him in mock disapproval, “put it away” I say whipping his thigh with the corner of the towel, he yelps playfully and skips into the bathroom for a quick shower while I get dressed.
We arrive at the bar by twenty past seven, finding Blair and John already seated on a table at the back, with a large jug of cocktails at the ready.
As we sit down John starts pouring the colourful mixture into my glass, earning me an amused nudge from Carlos to remind me of my shameful behaviour last time I partook in these lethal concoctions.
I flush red and give him a disapproving look, silently warning him not to re-tell that story in public.
Looking away from him, I catch Blair watching us intently, she gives me a huge smile and a knowing wink, then declares we should order on account of her being starving.
Out of ease we go for a Moroccan themed tapas option and are quickly served up numerous plates, containing various exotic treats, from hummus, to vine leaves, to sausages, a feast fit for a king.
We dig in, chatting between mouthfuls, everyone getting on marvellously, despite Blair’s frank questioning of Carlos’s intentions, “So things are getting serious between the two of you?” she aims at him, I shoot her a glare for asking a question I have been too afraid to breach.
“It’s early days yet, but it’s going brilliantly so far” he answers unflustered. She is suitably impressed.
After a few glasses of cocktails I excuse myself to ‘powder my nose’ and Blair willingly accompanies me; once in the safety of the bathroom she gives me an excited squeeze, equaling my own delight about my blossoming relationship. I fill her in on the Jake situation, as she gasps in shock and then jumps for joy squealing as I relay the part Carlos played and the consequent talk with him after.
“That’s so romantic!” she croons, “You’re so lucky!”
“I know!” I giggle, holding her hands in mine as we jump up and down together, “Come on, let’s get back before they start wondering where we are”
We return to the table thick as thieves and continue to down far too many cocktails.
The evening flies by in a hazy, tipsy blur. A local band starts up later in the evening and no sooner have they strummed out the first note has Blair dragged my up to dance; if I was more sober I would have been mortified, but in my half cut state I’m tricked into believing we look good throwing down shapes on the dance floor.
After a couple of songs people slowly start to filter in and join us and eventually John and Carlos follow. Blair and I split up and link with our respective partners for a spin; Carlos places one hand on the small of my back and offers his other for me to hold, he guides me round the dance floor, skimming past the other couples with ease, yet somehow never taking his eyes from mine. He steps back from me and with a whip of his wrist sends me twirling under his arm, then drags me back against his body, before continuing another circuit of the floor; I feel dizzy and uncoordinated, not one step I take is controlled by me, it’s all Carlos, his strong arms carry me from step to step, dipping me majestically when the music calls for it.
I feel so light, if I close my eyes it’s like I’m flying; all I am aware of is the warm breeze against my skin and Carlos’s body close to mine.
I allow myself a rare opportunity, to give into my growing lust for this man and just let myself imagine for a moment that we are madly in love with each other, that this is the first dance at our wedding; that we have just sworn to be together forever and now we dance as if we are the only to people in the world.
The music stops abruptly bringing my fantasy crashing down around me, I open my eyes feeling forlorn at the loss of my day dream, to be met with the real life thing; Carlos looking longingly at me, his green eyes sparkling in the candle light, his curly hair slipping down across his face. I reach up and tuck it behind his ear, my fingers grazing his soft, sun-kissed skin, feeling the contrast of stubble along his jaw line as my hand drops back down.
“Are you OK?” he asks, concerned about my sudden melancholy.
“I’ve never been better” I say truthfully, burying my face against his neck.
He lifts his arm to get Blair and John’s attention and mouths to them, over the crowd, that he is going to take me home, they nod and wave in agreement, Blair blowing me a goodnight kiss.
“Where are we going?” I enquire as he walks me away from the bar.
“I’m putting you to bed”
“Oh really?” I ask, perking up at the prospect.
“Not like that, unfortunately I do have to do some work tomorrow and if I go to bed with you tonight, I won’t get anything done again!”
“What if I promise to throw you out in the morning?” I bargain with him.
“Ha! Really?” he asks sarcastically.
“Yes really, I have will power, I can abstain and throw you out, no problem” I reply confidently. As we turn the corner towards my apartment, he grabs me, pushing me roughly against the wall, surprising me with a fiery kiss, as he runs his hand up my inner thigh. As his hand rises my knees bend to meet it, but as quickly as he started he pulls away from the kiss and stills his hand, less than a centimetre from its summit, “resist me can you?” he says with a smug look on his face.
Realisation dawns on the cruel game he is playing here, “Well come on, that’s hardly fair!”
He gives a little chuckle, “I guess not, but still, I think I made my point” he claims, no less pleased with himself.
Taking my hand he pulls me away from the wall and we continue on, I purposely dawdle to prolong every last second that he’s with me.
At my door I do my best to get him to change his mind “Are you sure you can’t come in? Even just for a little while?” I beg draping myself over him.
“Oh you are a temptress!.......But no I really can’t……… I’ll get up early and then hopefully……… I will get all my work done……. by early afternoon…….. and then I can come over and pleasure you, sweetness” he says each word in amongst kissing my neck, making it all the more frustrating.
