All the questions I wanted to ask Shea about how she was tied to Martin Jennings bubbled to the surface, forced up by the seething anger burning in my veins at the thought of the two of them together.
I started slow, a little bit of awe weaving into my words. “You’re Delaney Rhoads.”
“No.” The word flew free with vehemence. “Martin Jennings made Delaney Rhoads. I never wanted to be her, Sebastian. Yes, I love to sing…love to play…but never at the cost of being her. I’ve spent so much time pretending she didn’t exist. Please believe me. I never meant it to hurt you. But I’ve never told anyone about it. Charlie and April are the only ones who know because they helped me through that time. All of us have pretended she didn’t exist…that Martin didn’t exist…since the moment I returned to Savannah.”
Shea hesitated, then continued, “You can imagine now why finding out who you were affected me so much. I’d had that lifestyle and I wanted as far away from it as possible. But in the end, what I really wanted was you.”
She gave me a wobbly smile. “Wanted you to love me and hold me, and all of a sudden none of that other stuff mattered. All that mattered was you. I was ready to let you in, the first person I’d ever told the truth to. The first person I trusted. I wanted you to know it…to share it with me…to understand, because I was pretty sure there was no other person in the world who would understand it better than you.”
Her face pinched. “But you ran…and…and you broke me. I’ve never hurt more than that night until…”
She trailed off. It was as if I could hear what she thought. Her daughter’s sweet voice echoing through my mind, mixing with the brutal agony of her cries as she’d begged for her mommy when Martin ripped her away so violently.
Begging for someone to save her when we’d been completely helpless. Hands tied. Knowing using them would only make it worse.
“Until tonight,” I finished for her.
“Until tonight,” she agreed. “I knew before we went public, you had to know, and I was ready. Tonight…what we shared…”
Meeting my eye, she reached out and brushed trembling fingertips down my jaw. My eyes dropped closed as I let myself lean into the promise of her touch.
Her voice was a soft rasp. “I knew you would forgive me for keeping this from you. I knew you would accept me because I knew you’d always seen me the same way I see you. We see this.”
Pulling back, she placed her hand over her heart, like she was begging me to understand our hearts were the only things that mattered.
I hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her face to me. The words grated from my throat. “How’s it possible to love someone so fucking much and not know the first thing about their past?”
No doubt it sounded like a concession.
Like surrender.
Because neither of us were immune to this, this strange connection that billowed between us. What tied us together when neither of us knew the paths that had brought us to this place.
This place where it was us.
“Remember when I told you I didn’t even know you but you felt like one of the most significant people to have ever come into my life?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Maybe there was a reason neither of us could let this go.”
I moved to hold that sweet face between my hands. “I’d do anything for you, Shea. Give up anything…” My hold tightened in emphasis. “Give up everything if it means we get that little girl back.”
I finally let myself ask one question that’d been nagging me. “Why’d you quit?”
Shea paled, and she spoke softly. Sadly. “My entire childhood was spent priming me for one singular goal. I spent my days in endless lessons and chasing countless auditions. My momma was going to make me a star.”
Sarcasm dripped from the word.