Endless (Embrace)

‘Is Zoe ever in here?’ he asked, looking at her mess of a bed and opting for a subject change.

I took another huge mouthful of spaghetti. ‘She’s usually hanging out with Spence and the other students.’ From her late-night stumbling around in our room, it was clear they got up to no good – aka … a lot of fun. But I was always too exhausted to tag along and find out what they really did.

‘I tried to call Steph today, but I can never get through. Has Griff heard from them?’

Lincoln nodded. ‘Today, briefly. Nothing new. Still on-track,’ he said discreetly, not wanting to go into any more detail while within Academy walls. ‘Griffin saw your parents today,’ he added, trying to sound casual.

We’d had this conversation before. ‘I’ll go and see them soon. I haven’t exactly had a lot of free time.’

‘That’s not the reason and you know it.’

True. It had more to do with still not knowing what to say to Dad and my inability to process the fact that I’d spent so long hating Evelyn – thinking she’d traded me off for her own advantage – that I couldn’t even look at her now. I’d treated her so badly and I didn’t know how to fix it. And … I had a feeling the two of them were growing … close, and I just didn’t know how to deal with that.

‘Is she still having fainting spells?’ I asked.

‘No. They gave her something to jumpstart her internal organs and it seems to have worked. They think it was something to do with her body readjusting to its earthly form.’

Made sense. Griffin had said something like that, too.

We sat in silence for a while. I finished off my pasta, cleaning the plate with a piece of bread. Lincoln had given up on his dinner.

‘What do you think it was like for her?’ I asked quietly.

‘I can’t imagine. According to her official debrief, she has no memory of being in Hell. Only that she was there.’

But I knew better. She’d told me never to ask her and not because she didn’t remember – it was because she did. I suspected Lincoln knew that too.

‘She’s your mum, Vi. She gave up her first seventeen years with you, but she’s here now. I …’ He put his plate down on the tray beside him and stretched out his legs. ‘I was so mad with my mum after she died. I was mad at her for getting sick – thought she’d been too weak and made it easy for Nahilius to brainwash her.’

‘That’s not true.’

He half smiled. ‘I know, but it was what I felt for a time. I guess it was my way of dealing with things until I was able to see the truth, that I just missed her.’

I leaned my head back against the bed. ‘I’ll think about it.’

He nodded and passed me a bowl of melted chocolate ice cream.

Yum.

I ate while he filled me in. More missing children. Phoenix had been spotted in a few places, a couple of times in the New York area. There hadn’t been any sightings of Lilith, but exiles in the area seemed to be moving in mixed packs. It was clear that Lilith had them out doing her dirty work for her – and it made sense since the lure of the Grigori Scripture would be the only explanation for exiles of both light and dark continuing to work together.

‘I hate being stuck in here. I feel like I should be out hunting.’

‘Right now, I think this is the best place for you. If you were out in the open they might’ve come for you. At least this way you’re training and getting stronger. There are Grigori searching worldwide and all the senior Grigori in New York are hunting her. We’ll find them.’

The problem was – I didn’t feel stronger. I was exhausted. I slumped back even further. Lincoln smiled and started to get up, collecting the food trays as he did.

‘I’ll leave you to get some rest.’ He paused at the door. ‘You know, I’m really … You’re doing great. The testing will be a breeze. I know it isn’t easy and being locked up is hard but I’ve been really … proud to be your partner.’

I swallowed hard at the praise. Lincoln was talking to me as my trainer and it was a big thing for him to hand over a compliment like that.

‘Thanks,’ I said, wishing he wasn’t leaving but knowing I couldn’t ask him to stay.

He nodded. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’