I moan, clinging tighter around his shoulders, irritated by his lack of folding on the issue.
“I know sweet, I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow, how about I take you to lunch?”
I frown like a spoiled child and shrug my shoulders, unimpressed.
“How about I bring lunch here and we eat it together in bed, naked?” he tries again.
A smile breaks across my face, “Ok, deal!” I agree, getting one last kiss before he leaves; I watch him from the door way until he turns the corner out of sight then close the door and skip across the room hugging myself with glee.
I barely sleep all night, not for anything negative, but because I am so happy, it’s as though I have pure joy coursing through my veins, a permanent grin plastered on my face, making my cheeks ache under the strain.
I jump out of bed as soon as the sun rises; I just can’t sit still a moment longer.
I potter around busying myself with showering and a beautifying regime, urging the time to go by faster, until I see Carlos again.
It’s 8am when there’s a knock at my door. I literally sprint over to open it, silently pleading with the Gods that it’s him.
My disappointment is palpable as I come face to face with Jake. “Are you serious? Why won’t you leave?” I snap at him, exhausted by his perseverance.
“Is he here?” is all he has to say.
“No, but he’s coming by shortly” I lie, “so make it quick”
“I saw you with him last night at the bar, he looked very cozy pawing my wife” he sneers.
Something in me snaps and my voice takes on a shrill decibel “What the f*ck? So you’re spying on me now? And I am not your wife, I stopped being yours when you knocked up your secretary!”
His jaw drops at that revelation, “Yeah I know all about it, you got her pregnant and then came running back to me like the slimy bastard you are!”
“F*cking Phil” he mumbles, when he dares to look up again his eyes blaze in a way I have never seen before, for a second I am frozen to the spot and he immediately seizes this opportunity to barge past me into the room.
“Jake! What are you doing?” his intrusion quickly brings back my fury.
“She’s a stupid bitch” he seethes, “she did it on purpose to trap me, told me she couldn’t have any more kids. I left her because she was a liar, not because she got pregnant.”
“Good for you, what do you want a medal for chivalry?” my words dripping with sarcasm “Now get out!”. He turns towards me grabbing my upper arms in a vice like grip, pinning them to my sides, “Ah! Your hurting me, let go!” I shout, shocked at his brutality.
“No, not until you understand” he growls back, “it was a mistake, a stupid mistake, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you before you get it you thick cow!” with each word he is shaking me roughly, his fingers digging into my flesh harder each time; my mind is racing, I’ve never known him to be like this, he always had a short fuse, but he’s never laid a hand on me before.
“Jake please let go, you’re scaring me” I plead, tears starting to well up and spill down my cheeks.
“I don’t want to scare you Kate, really I don’t, but you need to do something for me” his voice has turned into an eerie calm tone, but his grip has not lessened even slightly.
“What?” I am whimpering now.
“You need to leave that jumped up prick that’s been hanging around you and come home with me where you belong, OK?” he starts to shake me again, emphasising each word he says, he’s acting like a psychopath, I’ve never been so scared in my life; I feel helpless, with my arms still pinned I can’t run or fight back, although he doesn’t come close to Carlos’s build, he still overpowers me with little effort.
“Jake, it doesn’t matter if I leave him or not, I still can’t be with you, it’s over” I say it as softly as I can between sobs; he’s broken me down too many times before, it no longer matters what he does to me, I just can’t let myself back down on this.
“AAARRRRR!” a strangled yell comes from deep within him as he launches me across the room; I fall, skidding across the floor and colliding head first into the wall. Pain explodes in my temple, my vision blurring, I blink rapidly to bring it back into focus, I need to keep my wits about me. Looking up Jake is stood in the middle of the room, his chest heaving, fists clenched and jaw grinding, he stares at me with contempt; there is nothing within reach, no weapon, no heavy object, the pain in my head is throbbing wildly, my arms weak from his grasp on them, I’m completely vulnerable, shaking in a collapsed heap on the floor.
He takes a step towards me, instinctively I raise my arms to cover my face, a yelp escaping my lips. I can see his feet turn away from me and lower my arms in time to see him stalk out of the room. Adrenalin kicks in and I leap up running across the room, ignoring the screaming pain and slam the door shut, locking it securely before sinking to the ground.
My breathing is ragged, my limbs trembling uncontrollably, dizziness threatening to pull down the shutters on my consciousness at any given moment.
I drag myself slowly across the floor, every inch excruciating, my vision sporadically blurring in and out of focus. Picking up the phone and dialling for reception I hear a voice I don’t recognise, and weakly ask for Carlos’s room number, giving my name, while I’m on hold I notice a strange sensation on my face, reaching up I touch my fingers gingerly to my temple, then pull them away to inspect the evidence; blood coats my hand in thick rivers and the room begins to spin heavily around me. Carlos’s voice floats quietly as if he is speaking from somewhere far away “Morning sweetness”.
“Carlos” I breathe, as I succumb to darkness.