chapter Fourteen
It was 5:30 a.m., and Shelly hadn’t gotten any sleep at all.
After she had gone back to the house, all the lights had been turned off, and it had been so quiet, you could have dropped a pin and heard it land. She had made her way upstairs and had been precariously close to knocking on Josh’s door. But, after her performance tonight, she didn’t think he would have welcomed her.
Instead, she had gone into her empty bedroom and climbed into a cold bed.
What the hell was I thinking, bringing him home with me? He didn’t know me, my problems, and more to the point, my family. Maybe that had been the whole point. She was finally realizing that she wanted him to know all of it.
A little happier with that conclusion, Shelly climbed out of bed and got ready to face the day. She needed to remind Josh that he wanted her, and then she would show him why he should like her.
Putting on a different pair of Daisy Dukes that were faded at the pockets, she paired it with a flowy white shirt that had long loose sleeves. Tucking in the shirt at her small waist, she then framed it with a brown leather belt. Leaving her blonde hair down, she pulled on her cowgirl boots and made her way downstairs.
When she reached the kitchen, she heard some movement and made her way toward it. Shelly stopped, waiting quietly at the door, and watched as her mother stood in front of the large bay windows that overlooked the back lot, scrubbing the big pots she must have used last night.
Her mother was humming softly as she worked with her hands in the sudsy water.
Shelly walked over toward her, and as her boots hit the tile, her mother turned to look over her shoulder. Stopping mid-stride, Shelly locked eyes with this woman whom she loved more than anyone else, even though the woman always managed to let her down in some fundamental way.
“Good mornin’, Shelly,” her mother said softly as she turned back to the sink. Gone was the use of “Shel,” which meant she was in trouble.
Sidling up beside her mother, she took the hand towel hanging over the rail and started to dry the dishes.
“Morning, Ma.”
The silence was awful.
It stretched and tightened like a taut rope with each breath Shelly took. Finally, when the air was pretty much suffocating her, Shelly asked, “So, where’s Father?”
Without looking her way, Shelly’s mother answered, “Your Father got called into the hospital. He’ll be gone most of the day.”
Before she thought better of it, Shelly muttered, “Typical.”
She heard the pot clang down, hitting the bottom of the stainless steel sink, as her mother whipped her head around to face her.
“What on earth has gotten into you, Shelly Monroe?” she demanded, taking a deep breath before shaking her head. Softly, in a tone that almost sounded defeated, she whispered, “I don’t remember raising such a rude and cruel young lady.”
Shelly couldn’t bring herself to look at her mother, so she continued staring out the window at nothing in particular.
“What did you hope to achieve with your lil’ performance last night?” her mother asked quietly. Her country accent was still present, but it was not as obvious when her emotions were tense. Her tone clipped and curt.
Swallowing, Shelly turned to look at the small lady beside her. She shrugged slowly, not wanting to speak.
“Not only did you embarrass yourself, but you managed to humiliate that lovely young man you brought here to meet us.” She paused and picked up the pot out of the sink, rinsing the suds from it before placing it in the drainer.
Finally, Shelly decided she needed to say something. “I just can’t stand the way he treats you, Ma.”
“That is none of your business, Shelly,” her mother stressed, looking at Shelly with annoyed eyes. Her mother blinked slowly and shook her head. Once again, her annoyance and disappointment were evident on her face. “Your opinion on my marriage does not count. Do ya hear me? And it certainly did not need to be announced across the dinner table in front of a guest.” She paused breathing hard. “For all your father has done to me in the past, he’s never humiliated me on purpose, like the way you did last night. He is discreet and—”
“And cheats!” Shelly yelled back. “He cheats on you, Ma! Over and over again. How can you let him keep coming back?”
Throwing the sponge into the sink, her mother wiped her hands and turned to face her daughter full on. Shelly straightened her spine, preparing for whatever was about to come her way.
For years, she had watched this woman let her husband emotionally destroy her. Shelly couldn’t comprehend why her mother let him get away with it for so many years.
“I will say this once, and then you’re to never speak of it with me again. Do I make myself clear?”
Shelly sharply nodded once and waited.
“Your father and I met when I was sixteen years old. Sixteen, Shelly. We dated and fell in love. It was wonderful, full of flowers an’ rainbows. That’s the way you think it should be, am I right?” She paused, and her shoulders slumped a little. Stepping closer to Shelly, she reached out and ran a finger down her daughter’s cheek. “You look so much like him.”
“Don’t.” Shelly muttered, pulling her face away from the touch. “I wish I looked nothing like him.”
Her mother shook her head. “I don’t. I look at you, Shel, and I see all the goodness that he was. When we fell in love, life was easy. We were young and had the rest of our lives ahead of us. But then, we grew up, and life changed. He went into a grueling medical program, and I got pregnant.”
