Dreams Don't Wait

chapter 12





Twenty minutes later, Evan stood in front of Linc's back door. She was nervous and ill at ease, much like a servant approaching the manor house for the first time. He responded to her first knock, and when he looked down at her, his face was a tight mask. Her lower lip trembled as she forced a smile to her tensed lips. He made no effort to return it, choosing instead to glance away.

"Jenny," he called over his shoulder. "Evan's here."

Jenny bounced up from the bowl of ice cream she was eating in front of the TV and ran toward her, Copper at her side. When she wrapped her arms around Evan, the hug was warm and mutual. Evan buried her face in Jen's soft hair, half to avoid Linc's scornful gaze, and half to revel in the clean, innocent scent of a freshly scrubbed little girl.

"Are you better now, Evan? Daddy said you caught a bug. He said if I saw you, I'd get it, too." Jenny gave her a serious stare.

Evan's eyes shot to Linc's, then back to Jenny. "I'm better, Jen. The bug's gone. You can come—"

Linc broke in. "She's eaten and had her bath. I didn't want you to have too many responsibilities."

She looked up at him, her expression rigidly controlled. "What time will you be back?" As she spoke, she brushed Jenny's bangs back from her forehead. It was warm.

"Don't worry, I won't take up too much of your time. I don't plan to be more than a couple of hours."

Evan straightened to her full height and gave him a direct gaze. "You can drop the sarcasm, Linc. I wasn't trying to hurry you. I'm looking forward to some time with Jenny. As for you... you can be gone as long as you like."

Evan saw the tightening in his jaw before she turned her attention back to Jenny. She ran a hand across her forehead. It was warm.

"You feeling okay, honey?"

Jenny brushed away her hand. "Wanna see Copper's trick, Evan? She can sit up. Watch."

Jenny patted her chest. Copper stood on her hind legs, balanced her front legs on Jenny's shoulders, and licked Jenny's face with more enthusiasm than discipline. While child and dog pretended to be involved in the serious business of puppy training, Evan's eyes strayed to Linc's. She caught a pained, hungry look before he closed the shutters on it. Without a word, he strode from the room, coming back seconds later wearing a light tan sport jacket.

"I'll be at the Empress Hotel." With that, he was gone. Evan watched him go, indulging in a pained, hungry look of her own. This was hard, very hard.

* * *

When he heard the page, he was in the lobby saying his goodbyes. It was nearly ten o'clock.

"I'm Lincoln Stewart," he said to the desk clerk.

"Mr. Stewart, I have a message from a Miss North. You're to go directly to Victoria General Hospital. She says not to worry, but she's taken your daughter there. She said she tried your cell—"

The desk clerk smiled in sympathy, but Linc didn't see it. He was striding to the door.

* * *

He found Evan in the emergency waiting room, her face drawn into tight, worried lines.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said. "I called your cell—"

"I know. I had it off during my meeting." Never again. "What is it? What's wrong with her?"

"Don't know for sure yet. After you left, her fever kept getting worse. She said her head hurt. When she started to vomit, I brought her in right away."

"Where is she, and where's the doctor?"

"He's with her now. He said it might be... meningitis." Evan looked at him as if trying to gauge his reaction. "He says there've been a couple of cases reported lately."

His jaw tensed. "What do you think?"

"I'm not sure, but she didn't complain about a stiff neck. That's a good sign." Evan said the words but didn't look convinced by them. "And if it is meningitis, it's in the early stage." She touched his arm. "She'll be fine, Linc." Her words reassured, but her green eyes were dark with worry.

He nodded tried to swallow the clot of fear in his throat.

Evan looked past him. "The doctor's here."

She gave Linc a quick glance and squeezed his arm before letting go. As consolation went, it wasn't enough. He wanted his arms around her—and his daughter.

The middle-aged doctor smiled at them both. "You can relax. Your daughter has nothing more than cold coupled with a badly upset stomach. Her fever is already coming down. But we'll keep her overnight—just to be sure."

Without thinking, Linc put his arm around Evan's shoulders. She sagged against him, and his grip tightened like a vise before easing.

"Can I see her?" he asked.

"Through there." The doctor pointed to a door a few feet away.

Linc started down the hall, paused, and turned back. He gave Evan a questioning look. "Coming?" He waited a moment, then held out his hand. "Evan?"

