Chapter Eight
Penny sat next to Damon, their chairs almost touching, but she might as well have been in another country. Nigel’s office was silent, lit only with the fluorescents above. There was no such thing as opening a window at headquarters. The windows were treated so no one could see in, every pane bulletproof.
Since the moment he’d gotten the word that Baz was still running about London causing trouble, Damon had shut down. There had been no more caresses or hugs. No kisses. No dirty talk. When he’d come out of the shower, he’d been distant. Not cold exactly. He’d given her an encouraging smile, but he’d held himself apart.
She could still feel his cock deep inside her, but he was miles away.
“Are you all right?”
He’d asked her more than once, but she just gave him a tight smile. He seemed to have shifted to treating her with an awkward politeness, like he hadn’t made love to her an hour before. “I am, Damon. Where is Nigel? Why didn’t you bring the rest of the team in?”
The Taggarts were sitting outside in the waiting room. They’d ridden over in Damon’s Benz. Damon and Taggart had talked quietly, but she’d just looked out the window.
For one brief moment, she’d felt so connected to him, so close. She’d never felt as open and free as she had when Damon had taken over.
She really hated Basil Champion.
“Nigel wants to talk to us first,” Damon explained.
The door opened, and Nigel walked through looking like he hadn’t slept well the night before. The lines around his eyes seemed to have deepened over the course of the weekend.
He strode straight to his desk. “Harris was discovered with two bullets in his chest early this morning. Champion got through hospital security. A nurse found the body.”
He flipped open a folder and tossed it on the desk. Penny couldn’t help the gasp that came out of her throat. Harris was lying across a mattress, blood staining the white sheets, his eyes wide open and staring up.
Damon’s hand shot out, slamming the folder closed. “You didn’t have to show her that.”
Nigel’s eyes narrowed. “You’re the one who made her a field agent.”
“Under my command and I will decide what she does and doesn’t see. Don’t pull that shit with me, Nige. You know damn well I mean to protect her from this. Penelope, wait outside.”
Nigel shook his head. “Absolutely not. She has every right to know what’s happening. If you’re telling me you don’t trust her enough, then I’ll shove her right back behind a desk. This is serious. We have an agent dead.”
“I’m trying to protect her,” Damon said, his voice tight.
She knew the job was dangerous. “I’m fine, Damon.”
Nigel’s fist came down on his desk, the first time she’d ever seen him lose his temper. “She’s either your partner or your girlfriend. She can’t be both. You told me you could be professional.”
She couldn’t let Nigel pull her from the op. Somehow, she had to see this one thing through. It was important. She was the only one who knew about Damon’s weakness. He wouldn’t stop, and maybe the next partner would leave him when he needed her. “No. I want to go on. We’re fine.”
Nigel ignored her. “Read the note, Damon. Open the folder and read the note that was left on Harris’s body. Read the note and then the e-mail that followed this morning.”
Damon stood, not looking back at her. He picked up the folder and stepped away from the desk, opening it. A long moment passed, tension thick in the air. Nigel sat in his chair, running a hand through his thinning hair.
Damon didn’t say a word, but she saw how his back straightened, his jaw tightening.
Nigel looked over at him. “Is it true?”
“You knew what I meant by training.” Damon didn’t look up, his voice a harsh grind. “You knew. Don’t play the prude now, Nige.”
“What does it say?” Penny asked. She didn’t like the way the men were looking at each other.
“I rather thought you would be a gentleman about it,” Nigel shot back.
“You didn’t hire a gentleman, Nigel. You hired me, and you knew what I wanted from her.” Now he looked up and there was a bitterness in his eyes she hadn’t seen before. “You have no idea what it’s like in the field. None. Don’t you dare start to judge me.”
“What does it say?” She was more forceful this time because she was starting to think she had an inkling and it wouldn’t be flattering. Somehow it made her a bit angry instead of embarrassed. Days ago she would have been shriveling up inside at the insinuations she was hearing, but spending time naked with Damon had changed her somehow. There hadn’t been anything wrong with it. It had been a lovely thing.
Damon frowned as he turned to her. “Give me your handbag. Where do you normally put it? Is it locked up while you’re here?”
What the hell was going on? Her brain was racing. “No. I leave it in my desk. Why would anyone try to steal…” The truth hit her squarely in the forehead. “They didn’t try to steal something. They put something on it.”
She picked up her bag. It was a simple thing, large and roomy. She’d bought it on sale at H&M about a month after her mum had passed on. It had been an impulse buy because the pattern was so unlike her. Paisley. It didn’t really go with anything but she’d loved the colors. The pattern was busy, easy to hide something among.
She ran her hand along the material and on the front of the bag, just below the clasp, she felt it. A bug. Small, wireless. She pulled it off and stared at it, thinking about the man on the other end. “I really hate you, you know. I hope your balls shrivel off and die.”
