“That doesn’t sound bad. What’s wrong with it?”
I had to laugh to keep from feeling everything else.
“It means dog. My name was dog.” I took the dish Livvie had been washing from her hands and rinsed it before putting it in the dishwasher. I didn’t want to acknowledge her shock.
“Why would anyone…? The world is fucking disgusting.” She stopped washing dishes and put her arms around my waist from behind. “I think you’re a miracle, James. I think you deserve to be happy. We both do.”
I kept washing dishes.
“I don’t know if you’re right, Sophia. I know you deserve to be happy. I know you deserve someone… better, but I’m selfish. I want you. I want you bad enough to try and be someone better.
“That said, it wouldn’t surprise me if you decided it was too little, too late. I won’t be here a second longer than you want me to be. I promise.” I didn’t mention the part where I’d lose my fucking mind. I wasn’t sure what I would do if Livvie didn’t want to be with me. I didn’t necessarily have anything to go back to except killing and smuggling. Was I a better person? Maybe not. I was only better when I was living for her. I felt like a time-bomb.
“Then I’m selfish too, because I want you just as much. I know it’s been odd between us. How could it not be? We don’t know each other in this world, but I’ve seen you at your worst, and what I know is that you’d do anything to protect me. That’s enough for now. The rest will come.” She kissed my back and came back to the sink to continue washing.
“There’s not much to me, you know? Not much that’s good anyway. What else do you expect to learn?” I knew my expression wasn’t doing much to hide my frustration.
“I know we both like Harry Potter. I know you have to get drunk to meet my friends because you’re nervous. You pay attention when you’re not speaking and whenever you do, you add something to the conversation. You like to read as much as I do. I know I’ll never catch you in a pair of skinny jeans.” She laughed and bumped me with her hip. “I know you’re a quick learner. You killed it on guitar in just a few hours. You help with dishes. I’m learning a lot of things about you, James. I like it.”
“This is the part where I’d grab you and fuck you in front of the sink, but I have to be honest—I am stuffed! I can’t wait to put on a pair of lounging pants and take a nap.”
We laughed.
“That’s the turkey. It makes everyone sleepy. Tomorrow we get to eat leftovers all day. So good.” She looked at me sidelong and made her lips curve into a mischievous smile. “I’ll be sure to ask you to fuck me before I feed you.”
“Ask me?” I asked through a laugh. She’d never have to ask me.
“Beg you?” she purred.
My cock stirred.
“Well, I guess you do know me.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Do you have plans for Christmas?” I asked Livvie. She handed me a cup of coffee and took a sip of her own. The temperature had been dropping steadily, but the streets were still crowded with would-be shoppers. Livvie and I seemed a bit at odds with our surroundings due to our lack of shopping bags. She smiled at me brightly.
“Yes. I plan to spend the better part of the day super glued to your body.” She ran one of her mitten-clad hands down the front of my coat. I laughed.
“Well then, I’m looking forward to it already. I’ll be sure to giftwrap.” I tugged her close and kissed her more passionately than was appropriate in public. Her lips were cold but the inside of her mouth was warm and tasted faintly of coffee and sugar. “But I meant with other people. Are there people you have to see?”
A strange expression marred her features.
“No. It’s just us. Claudia and Rubio are each spending time with their families. They’re only going to see each other for part of the day because Rubio’s family lives in Madrid. Claudia invited us to go over to her mom’s house, but I didn’t figure you’d want to go. Honestly, I don’t feel like going either. We might all get together on Christmas Eve, though. Why do you ask?”
I took her hand and led her into the flow of bodies, making our way toward the next block of shopping. It had been her idea to go shopping, but Livvie had yet to purchase a single thing.
“I’ve never celebrated Christmas. I haven’t celebrated a lot of holidays, actually. I thought since I liked your Thanksgiving, I might… branch out.”