* * *

Evan saw the invitation in his eyes, the hopeful expectancy and took a step toward him—then stopped. "No. You go ahead. I'll wait for you here."

Linc's expression chilled, and his hand fell to his side. "Of course."

Oh, Linc, if you only knew how much I wanted to go to Jenny. Don't hate me. Please don't hate me.

Evan walked back to the main waiting area and sagged into a chair. She hurt, inside and out. It was as though every tissue, fiber, and nerve ending in her body were exposed. Linc. Instead of diminishing, her need for him was growing every day. And Jenny. She let her head fall back against the wall. My God, even the thought that the child might be seriously ill was terrifying.

She was more confused than she'd ever been in her life. Everything had been so simple before Linc and Jen—her path clear, her horizon unclouded. Time for herself for the first time in her adult life. She was going to put her goals first instead of last.

Why did that suddenly not seem so important?

Her answer came striding down the hospital corridor.

"Let's go. They're going to take Jen upstairs now. I'll drive you home. If I hurry, I can get back by the time they get her to her room." Linc spoke and walked briskly.

"You're staying the night?"

"Of course."

Evan glanced down the hall to where Jenny was. She longed to at least say good night. What was between Linc and her shouldn't hurt Jenny. Damn it! Harden your heart, woman. Jenny was Linc's daughter, his responsibility. She allowed him to take her elbow and guide her toward the door. She was nearly there. Nearly free.

She stopped so abruptly, Linc collided with her shoulder. The hospital's automatic doors opened and Evan took a breath of cool night air.

"I'm staying, too," she said.

Linc looked down at her. She couldn't read his eyes. Angry? Confused? She didn't know and didn't care. She was staying. Jenny needed her—and so did Linc.

"According to the doctor, she's fine. It's not necessary that you stay, or put yourself out anymore than you already have."

"I didn't say it was."

"I don't think—"

"I said I'm staying." She met his gaze

He glared at her, but seemed at war with himself. She couldn't tell if he was going to walk away from her, shove her off the hospital curb, or explode and tell her to get the hell out of his life—and Jenny's. He was silent a long moment, before he said—without a trace of emotion in his voice, "Fine. Jenny will like that."

With that, he went back through the hospital doors, Evan on his heels.

* * *

They brought Jenny home early the following morning. Maud and Copper were waiting at the door. Displaying the miraculous recuperative powers of childhood, Jenny sprang from the car and rushed to join them. Maud embraced Jenny while Copper licked chin, cheek, nose, and any other exposed skin her tongue could reach.

Evan started to get out of the car. Linc gripped her arm.

"Wait," he said. He rolled down the window.

"Maud, we'll be an hour or so. Okay?"

Maud smiled, nodded, then waved once before hustling Jenny and Copper inside. It was early, and the sky was spitting rain.

"Where are we going?" Evan turned to better see Linc's face. He hadn't said a word since leaving the house. As a matter of fact, he hadn't said much all night.

"Nowhere. Just driving." He turned the radio off and the windshield wipers on.

Evan studied his face. It was unreadable. "I'd like to go home, if it's all the same to you." The fixed set of his jaw was making her the tiniest bit nervous.

"No, you wouldn't."

"I wouldn't?"

He shook his head and shot her a sideways glance.

"So what do I want?"

Without a word, he made a left turn, drove a few yards into a park, and turned off the ignition. They were now surrounded by tall cedars, the dim morning light unable to penetrate their heavy boughs. With the car turned off, the soft swish of the wipers was replaced by the rhythm of the rain, heavier by the moment.

"You want this, and damn it, so do I." He reached for her, pulled her hard against him, and kissed her endlessly. By the time he pulled back, she was in full meltdown and completely breathless. It was a sensory ambush. When she found her voice, it was husky and foreign.

"Why did you do that?"

He cupped the base of her head with one hand; with the other he smoothed her hair behind her ear. She fought the urge to lean deeper into his supporting palm.

"Why not?" he asked.

"The old evasion. A question for a question." She shook her head. "Not good enough."

"I want you. Any way I can have you. You set the terms. Is that clear enough?" His thumb moved lazily along her hairline.

Was it his lazy caress or his softly spoken words? Something was affecting her vocal cords. She found no immediate reply.

"And you were right about marriage. It was a bad idea."

She gulped. "It was?"

He shrugged and reached up to undo the clip holding her hair in place. "Why complicate things? Right?" He put the clip on the dash.

