Drowning to Breathe

That redness climbed all the way to my cheeks. The desire Sebastian had lit back in the room had barely just settled to a simmer, and here he was, stoking it again, the promise in his words enough to send a chill slithering through my body.

“This isn’t an awkward conversation or anything.” I widened my eyes at all of them who had no shame at all, eyes watching Sebastian and me as if we were the best kind of entertainment.

Considering the bets, apparently we were.

Ash cackled and smacked my now vacant seat as the driver pulled out into the heavy traffic congesting the strip.

“Come now, sweet, innocent Shea. You’re part of the band now, baby. There are no secrets between us and there’s not a subject that’s gonna be off limits. Can you handle it?”

It was all tease, but I could feel the caution behind it. The guy was always so cocky and smug, but there was a loyalty about him, too. Just like Sebastian, something good beneath all the brash. I knew he was warning me about what we were about to head into, wondering if I could handle it, the lifestyle they lived, the abounding outside forces Sebastian had wanted to shield and protect me from.

I snuggled further into Sebastian’s hold.

As long as Sebastian loved me the way he should, the way I loved him, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

Draping his arms over the middle seat, Zee leaned forward and began to tap out a beat on the black leather, quietly humming the tune.

Ash picked right up, singing the words under his breath as he began to bob his head along with Zee’s impromptu song. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised, but Lyrik chimed right in, the man who exuded menace and mayhem tapping his fingers on the thighs of his ripped-up skinny jeans as he joined in with Ash and Zee, as if they did this all the time.

Were they serious?

I looked up at Sebastian. He slanted me a rogue grin, dipped that gorgeous face down toward me as those full, full lips began to move.

That beautiful, beautiful voice for a beautiful, beautiful man singing that soothing sound, his mouth hovering an inch from my lips as if he were singing to me.

But those intense eyes glinted and gleamed, swimming with mischief and ease as he played along with the guys, those four big, bad rockers going retro.

They were singing Leaving Las Vegas by Sheryl Crow.

Giggling, I clutched Sebastian’s neck. Something giddy washed over me as the air in the car went light. The effortless bond between the four talented men filled me with joy, because I knew this was such a huge part of Sebastian’s life, being on the road with them, their day-to-day.

For so many years I’d silenced my voice. As if it were a part of my secrets locked tight. As if the words that danced on my tongue had been buried with Delaney Rhoads.

But today…today I couldn’t help myself…because I felt free.

Vindicated.

And I let it go.

Lifted my voice and joined in just as they hit the chorus, belted it out as I sang to Sebastian who sang right back. His hands clutched my sides. The joy in his eyes was something I felt all the way to my soul.

We trailed off and the rest of the cab was conspicuously silent.

As if a strange disturbance had stamped out the easy air.

Embarrassment held my tongue, my teeth gnawing nervously at my bottom lip while I buried my face in Sebastian’s neck, wishing there was a way to disappear.

What was I thinking?

Then Ash hooted. “Holy hell, woman. Did that really just come out of your mouth?”

I buried my frown in Sebastian’s neck, feeling the vibration of his chuckle as he held me a little tighter.

“Told you, man,” Sebastian muttered, scattering a bunch of kisses over the crown of my head.

“Told him what?” I finally got the courage to ask, peeking up at him as he dipped his chin down to meet my eye.

Typically, I wasn’t the shrinking-violet type. But when it came to singing, it brought back my childhood insecurities. The fact I’d been a constant disappointment to my mother. The pressure she’d exerted. The expectations I never met. Her never-satisfied hunger for more.

More fame.

More money.

A. L. Jackson's books