Maybe we’re outgrowing each other. Holding each other back. I miss out on lots of things because of you.
I hate it. I hate that she thinks she’s better off without me. Like I’m this sad, fat girl stepping on her heels.
I know I should apologize.
But maybe she should, too.
I wear the mum all day long. It’s so big I have to wear it around my neck. Hannah and Amanda make fun of me. Millie thinks it’s adorable. But by the end of the day, my neck is sore and my shoulders are hunched from the weight of it.
For Halloween, Ron asks us to wear costumes because the elementary school PTA is hosting a trunk-or-treat party in our parking lot. Like I told Mitch on our Most Awkward Date Ever, Halloween isn’t my thing. Outside of school parties, my mom never really took me anywhere for Halloween. Well, except to church “harvest parties,” which were just covers for Halloween parties. Besides, we were only able to dress up as biblical characters. If you’re a guy, that’s not a big deal, but if you’re a girl all you’ve got is Eve (leaf bikini, anyone?), Esther, the Virgin Mary, or a prostitute. Plus, all that’s in my costume arsenal is the Betty half of Betty and Wilma from the Flintstones costume that El and I wore a few years ago.
Ron’s dressed in all black like Zorro with a plastic sword tied to his hip. “Well, I figured none of y’all would come dressed.” He drops a cardboard box down on the counter. “I borrowed some hats and whatnot from the church drama department.”
Marcus picks a devil headband from the top and holds it up for inspection. “What is this, some leftover from last year’s Hell House?”
Ron takes the devil horns from him and drops them back in the box. “Let’s maybe stick to the less controversial stuff. And the candy is for the kids only. No teenagers.” He walks outside to the popcorn machine on the sidewalk where he’ll be handing out complimentary bags of popcorn.
Bo takes the blue-and-white-striped conductor hat and then reaches over my shoulder to grab a lollipop from the bowl of candy. Despite Ron’s request, Marcus goes for the devil horns, and I reach for the sequined flapper headband with a big white feather.
Besides the rare kids’ meal, it’s pretty quiet. I get bored enough to clean out the employee fridge. When I’m done, I find Callie and her boyfriend, Bryce, standing in front of the counter. Bryce is wearing jeans and a T-shirt cut to look like a Peter Pan tunic, while Callie is supposed to be some kind of warped version of Wendy Darling in a sexy blue nighty.
“What are you doing here?” Each word comes out like acid.
“Whoa,” says Callie. “Someone’s attitude is turned up to ten.”
The bell above the door chimes and the situation goes from bad to worse. Ellen is dressed like Tinker Bell, and really, besides being one of the tallest girls I know, she makes the perfect Tink. Tim is dressed as Hook. Unlike Bryce, he’s actually committed to his costume.
I hate it. I hate their dumb coordinated costumes. And I hate the way El looks like I’m violating her by breathing the same air.
Tim’s eyes go wide for a second while El studies the floor. I try not to gasp. He did this. He made this happen. I would’ve preferred he not bring Callie and Bryce, but this is my chance. I’ve got to take it.
Ellen looks up. “I didn’t think you worked here anymore.” That’s all she has to say. After all these weeks of silence, that’s all she’s got.
“I came back.” Despite our audience, this moment feels starkly personal. “Hi, Tim.”
He nods in my direction, and does nothing more to acknowledge me. I want to call him a traitor, but it’s obvious whose side he’s on.
“Let’s go,” says El.
“That’s it? I haven’t talked to you in weeks and that’s it?” I can sense Marcus and Bo watching now, too.
Callie turns to Ellen. “You don’t owe her anything.”
El’s eyes don’t move. “I’m doing pretty good on my own, so, yeah, I guess that’s it.”