I knew I could get used to having him all to myself like this. Knew I wanted to. Which was impossible, of course.
Thousands of little pieces of him were committed to thousands of people and projects and commitments. If I’d learned anything from my mother’s multiple marriages to successful businessmen, it was that wives were often mistresses, almost invariably taking second place because their husbands were also married to their work. There was a reason why a man became a captain in his chosen field—he gave it his all. The woman in his life got what was left.
Gideon tucked my hair behind my ear. “I want this. Coming home to you.”
It always startled me when it seemed like he’d read my thoughts. “Would it have been better if you’d found me barefoot in the kitchen?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed, but naked in bed would work best for me.”
“I’m a decent cook, but you just want me for my body.”
He smiled. “It’s the very delicious package holding everything else I want.”
“I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.”
“Love to.” His fingertips slid gently down my cheek. “But first, I want to make sure you’re in the right frame of mind after the situation with your mother.”
“I’ll get over it.”
“Eva.” His tone warned me that he wouldn’t be put off.
I sighed. “I’ll forgive her, I always do. I don’t have a choice, really, because I love her and I know she means well, even if she is seriously misguided. But this thing with the watch …”
“Go on.”
I rubbed at the ache in my chest. “It broke something in our relationship. And no matter how we move forward, there’s always going to be that crack there that didn’t exist before. That’s what hurts.”
Gideon was quiet for a long time. One of his hands slid into my hair, while the other curled possessively over my hip. I waited for him to say what was on his mind.
“I broke something in our relationship, too,” he said finally, his voice somber. “I’m afraid it’s always going to be between us.”
The sadness in his eyes twisted into me, hurting me. “Let me up.”
He did, reluctantly, watching me warily as I stood. I hesitated before I unzipped my skirt. “Now I know what it feels like to lose you, Gideon. How badly it hurts. If you shut me out, it’s probably going to make me panic a little. You’ll just have to be careful of that, and I’ll just have to trust that your love is going to stick.”
He nodded his understanding and acceptance, but I could see it was eating at him.
“Magdalene came by today,” I said, to take his mind off the lingering rift between us.
He tensed. “I told her not to.”
“It’s okay. She was probably concerned about me nursing a grudge, but I think she realized I love you too much to hurt you.”
He sat up as I let my skirt drop. It pooled on the floor, revealing my garters and stockings, which earned me a slow hiss through his clenched teeth. I climbed back onto the couch and straddled his thighs, draping my arms around his neck. His breath was hot through the silk of my shirt, stirring my blood.
“Hey.” I ran both hands through his hair, nuzzling my cheek against him. “Stop worrying about us. I think we need to be worrying about Deanna Johnson. What’s the worst she could possibly dig up on you?”
His head fell back, his gaze narrowing. “She’s my problem. I’ll deal with her.”
“I think she’s after something really juicy. Calling you out as a heartless playboy isn’t going to be enough.”
“Stop worrying. The only reason I would care is because I don’t want my past shoved in your face.”
“You’re too confident.” My fingers went to his vest and began freeing the buttons. I exposed his shirt and removed his tie, draping it carefully over the back of the sofa. “Are you going to talk to her?”
“I’m going to ignore her.”
“Is that the right way to handle this?” I went to work on his shirt.
“She wants my attention; she’s not going to get it.”