"Right," she muttered, trying desperately to make sense of her jumbled feelings. There was relief, exhilaration, and a vague melancholy. Confusion. Did she want Linc with no ties, no commitment—no Jenny?

He combed her hair with his fingers, his blue eyes glinting in the dim light. "I want to make love to you. I want you under me, moist and clinging. I want you to come hard—over and over—while I'm deep inside you. I want to feel every quiver, every shudder, and I want to taste you—all of you." His gaze was hot and steady. "And I want that now."

She stared at him, trying to stem the wild clamor in her breast, the damp trembling between her legs. His gaze never left her when he moved the hair from her neck and bent to kiss the hollow below her ear.

"Make love with me." He took her face in his hands and kissed her, his tongue sinking deep, thrusting in a sure, blatantly sexual rhythm. He whispered an explicit request in her ear, and Evan gasped. This was no longer an ambush. It was a full-on assault. Her overheated blood thickened, and a sheen of perspiration dewed across her forehead. The screen that was her mind went blank, and when Linc pulled her across the car onto his lap, her back to his chest, the battle was won. She was his.

Her head fell back against his shoulder as he impatiently yanked up her T-shirt and undid the front clasp of her bra. His hands covered her breasts, and her nipples hardened against his palms.

* * *

Linc told himself he'd stay in control, but he was losing it. In seducing her, he'd seduced himself. Overheated. He was rigid with need, throbbing with a dull, thunderous ache only she could ease. He shifted upward, pressing himself against her, knowing there'd be no relief for him in the confined front seat of the car. Not so for Evan. He found the zipper on her jeans and pulled it down, slipping his hand into her already damp curls.

She was ready for him. He muttered words that hovered somewhere between a blessing and a curse, and his hardened flesh strained further. His zipper felt like an iron cast.

She moaned in his ear, and her heated breath made his brain pound. When he leaned back against the window, she followed, stretching to give him full and open access. He drew in a painful breath as she surged upward into his hand. Fighting his own need, he stroked her softly, rubbed her wet satin nub. She lifted to him again, and he entered her with his fingers—deeply and intimately.

She climaxed almost instantly. Then her hand covered his, arching into it, as if to savor each pulse, each tiny spasm that came with her release.

When she stilled, she said, "God. I've never—You must think I—"

He turned her face to his and kissed her into silence. He knew exactly what she was going to say. It had never been this way with him either. Never this fast, this hot. Only with Evan, the woman he loved, the woman he had to have. She shifted toward the steering wheel. And as much as he enjoyed her moving over him, the pressure building in his groin was on red alert. He was caught in his own trap, and it was fast becoming unbearable.

"You have to move, love. I'm burning up," he managed to mumble between ragged inhalations of breath.

Without a word, she turned to face him, kissed him softly, and started a slow slide down his chest. She stopped long enough to undo the buttons on his shirt. She kissed his mouth, his chin, his throat, nibbled at an available nipple along the way, licked down the taut plane of his stomach. And finally—when he could stand no more—she put out his fire.

* * *

The drive home was made in silence. With the heavy rain, it was impossible to watch the passing scenery, so Evan watched Linc. He was so obviously thoughtful. Once, she caught the tail end of a smile that hovered between a smile of satisfaction and an irritating smirk.

It rankled.

She'd done it again. Acted against her own better judgment. In a parked car. In the light of morning. The tips of her ears burned at the thought. She was hopeless. Linc made one play for her, and her defenses crumbled. Hopeless. Maybe she was some kind of sex addict. Maybe she should get treatment. She looked at him and sighed. There was no cure for Lincoln Stewart.

So, what now? Do I take Linc up on his offer of uncomplicated sex and no commitments or—

"Are you going to get out?"

She looked up from her reverie. They were home—Linc's home—she corrected herself. She hadn't even noticed.

He leaned over and opened the door. His arm brushed over her still-sensitized breasts. When she gasped and instinctively stiffened, he smiled—a maddening, knowing smile—and brushed a feathery-kiss over her mouth.

"Me, too," he whispered.

Evan clamped her mouth shut and got out of the car. She absolutely refused to make love with Linc again until things were clear in her own mind. This stew of emotion was making her a wreck. Her plans were in chaos. Cal was livid with her. Linc had taken his proposal back—and given her another one. And Jenny? Jenny had asked her last night at the hospital if she would be her mommy. What a mess.

Linc was leading her to the door.