“I’m so sorry,” Shelly snapped.
“Stop it,” her mother told her firmly, the strong Southern woman making an appearance. “Stop being so angry at him. I chose this life, Shelly. Me—not him. He has told me on numerous occasions that he’d look after me if I wanted to move on, but Shelly, I don’t want to. This is my life. It’s where you grew up not wanting or needing anything, and he’s my friend.”
Shaking her head, Shelly stood there looking at her mother, but all she could see was a stranger. Suddenly, everything crumbled down around Shelly’s shoulders. All the anger she had held for her father, thinking that he was the one destroying her mother’s dignity and her good name, now seemed misplaced. It had been her mother’s choice to stay this whole time. Shelly’s heart seemed to be splitting inside her chest. She felt pure betrayal from the woman who loved and raised her, teaching her to respect herself at all costs. How can someone voluntarily stay with a man who doesn’t want you?
“A friend?” Shelly finally sputtered. “He’s your husband, Ma. He’s supposed to love you and look after you and—”
“He does all of that,” she replied, taking a step closer.
She reached up and took Shelly’s face between her small palms. “Your father fell out of love with me a long time ago, Shelly. I know that because he told me. The problem is that I will always love him, so I’ll take any part of him I can. Friendship and companionship are what he offered—not to mention, stability for you.”
Shelly blinked once and felt her eyes welling up. “That’s no way to live, Ma. Everyone else gets to be happy except you? Don’t you want someone who loves you completely?”
Her mother’s eyes became glassy, and a tear slipped free, running down her cheek. “Of course, I did, you silly girl, and I had it. Do you really think anyone is lucky enough to find it twice? So, I took what I had and stored it away. Shelly, when I lay down at night and think about the man in the room next door to mine, I am still so happy I get to see him every day.”
Shelly felt tears streaming down her cheeks as her mother stood in front of her calmly explaining her loveless marriage.
How does someone survive that? How does someone not die from being so incredibly lonely?And how on earth can I not hate my father for not freeing my mother from all this pain and heartache? Why didn’t he push her to move on? Like he obviously did.
“Ma, don’t you think you would be happier to go and—”
“No,” she told Shelly firmly. “I’ve looked at this from all angles, my dear, for years, believe me. I know what people say about me. I know they whisper about how your father runs around, but he ain’t doing anything I don’t know about.” She paused and turned to face outside. She put her hands on the sink and leaned into it as though she needed it to help hold her up.
“At first, I figured I would be better if he left. He did for a couple of weeks, but it was so much worse. So, I invited him back into our lives and told him what I wanted and expected of him. And, Shel, he agreed and has done everything he said he would. How can I fault him for that?” Finally, her mother looked back at her. “I’m gonna to go out to the yard for a while but think about what I have told you, Shelly. You need to forgive him. He hasn’t done anything to you, and he certainly hasn’t done anything to me that I am unaware of. He loves you very much and is so very proud of you. He just hasn’t done what you wanted.” She stopped, the last tear falling over her cheek. “He just fell out of love, and that is not a crime.”
***
Josh stood at the bottom of the staircase just outside of the kitchen as the back door slapped shut. He had come downstairs around ten minutes ago and had heard two voices. He had turned to make his way toward them when he had heard Shelly crying.
Holy shit, Josh thought as he ran a hand through his hair. How on earth does a daughter comprehend what Shelly’s mother just told her?
Mutley, of course, took that moment to bark. Josh looked down at his dog and shook his head. “Thanks buddy,” he muttered as he walked forward.
He came through the kitchen door to see Shelly facing him with tears on her cheeks and a lopsided smile on her face. She stared down at the dog sitting by his side.
“Did he just out you?” she asked him, gesturing to Mutley with her chin.
Josh gave a half smile as he walked toward her. “Pretty much.” He stopped in front of her, reaching up to trace her wet cheek with his index finger. “You okay?”
He watched as she shook her head, and then she leaned her face into his palm. He cupped the cool cheek nuzzling his hand while her wet blue eyes looked up at him with tears shimmering, threatening to spill over.
“Not really. How much did you hear?”
Josh grimaced, and then whispered, “Enough. I’m really sorry, Shelly.”
He watched her shrug.
“Not much I can do about it, right? It’s her choice.”
Josh dropped his hand, stroking it down her arm, and entwined their fingers together, squeezing gently.
“Yes, it’s her choice, but it couldn’t have been easy hearing all of that. Does it make you feel any different toward your father?”
Josh watched her take a deep breath. She looked at their fingers, and then back up to him.
“I’m not sure. I wish I could ask him what happened, you know? Why did he stop loving her? What changed for him?”
