River laughed, but it sounded bitter. "You're joking, right? Boys are exactly what they are. And no, I meant what I said."
I couldn't help but be pleased with myself, doing something for her that was different from all the other guys who had to be chasing her. Especially that douchebag musician boyfriend of hers.
Viper. What a fucking name.
"Well, I also meant what I said earlier, before you distracted me," I said, nudging her up. "I am going to feed you."
River tucked her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them, watching me open the picnic basket. "So this is a proper date now?"
"It always was," I said. "Are you cold?"
"Chilly."
I reached for an extra blanket and tossed it to her, then joined her underneath it as I took out the food I'd brought.
"You went to a lot of trouble," she said.
I shrugged. "Just went to the store and shit," I said. "Not like I cooked it or anything."
"It was a compliment," she said. "You should learn how to accept one gracefully."
"Less talking, more eating," I said, and held up a cracker I'd smeared with some gourmet cheese or some shit I'd gotten at the store - the lady at the grocery said it was imported something or other.
River laughed and took a bite. "Classy," she said. She leaned in next to me, and as much as I'd never been much for the cuddling bullshit with other girls, with River I decided it was okay. In fact, it felt kind of nice, the same way it had been with her last night.
"What happened in town yesterday," River began.
"I really am sorry about snapping at you," I said.
"Oh, no, I'm not talking about that," she said. "June told me about your father."
"Oh. That." I tensed automatically at the mention of him.
"Yeah, that."
"He died," I said. "I'm not sorry in the least. He wasn't a good person."
River didn't say anything at first. She just nodded. "I don't know who mine is," she said. "My father, I mean."
"Fuck family," I said. "The whole blood is thicker than water thing is such horseshit."
"You have brothers, though?" June asked, her voice soft.
"Four," I said.
"I just have a sister," June said. "I mean, obviously. My sister is the one screwing Viper. What are your brothers like?"
"We used to be close," I said. "Not as much anymore." That was the goddamned understatement of the year.
"How many of you are there?"
"Mason was the oldest, died when I was a kid."
River was silent, and I just continued, this deluge of words, non-stop. I didn't talk about my brothers much, or about my family at all. Even to the guys in my unit. They knew I was going home to West Bend, but not about much more than that. Telling someone about my family felt foreign.
"My mother married the asshole -" I cleared my throat. "My father, I mean, after that. Had Mason when she was a teenager. The rest of us were from him - Silas, Luke, and Killian. There's four of us."
"Are they in West Bend?"
"Silas is," I said. "Works at a bar-bounces, I guess."
"Are you close?"
"It's complicated."
"Seems like a straightforward enough question."
"You're fucking pushy, aren't you?" I asked. River didn't seem bothered by my language or my irritation. She just shrugged and smiled.
"Been called worse," she said.
"We used to be close," I said. I didn't have to talk to her about my fucking family, I reminded myself. I could just tell her to fuck off and mind her own business.
Except I didn't want to. Not really.
For whatever the hell reason, I found myself wanting to tell River things I didn't talk about with other people. And that's the part that was scaring the shit out of me.
"And then what happened?"
"I don't know," I said. "Life, I guess. People change."
"You're so full of shit, Elias Saint," River said. But she didn't press me on it. It made me like her more. "June and Cade told me what happened with Mason."
"What the -?" I pulled away from her, irritated that she'd probed around in my past.
River put her hand on my chest, calm in the midst of my fury. "I asked them what they knew about Elias Saint. You. After what happened in town, with the sheriff, I wanted to know."
"Why?"
River pulled back from me and turned to face me, still under the blanket. I could feel her knees tucked up protectively to her chest. She looked down. "I wanted to know if I was wrong about you."
"Wrong about what?"
"Who you are."
"Who do you think I am?" My chest felt tight, like there was a vise grip on my heart. I didn't fucking want to hear what she'd assumed about me from the beginning - who she assumed I was. I'd gotten enough of that bullshit growing up.
"I thought you were a good guy," she said. "Protective. Loyal. Principled."
I laughed. "Principled," I said, shaking my head. "I've never fucking gotten called that before."
River ignored me. "June told me the town had it in for your family."
"You know the whole fucking story, then," I said.