God, how could I even think for a second this wasn’t real?
I fisted my hand at my chest, giving her raw honesty. “I gave you my fucking heart, Shea. All of it. Wanted to claim Kallie as my own. Wanted everything with you, and now it turns out I know nothing.”
Tears distorted her voice, and her own truth bled free. “Do you really think you don’t know me, Sebastian? Do you really think you don’t know every single thing that counts? This room…this house…me being a mother to Kallie…loving you.” She emphasized the last, and it struck me deep.
Tonight was the first time I’d truly accepted she could love me. Accepted maybe I deserved to love her back.
Creases deepened at the corners of her eyes. “Those are the only things in my life that count.”
Fear welled up as frustration, and I fisted my hands at my sides. “You think it doesn’t count that prick Jennings had the power to just roll in here and steal Kallie away from us?”
I took a step forward and lowered my voice. “You think that doesn’t matter? And you want to know the sick part, Shea? The only fucking thing I want right now is to comfort you. Make it better. Fix it. And I don’t even know what the fuck I’m fixin’. You lied to me…for months. I’m not sure I even know who you are.”
“You know me,” she pled. More tears fell, and she sniffled and inhaled. She brought those eyes up to mine. Something fierce billowed out from within them.
Her voice was a whisper, but there was no mistaking the strength behind it. “Yes, I lied to you. But it’s a lie I’ve told everyone, including myself. It’s the only way I knew how to survive. It was the only way Kallie and I could live a normal life. You don’t know what that man is capable of, and if lying about his existence kept my daughter safe, then I would do it a million times over.”
I swallowed hard. I’d be nothing but a hypocrite if I said I didn’t understand. How many secrets had I kept locked up tight, refusing to show them to protect my family? My brother? The band?
I mean, fuck, Shea’s and my entire relationship had been built on a foundation of lies. I was the one who’d kept my identity hidden in the first place. Now I knew what that shit felt like.
But her being Delaney Rhoads and wanting to leave behind a life she didn’t want was one thing. Martin Jennings being Kallie’s father was a whole different story.
Did she have any clue how tangled I was in Jennings’s life-sucking web?
My words were strained. “That’s where you’re wrong. I know exactly what that asshole is capable of. That’s what scares me most.”
Another rush of chills trembled through her, and she nodded as if she were attempting to make sense of her own questions. “I can’t believe you know him.”
Biting laughter escaped me before I could stop it as I was struck with another rush of doubt. “But didn’t you already know that, Shea?”
God, I was so back and forth. Swinging from sympathy and care to wondering if she was some kind of mole planted in my life with the sole purpose of ripping it apart.
Her chin quivered. “I would never have kept this from you as long as I did if I’d known.”
“Then how?”
Helpless, she lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Why were you in Savannah, Sebastian? You’re the one who came into my life. I had no idea Martin was a part of yours.” She squeezed her eyes closed, like maybe she didn’t want to ask the question, before she opened to me. “I need to know how you know him.”
More bitter laughter, and I paced again, wiping the back of a hand over my mouth like I could wipe away the sour taste.
I cut my attention to her. “Told you I might still be going to jail, Shea. Told you I wasn’t any good for you because every time I turn around I’m doing something to threaten my freedom. And my freedom is threatened because of him…because he fed my baby brother pills, then walked away and left him for dead.”