Something inside Colin fluttered, both at her words and her outburst that showed renewed strength. Was that really how she saw him?
Agent MacDonald couldn’t accept this, as proven by her pursed lips. “Let me ask you this, then,” the woman said to Angela. “What do you want from him?”
Angela said nothing, only stared at the table, taking steady breaths.
Agent MacDonald prompted her. “Do you just want him to be near you, forever? To keep you safe? Do you want to spend your life thanking him? Perhaps with your body?”
Colin tensed. The way she said that, as if accusing and judging Angela made him see red with rage.
“That’s enough,” he said.
“I’m only just beginning,” she said. “The two of you need a serious reality check.”
“Not like this.” Colin stood. “It’s time for you to leave.”
“Excuse me?” Agent MacDonald stood, as well, a challenging look on her face.
“You heard me. You’re not helping the situation. Only making things worse. I want you to leave.”
“You are making a grave mistake.”
“Now.”
Colin could tell by her puffed up chest and clenched fists that she wasn’t accustomed to taking orders. But she could likely tell by the unflinching glare of his eyes that he would not back down.
“Abernathy will be hearing about this.” She clinked her heels from the room, and Colin followed to show her out. She turned at the door and pointed a finger at his chest. “That girl believes she’s in love with you! It’s completely irresponsible for you to allow this to continue.”
He wanted to argue with her, but the problem was he knew she was right. He felt like a gobshite at any given moment for not wanting to let her go, but he couldn’t.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she continued. “That you can have a future of some sort together, but it will be a mockery of a relationship. What kind of man pursues a traumatized woman who’s been so poorly used that she can never hope for a normal life?”
Colin stepped closer, keeping his voice low, and watched the Agent’s breathing quicken.
“The kind of man who cares for said woman, and wants to help her find that ‘normal life’ you believe she can never have.”
“You’re just as emotionally disturbed as she is!”
“Well then we make a nice pair.”
Agent MacDonald looked him square in the eye with a malicious gleam. “Are you intimidated by strong women, Agent Douglas? Afraid you can’t handle one like me who’s actually got her act together? You want the weak ones who will cave to your will?”
Colin briefly allowed himself to envision taking this woman over his knee. It would do her some good. Instead he said, “Angela Birch is the strongest woman I know. And yes. She intimidates the fuck out of me.”
He opened the door and gestured for her to exit. Angry fire lit Agent MacDonald’s face as she stomped past him. He shut the door, locking it behind her with relish.
When he turned he caught sight of Angela standing at the edge of the hall, watching him. How much had she heard? He started to call her name, but she turned and rushed away.
Colin cursed, and ran to catch her, but she was down the hall, closing the door to her room. He went to her door, placing his palms and forehead against it.
“Angela…can we talk, lass?” He had no idea what to say. No idea what to do. What did he expect from her? What did he want for the future? Was the psych Agent correct in her assessment of his complete fucked-up-ness for having all of these feelings he couldn’t understand for the girl he’d saved?
The door slowly and quietly opened, making his blood pump and nerves dance.
Angela’s eyes were down as he came in and closed the door.
“Will you talk to me?” he asked.
She gave a small shrug. “What do you want me to say? Nobody takes me seriously.”
All lines of right and wrong had been blurred and gray since he met Angela, and he still didn’t know what to believe or think. All he knew was that she’d gotten to a place inside him that nobody else ever had. A place he hadn’t even known he had.
“I…fuck. I want to know you. To know what you’re feeling.”
“I already told you.”
I love you.
“Look at me,” Colin whispered. Her pretty eyes raised to his. “Please understand that I’m questioning every single thing in my life right now. All that I did to rescue you—I’d do it all again to save you, but I can’t help but wonder if I could have done things differently.”
“You couldn’t have.” A tremble of emotion was in her voice. “It was dangerous for you not to have sex with me—real sex. You don’t have to question that anymore.”