“Penelope!” Damon stood, staring at her with shocked eyes.
“Well, I’m not stupid. Obviously that note has something to do with our physical relationship, and Nigel thinks I’m some schoolgirl who doesn’t know the score and he’s going to try to protect the sad virgin. First off, I would protest and say I’m not a virgin, but lately I’ve been thinking I might as well be because the sexual relations I had before don’t even fall in the same category. Kissing Damon is sexier than full-on intercourse with other men. I don’t want to be protected. I knew what I was getting into. I’m not leaving now that it’s getting a bit deadly.” She held the small device on her fingertip. “He’s trying to break us up, but it won’t work.”
His eyes flared and for the briefest moment, a look of wonder came across his face. It was quickly shut down and he averted his eyes, looking back to the file. “Keep quiet. Get rid of that thing before you say another word.”
Because if he really was still listening, she’d just given away a lot. She’d stood there and pledged to not leave him. She’d given away a weakness.
Tears filled her eyes. She’d just proven how stupid she could be. She’d known he was listening and she’d still talked.
Nigel hit a button on his phone. “Send me someone from tech. And tell our Americans they can come in now if Mr. Smith is through with his debrief. We have a lot to sort through. Unfortunately, this bloody mess has gone international. The Agency is here. You need to read his other demands.”
The CIA had sent someone?
Nigel took the device from her, palming it and closing his hand.
Damon stayed where he was, though she wanted so much for him to cross the distance between them. “Keep your voice down until that thing is gone. I swear I’ll find the mole and I’m going to make whoever it is pay.”
Someone had been listening and watching her every move for days, perhaps months. It made her stomach turn, but she needed to make one thing clear. She moved close to him, her voice low. “I’m staying with you. I don’t care what Nigel says. I’m strong enough for this. I can be good for you.”
Damon shook his head, a dismissal. “Nigel might be right about this.”
“You know I’m right, but I don’t know what we can do about it now.” Nigel’s voice broke through the quiet.
The doors opened and Ian Taggart walked through followed by his wife and a tall, well-built man with brown and gold hair. He was wearing jeans and what looked like a Western shirt and cowboy boots.
“Are you f*cking kidding me?” Taggart asked. He’d obviously been brought up to speed on the situation, and he wasn’t happy about it.
“Don’t, Tag.” The new guy crossed his arms as he looked around the room. “We’re all getting f*cked here. Can we be sure it’s safe to talk now?”
One of the techs walked in, a younger man named Marvin who had never once spoken to her until Friday last. He’d walked up to her and asked her about something trivial that might have been wrong with her computer. It had only been a few moments, but she’d turned.
Where had her bag been?
She closed her eyes, trying to remember everything about the encounter. It had been lunchtime and the rest of her group had gone, but Marvin had shown up. She’d stayed to answer his questions. She’d put her bag on her desk, turned and pulled up the update he’d asked about.
“Don’t give it to him. He’ll destroy it or he’ll fake a report that gives us absolutely nothing. He’s working with Champion.”
Nigel stopped in the act of handing over the camera.
Damon shoved her behind him, as though the man would pull a gun and shoot her right there.
Marvin was a weasel, but she doubted he was a killer.
“I don’t know what she’s talking about. That’s ridiculous,” the tech said, but his hands were shaking slightly.
Taggart stepped up. He was a good foot taller than the tech and had at least seven stone of pure muscle on him. Taggart loomed over the man. “Penny, are you sure?”
Sure? It could be someone else, but the timing worked. If Marvin was supposed to follow Damon Knight’s movements around SIS, then he would have known Damon had requested information on her. Apparently Damon had delved rather violently into almost all aspects of her life. Champion would want to know why Damon was so interested in a translator. “When did you request my files, Damon?”
“Late Thursday night.”
The timing checked out. “And Friday at roughly eleven a.m., he stopped and asked me about my computer. He had access to my bag. I had it out because I was going to lunch. The rest of the time I have it locked in my desk.”
Marvin shook his head. “Anyone could have done it. There are people with keys to the desks.”
But instinct pointed to him. She wouldn’t have been on Champion’s radar before. The minute she’d come into his focus, Marvin had appeared. Sometimes she had to follow her instincts. “Check his computer. He likely has more than one here.”
Nigel hit his button again. “I need security.”
“No, you don’t,” Taggart said, his mouth curling up in a deeply gruesome approximation of a grin. “You just need to give me five minutes with him.”
“Ian, you promised you would stop killing people. I’m tired of getting blood out of your clothes.” Charlotte took Penny’s vacated seat and crossed her legs casually.
“No problem, baby. I’ll put on a raincoat.”
Security showed up. Two large men, much larger than needed to handle a skinny guy like Marvin who just now seemed to realize what kind of trouble he was in.
