He turned his grey stare back to me, his face twisted up in confusion. More disappointment. “So you just walked away? Left her there to deal with all this shit on her own?”
“The shit I caused, Austin. She wouldn’t be dealing with this right now if it wasn’t for me.”
“The shit you caused?” Incredulously, he snorted. “Everything you do is to get someone else out of trouble. If this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
“Not your fault,” I grated.
I’d told him what felt like a million times.
When was he ever going to start believing it?
“You know what, Baz? You act like you’re the only person around here strong enough to shoulder any blame. You go around protecting and protecting and protecting until it’s suffocating. You won’t even let me take responsibility for what I did.” Twice, he struck his fist against his chest to punctuate it.
I winced with the bite of his words.
Then he softened, remorse seeming to seep through. “And you know how much it means to me. All you’ve done. What you’ve given up. You became my entire world. My mom, my dad, my brother, and my best friend. You made sure I ate when Mom couldn’t get out of bed, put yourself in Dad’s line of fire to protect me. Fucking hauled me around, this little kid thinking he was on top of the world because his big brother allowed him to tag along.”
“That was the worst mistake I ever made.” My rough voice clashed with the air. “Dragging you into all that.”
“Really? Where do you think I’d be right now if you hadn’t gotten me out of that house? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t still be breathing.”
Pain clenched my heart. “I did it all wrong.”
“You were a kid, too. You think I don’t know you were doing the best you could?”
Disgusted, he shook his head. “We’ve had a whole lot of bad in our lives.”
His words echoed like my own. Have so much shit, Shea.
“And now you finally have something good. I don’t care who she is or what lies she told you, it doesn’t mean what brought you back here in the first place counts any less. She needs you. Fuck…she needs you, Baz.”
Hurt wound through me. Gutting. I ground my teeth.
He tilted his head, looking at me. Discerning eyes speared me in the shadows, the kid far more mature than I’d ever given him credit for.
Always watching.
“The way Shea looks at you? One day…one day I want someone to look at me like that. And guess what, you look at her the exact same way. And you’re really going to let that go because of an asshole like Jennings? You’ve fought for everyone your entire life, and now you’re going to step down—bow out—when you finally have something worth fighting for? Fight for her.”
“Austin.” I wanted to beg him to stop.
He just continued right on. “My entire life, I’ve looked up to you. Thought you knew everything. Even when I gave up, I somehow knew you were going to be there to save me. But if you think giving up on that girl is what’s right, then you’re a fool.”
He gazed back out over the sea, gentle waves lapping at the shore. The haze of clouds had begun to dissipate. A scatter of stars bled through.
He turned his face to the sky, before he glanced at me from over his shoulder. “I saw something better in you.”
Then he turned and left me there.
I dropped my face into my hands, rubbing my palms up over my head, too many voices clattering inside.
I saw something better in you.
I saw something better in you.
I saw…you…
I see you.
I see you.
I see you.
Shea had seen more in me than I could ever have imagined. Something better than I ever hoped I could be.
And it rushed me.
That sweet, soft girl.
Because the truth was?
I saw her, too.
MY HEART SLAMMED AROUND in my chest and my sight narrowed on one singular goal.
Her.