She paused, and Josh took a step closer, so she had to stand up straight. He reached up with his free hand, cupping her chin. Tipping up her face to his, he leaned in and gently kissed her lips.
“Maybe he wouldn’t have an answer for you, but you won’t know unless you ask. Then, maybe you can start to forgive him.”
She shook her head and asked softly, “How would I even begin to ask that? I’m so disappointed and sad right now.”
Josh sighed, dropping the hand at her chin to grip her other fingers as well.
“Disappointed in whom? Your mother?”
“Both of them! I’m angry and disappointed in both of them!” she fumed as Josh held her hands. “How dare they do that to a child. I never knew any of that. I never knew this was a cozy understanding they shared while I was working with the women he was having his freedom with,” she told Josh angrily. “Sure, Ma got to stay at home and avoid those awkward moments. I had to work with these women. I still cannot forgive him for that.”
Josh tugged her to him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
“You wouldn’t do something like that,” she whispered into his chest.
“No, I wouldn’t,” he replied, kissing the top of her head.
“You wouldn’t even have sex with me when I asked you to.”
Josh choked out a rumbling laugh. “Oh, I wanted to, Georgia.”
“Yeah?”
Josh ran one hand down her hair as he replied, “Oh yeah. I dreamed about how good you tasted all night.”
***
Shelly leaned back, looking up at him. “I’m sorry I used you last night.”
He looked down at her with understanding eyes. “I know you are.”
Shelly then snuggled back into his chest and took a deep breath. “You’re making it so easy to fall for you, Josh,” she whispered.
His arms tightened around her as he replied softly, “Is that such a bad thing, Georgia?”
Shelly placed a palm on his chest and felt his heart beating strong. “I’m not sure yet,” she told him.
He placed his lips against her head, giving her a gentle kiss, and then he whispered, “Take a chance, Shel. I’m not going to hurt you, use you, or take any part of you for granted.” He ran a hand down her hair and lightly squeezed her neck. As he took a step back, he said, “Look at me, Georgia.”
Shelly raised her eyes to him and almost felt her heart explode from the look of pure raw emotion in Josh’s gaze.
She shook her head, unbelieving, “How can this be happening?”
“What do you mean?” he asked with a crooked grin.
“You and me? This is all so fast. Maybe bringing you here was a mistake. It’s clouding..”
“It’s clouding nothing,” he told her, cupping her face again. He lowered his mouth to hers. “It’s stripping you bare, and I’m falling for you so hard that I can feel the scrapes on my knees as I’m brought to them. I understand you’re scared because I’m absolutely terrified, but I’m not going to hurt you or kick you when you’re down.”
Shelly couldn’t believe everything he was saying. It was every single thing she had ever wanted to hear, and suddenly, she was finding it hard to breathe. She needed space. She needed a distraction.
“Will you come somewhere with me?”
He blinked at the sudden change of subject. “Avoidance?”
Shelly nodded, watching him grin at her.
“I’ll only let you avoid me for so long you know,” he pointed out.
“That’s fine,” Shelly squeaked.
“Okay, where do you want to take me?”
Shelly was close to saying, everywhere as long as it’s with me, but she decided at the last moment to keep that to herself.
“It’s a place I loved going to when I was younger.”
She watched a smile spread over his mouth, and she couldn’t help but stand on her tiptoes to kiss him.
“Okay then, let’s go,” he whispered against her lips.
Shelly watched as he stepped back, looking her over.
“By the way, you look beautiful this morning.”
“Thank you.” She paused, and then remembered. “Oh, wait here a second!” she told him and ran out of the kitchen.
***
Josh watched her run off and took a moment to compose himself.
What the hell am I doing? Oh, that’s right. I’m falling head over heels for Dr. Monroe, aka Georgia, aka Man-Eater.Am I insane? Yeah, probably.
Every second he was with the woman, she snuck in a little deeper. He knew there was going to be more obstacles for him to climb over after what had happened between her mother and herself. But, as he watched her practically skip back into the kitchen in her cowgirl boots, clutching a sexy cowgirl hat, he felt himself fall further in love.
Hang on, love?Oh shit, I’m screwed. First Melissa and now Shelly? Why can’t I ever learn from my gigantic mistakes?
However, Shelly had these moments of such complete vulnerability that made him want to wrap his arms around her and never let go. He had never gotten that from Melissa—not once.
Georgia on the other hand was one surprise after another.
“You okay?” Shelly asked as she stopped in front of him.
Josh looked her over, and then nodded. “Yep. Mutley and I were just wondering where you were taking us.”
“I suppose he can come, but it’s a surprise.”
Josh moved forward and kissed her on the nose. “I’m starting to find I love surprises.
***
Shelly sat in the front seat of Josh’s truck, pointing left and right, as he followed her directions without complaint. She had to admit that when they had been talking about their feelings she had freaked out.