“I’ll talk.” He tried to back away, but hit the mountain of muscle that was Ian Taggart. He turned and nearly screamed. “I didn’t hurt anyone. I just gave him some files and bugged her bag. God, nothing could be wrong with that. She’s dull as dishwater.”
Penny gasped as she realized that her bag had been tossed in a chair across from the counter in the washroom at her cousin’s wedding. “I made a sex tape.” He’d bugged her bag and now her first orgasm was likely on the Internet. “Mr. Taggart, I don’t have much money, but I will give you everything I have if you would please murder that man and in a deeply painful manner.”
Taggart snorted. “Your girl is vicious, Knight. In a very polite way, of course. And Pen, I’ll do him for free. I haven’t tortured anyone in a long time.”
Charlotte cleared her throat.
Taggart groaned. “Not the same thing, baby.”
“Get him out of here.” Nigel took over, obviously sick of the interruptions. “The Americans can talk to him later. I’ll be down in interrogation in ten minutes. I want him alive, but you can soften him up for me, lads.”
Marvin was dragged out of the room.
“Give me the bug. Let Chelsea and Adam research it. You have no idea how compromised you are.” Taggart held out his hand. Nigel hesitated. “Ten?”
The cowboy-looking man sighed. “He’s under contract, Nigel. To both of us. If you can’t trust him, why did you sign him up for this?”
“It’s not him I don’t trust. I suspect Chelsea Dennis had a lot to do with her sister’s business,” Nigel admitted.
“And we both offered her a job, so give me a little here. From what I understand, your old man Weston rarely takes his eyes off her anyway, and Adam Miles is completely trustworthy. Let’s keep this off the radar, man.” He turned his green eyes her way. “Besides, I don’t exactly trust everyone on your team, so we’re even.”
“You leave her out of this, Ten.” Damon seemed to be putting himself between her and all manner of danger today.
She was sick of cowering behind him, though she did have to admit she liked the view. What was happening to her? She was surrounded by predatory animals. She’d just discovered she’d made a sex tape. A killer had been watching her every move, and she was thinking about Damon’s very tight arse. She moved from behind him. “My name is Penelope Cash.”
The man named Ten studied her. “Yes, I know. I know everything about you. You speak four different languages fluently. IQ of 155. You lived at home with your mother until seven months ago. You apparently really like dirty talk.”
Damon took a step the cowboy’s way.
The testosterone in the room was really getting to be a bit much for her. “Nigel, could you get rid of that thing one way or another so we can talk? Damon, calm down. He didn’t do anything you didn’t do. He looked into my background. That’s all. He’s right about everything. And I really do like dirty talk.”
“High-five, Pen.” Charlotte seemed to be the only one amused. “Don’t we all? So give it up, Nige. Little sis and Adam will tell you everything about the sucker in a couple of hours. And Simon is already going through Damon’s place with a fine-tooth comb. We’ll be clean by the time we get back.”
So at least she could be sure they’d be alone in The Garden. She suddenly wanted to be back there. She wanted to be in Damon’s arms. She wanted to be his sub and not his partner because she had the feeling she wouldn’t like the decisions he was about to make.
Nigel turned over the bug, and the Taggarts left after Charlotte gave her a long, sympathetic look.
“Are we sure it’s safe to talk here?” Damon asked.
Nigel nodded. “Yes. We went into a very quiet lockdown the minute we received the files. My office has already been declared clean.”
“Good.” Damon turned to her, taking her by the arms. He gestured the cowboy’s way. “Penelope, that man is named Tennessee Smith. He’s with the CIA. According to the intelligence I just read, not only did Champion execute one of our agents last night, he left behind a note. A note for me. Baz told me he wanted to talk, and he’s pressing the issue in the dirtiest way he can think of. He told me he’ll meet me in one of the cities we dock in on the cruise and I’m to bring you with me.”
“He thinks I’m a weakness for you.”
Damon nodded slowly. “Which is precisely why I need to leave you behind. Our relationship ends here and now.”
Her heart nearly plunged to her shoes. It was over? So quickly? She’d known it would end, known it wouldn’t last long, but she’d wanted her weeks with him. She’d wanted a few weeks where she did more with her life than stare at a computer, translating mostly mundane conversations, listening in on other people’s lives.
She knew it was stupid. Just the day before she’d decided to guard herself against him, but she didn’t want to go back to the way it had been. She couldn’t stand the thought of him glancing her way without so much as a smile, just one of the hundreds of women who had loved him and who meant nothing to him now.
God, she was in love with Damon. It was silly to even think it wasn’t true. She’d been in love with him for a very long time.
He stared down at her, his jaw tight. “I won’t talk to you, Penelope. I won’t acknowledge your presence when you walk in a room. I will pretend you don’t exist. This was all about one single operation. That operation is over for you. I can’t use you anymore.”
