“That’s not why I agreed to go!”
His hands came up and pushed through my hair, combing it back from my forehead and cheeks with a gentleness that brought tears to my eyes. “We can’t just forget the last few weeks, Eva. I cut you deep and you’re still bleeding.”
It struck me then that I hadn’t been ready to pick up the pieces of our relationship as if nothing had gone wrong. A part of me was holding a grudge, and Gideon had picked up on it.
I struggled out of his hold. “What are you saying?”
“That I have no right to leave you and hurt you—for whatever reason—then expect you to forget how that felt and forgive me overnight.”
“You killed a man for me!”
“You don’t owe me anything,” he snapped. “My love for you is not an obligation.”
It still tore through me like a bullet every time he said he loved me, despite how often he proved it with his actions.
My voice was softer when I said, “I don’t want to hurt you, Gideon.”
“Then don’t.” He kissed me with heartrending tenderness. “Let’s eat, before the food gets cold.”
I changed into a Cross Industries T-shirt and a pair of Gideon’s pajama bottoms that I rolled up at the ankles. We took candles over to the coffee table and ate cross-legged on the floor. Gideon kept my favorite sweater on but swapped his slacks for a pair of black lounging pants.
Licking a dab of tomato sauce off my lip, I told him about the rest of my day. “Mark’s gathering the nerve to ask his partner to marry him.”
“If I’m remembering correctly, they’ve been together awhile.”
“Since college.”
Gideon’s mouth curved. “I suppose it’s still a tough question to ask, even if the answer is a sure thing.”
I looked down at my plate. “Was Corinne nervous when she asked you?”
“Eva.” He waited until the lengthy silence brought my head up. “We’re not going to talk about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
I searched his face. “How would you feel if you knew there was someone out there I’d said yes to? Theoretically.”
He shot me an irritated look. “That would be different because you wouldn’t say yes unless the guy really meant something to you. What I felt was … panic. The feeling didn’t go away until she broke the engagement.”
“Did you buy her a ring?” The thought of him shopping for a ring for another woman hurt me. I looked down at my hand, at the ring he’d bought for me.
“Nothing like that one,” he said quietly.
My hand fisted, guarding it.
Reaching over, Gideon set his right hand over mine. “I bought Corinne’s ring in the first store I went to. I had nothing in mind, so I picked one that looked like her mother’s. Very different circumstances, don’t you agree?”
“Yes.” I hadn’t designed the ring Gideon wore, but I’d searched six shops before I found the right one. It was platinum studded with black diamonds, and it reminded me of my lover, with its cool masculine elegance and bold, dominant style.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wincing. “I’m an ass.”
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “So am I, on occasion.”
That made me grin. “I think Mark and Steven are perfect for each other, but Mark has this theory that men get the urge to marry, and then it goes away if it isn’t acted on quickly enough.”
“I would think it’d be more about the right partner than the right time.”
“I’ve got my fingers crossed for it to work out for them.” I picked up my wine. “Want to watch TV?”