She was not supposed to be falling for Joshua Daniels. She was supposed to be having fun with the added bonus of no-strings sex.
Scratch that. Great sex!
So, what had she done? She’d had such great sex that she had almost confessed she was falling for him.
What on earth do I think I’m doing? I have no clue. That’s for sure.
Instead of being brave like him, she had freaked out and told him she wanted to take him somewhere. And where was she taking him? To the place she treasured the most. It was a place she had labeled the “dreaming tree.”
As he pulled off the main street and started down a little dirt road, the huge oak tree came into view with its twisted and gnarled branches spreading out in all directions, including several that arced out, reaching across a small river that ran behind an old abandoned property.
Josh brought the truck to a stop, and Shelly jumped out, running over to the edge of the river. She then turned back to see him standing at the front of his truck, leaning his butt up against it.
Shelly shielded her eyes against the morning sun shining brightly, looking from the man to the loyal dog that sat beside his master.
What a pair they were—both silent and both solid in their stillness.
Was there ever a question I would fall for this man? Not really.
It was only a matter of time, and suddenly, it felt like time had run out. In a few short weeks and really only a handful of days, she had fallen hard for Josh Daniels and that scared the hell out of her.
“What is this place, Georgia?” he asked, moving toward her.
Shelly turned back to the river and took a deep breath, trying to decide how she was supposed to function now. She had given her heart permission to be vulnerable, risking the potential of it being broken into a million pieces.
Hang on, this is Josh. He told me he wouldn’t hurt or use me, right?
Surely, she was safe to step forward and give her heart to him.
When he stopped beside her, Shelly turned, seeing his profile as his hair blew in the slight breeze, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m finding it really hard to fight wanting you, Josh,” she whispered, watching as Josh looked down at her.
He turned his big muscular body toward her, reaching out to cup her face in his hands. “Well, that’s nice to hear, Georgia, because I stopped fighting a while ago.”
Shelly blinked, shaking her head the best she could with two strong hands holding her face.
“This doesn’t make sense.”
“What doesn’t?” he whispered, moving in closer.
“This. Us. How I feel,” she whispered back.
“And how do you feel, Shelly?”
Somewhere down inside her chest, Shelly felt her heart pound while she considered what she wanted to reveal.
“I feel like I’ve fallen so far down the rabbit hole that I can’t get out.”
She held her breath as he leaned in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to her mouth. Shelly sighed, pulling back from all the emotion.
“This isn’t a dream, I promise you,” he assured.
Shelly blinked at him, confessing, “I’m so scared.”
She watched as he reached out and stroked her cheek with his fingers.
“Of me?”
Shelly shook her head. “Of us.”
***
Josh took a step back, looking over to where Mutley had stretched out beneath the shade of the tree.
“Why did you bring me here, Georgia?”
He watched as Shelly turned back to face the river. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and seemed to let go of the anxiety she was holding onto.
“I would come down here when my parents would argue—or when someone told me they saw my dad kissing some woman on the corner of their street.” She paused and turned to face him. “That actually happened more often than you would think. I called this my dreaming tree. I would come down here and dream of where I wanted to escape to and who I wanted to meet.”
Josh smiled at her, watching her blonde hair whip around her shoulders under the cowgirl hat. Then, he thought of something and only hoped he had what he wanted in the truck.
“Can you wait here for one second?”
She nodded and waited by the riverbank while he jogged back to his truck. He held his breath as he opened the toolbox in the bed of the Ford F-250, and sitting inside, he found an old blanket. He grabbed it, smiling, and walked back over to the woman he was about to make love to.
***
Shelly turned when she heard him coming back toward her. Her heart thundered inside her chest as she watched him stride down to the riverbank with a blanket beneath his arm.
He was dressed in a white T-shirt and the usual jeans and boots. She looked him up and down and smiled.
“It’s too early for a picnic, isn’t it?”
Josh stopped in front of her and held out a hand. “That’s not what I had in mind.”
“No? Then, what?” she questioned.
He tugged her forward, kissing her mouth a little harder than the previous two kisses they had shared this morning.
“Tell me what else you would dream about under your dreaming tree,” he requested with curious eyes.
Shelly looked up at him, dazed and caught under his spell. “I would lie under the tree and dream about the man I’d end up with—who he would be and what he would look like.”
She watched as a grin appeared on his face—that panty-dropping smile from the first time she had ever seen him.
“Oh yeah?”
Nodding, Shelly stepped forward, placing her hands on his chest. “Oh yeah.”
“And?”
Shelly moved to step around him, walking toward the tree. She looked over her shoulder and winked. As he groaned, letting his head fall back, she felt a shiver run all the way down to her toes.
“And he turned out much better than anything I could have imagined.”