She felt tears slipping from her eyes. She reached up and cupped his cheek. “Damon, I want to go with you. I don’t care about the risk.”
It didn’t matter that there were other people in the room. She couldn’t be one more person who disappeared on him.
He stepped away, his face going cold, eyes blank. “Penelope, I’ve done you a great disservice.”
“Don’t, Damon. I know what you’re going to do. Don’t.”
He didn’t look away from her. He looked right through her, like she was already gone, already relegated to some place in his mind where he shoved useless things. “I needed you to obey me. Getting you to believe yourself to be in love with me was the easiest way to go. You know I made a study of you. You were lonely. You had very little experience with sex. It was simple. I do have experience. I knew exactly what to say to you.”
Her heart was breaking because she did believe that he would do everything he said he would. He would walk away from her. He wouldn’t speak to her again. She would dream about him for the rest of her life and his last words to her would be about how he’d tricked her. “You told me it was real.”
He shrugged a bit, an aristocratic gesture. “I lied. Getting in your knickers was the best way to control you. You can’t honestly believe I was attracted to you.”
“You certainly looked like you were.” It came out as an accusation.
A nasty smirk hit his face. “Darling, I can get an erection from a stiff breeze.”
So the bit about his cock not working around anyone but her had been a lie, too.
“Don’t call me that. Don’t call me that again.” His endearments meant nothing. They were one more way he’d drawn her in.
Something died a bit. A light that had started to grow inside her dimmed again. It had been foolish of her to believe him. She looked in the mirror on a regular basis. No amount of makeup would ever make her really beautiful. The people at the wedding had stared at them, but not because they looked right together. They stared because they wondered what the hell he was doing with her.
He was good. He’d known exactly how to get past her walls. He’d defended her, built up her self-esteem. He’d been just vulnerable enough to make her think they really did have something in common. She’d started to believe she was good for him.
She’d have to tell her sister and brother it had all been a joke. A joke on her.
“I’m sorry, Miss Cash.” He didn’t sound sorry. He sounded bland, blank, distant. But then he’d always been. The connection she’d felt had been one sided. Otherwise, there was no way he could hurt her like this. Love didn’t work that way. Even friendship didn’t work like that.
She’d been safer in her shell.
“Why did you sleep with me? I offered to do the job without sex.” She was proud of how steady her voice was. She was calm again. This wasn’t anything that hadn’t happened to her before. It would likely happen again unless she simply shut down.
“I told you. I was training you to obey me. The easiest way to ensure a woman’s compliance is to make her happy in bed. It’s so much easier if the woman’s never had a real lover. It wasn’t some grand romance, Penelope. It’s part of my job.”
And she knew what he would do for his job. He would kill himself for it so sleeping with a woman he found a bit distasteful was likely simple for him.
He’d needed someone pliable, someone smart but na?ve. If she looked at it logically, she was rather perfect.
“Are you all right? You went pale. Do you need to sit down?” Damon was looking at her with something akin to pity.
“I’m fine. I believe I’ll go to my desk and clear it out.”
He frowned. “You’re not fired, Miss Cash.”
“Oh, Mr. Knight, I do believe I quit. I expect my belongings back in my home by tonight.” She turned to Nigel, praying she got through the next few minutes with some semblance of dignity. “Thank you for everything, sir. I’m sorry it ended like this.”
Nigel sat down, shaking his head. “I told you this was a bloody bad idea, Knight. I really hope you’re happy with yourself.”
“Damon, we have a problem.” Tennessee’s voice broke through her gloom, and she was suddenly deeply aware that she wasn’t alone with him. Two men had witnessed her humiliation.
Damon turned to him, every inch the competent agent. “Of course. We can discuss it after Penelope leaves. I would rather not compromise the mission further.”
Tennessee sighed. “You’ve already compromised it, and now we’re all royally screwed. He didn’t just kill Harris. He’s threatened to out undercover agents across the globe if you don’t show up with her.”
Nigel cursed under his breath. “Miss Cash, your resignation is rejected. You will keep your cover with Knight. You’ll be issued a sidearm this afternoon. Please don’t use it on him, though I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
Damon cursed.
She shook her head. “No. I can’t. I can’t be around him anymore.”
Nigel passed her the file. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to.”
With shaking hands, she took the file. “May I read it at my desk?”
“Of course. Take a few moments.” Nigel nodded her way. “But I really can’t let you leave.”
She turned and walked out the door. She was suddenly afraid there was no way out of the trap. None at all.
Damon called out for her, but she kept walking. She might not be done with the operation, but she was certainly done with him.
Tears blurred her eyes, but she brushed them away as she sat down and opened the file. It was time to work. If there was one thing in the world Penelope Cash understood, it was duty.