She dug her heels in. "I'm not going in. I have to get ready for work."

"You're already late. Call in, tell them you can't make it. We need to talk." Linc—doing his commander best routine.

"No."

"No? Just like that?" He raised a questioning eye-brow.

"Just like that. I don't want to talk, until I have something to say. And right now all I am is confused. If you're looking for rational conversation or... commitment, now is not the time for it."

"You've already made the commitment. You just haven't acknowledged it. I didn't know that until now."

She stared at him. What on earth was he talking about? "If you're talking about what we, uh, did in the car"—she blushed hotly—"that was not a commitment. That was just... just—"

"Sex?" His grin was pure innocence.

Unable to stop herself, she smiled, lowering her head to hide it.

Linc chuckled. "Okay, no talk and no questions. Not today." He touched her hair. "But you might want to come in and tidy up before you see Cal. At sixteen, they know all the signs."

Evan's hands flew to her messy hair. "Thanks," she muttered, and followed him into the house. Inside she headed straight for the guest powder room off the hall.

Linc was waiting for her when she came out, a dark, backlit silhouette in the open door of the library. He was holding two mugs of coffee. He held one out to her. She hesitated.

"Chicken," he teased.

She studied him but didn't rise to the bait. "I don't get it," she said.

He took a drink from his mug and handed her the other. With a resigned gesture, she took it.

"Get what?" he asked, turning to go into the library. She followed.

"This about-face you're doing. A few days ago, you couldn't wait to get rid of me. Nothing's changed."

"I've decided it has."

"You've decided—"

He shrugged. "Someone has to take charge of this relationship. If it was left up to you, you'd bury yourself in some book and let it self-destruct."

She lifted her eyes to his. They were steadier than the beat of her heart. "I can't be Jenny's mother, Linc. You should find someone who can."

His gaze was thoughtful. "Maybe I should, but for now I'm only interested in finding a lover—for me. Interested?"

She gaped at him, incapable of keeping up with the twists and turns in this conversation.

Linc carried on. "Let's accept that we got in over our heads. That's all. Occasionally I can be a trifle... aggressive. I pushed you, too far, too fast. The white-picket-fence, two-car-garage thing. It was a mistake. I take it back."

"You can't simply take a proposal of marriage back." She ignored the painful opening of a crack somewhere near her heart.

"I just did." Linc drained his mug, looked at his watch. "And you should go now. You must be beat. I'll walk you to the cabin." He took her mug, put it beside his own on the side table, gripped her elbow, and started for the door.

Evan was mute. Either she'd gone insane or someone had tilted the world. And who was this man gripping her arm? It wasn't Linc, surely. Linc was that angry, sarcastic man who'd greeted her at the door last night. This was a stranger who, with heady kisses and a few well-chosen words, had made his intentions clear. He wanted her as his... mistress.

Linc took an umbrella from the hall closet. It kept the worst of the rain off them as they hurried down the path to the cabin. There was no sign of Cal. Evan guessed he'd already left for class. She quickly took the three steps up to the door. She had some serious thinking to do, and she needed to do it alone. When she turned to say good-bye, she bumped into the solid wall of Linc's chest.

He stepped toward her, propping the umbrella against the wall, and braced both hands on the door behind her. Her hands lifted to rest, palms flat, against his chest. She intended to push him away, but her body disobeyed the order. He leaned toward her and nuzzled her under the ear, and again her body defied her. Her breathing stalled. He nibbled on her earlobe, and his hot breath tickled and teased her ear. This was no good. No good at all.

"I think you should—"

"Shush. And no more shoulds." His lips grazed hers in a light promise of a kiss. Keeping a tantalizing distance between them, his mouth again brushed over hers as he stroked her parted lips with his tongue. Her uneven sigh whispered of her growing excitement. Held against the door by the weight of his body, Evan couldn't move, couldn't make him come closer or move him away. Linc was in total control. Her hands, crushed between them, balled into fists as she waited breathlessly for him to deepen the kiss.

He pulled back and let his hands slide up the door behind her head. The effect was to wedge them even closer together. Cocking his head, he looked down at her, his gaze hungry. His voice when he spoke was smoky and low.

"I'm not going to let you go, Evan."

Oh, God, I hope not, was the thought speeding through her brain. She barely finished it before his mouth slanted over hers in a kiss that moved her soul.

* * *

With a thank-God-it's-Friday stretch, Evan tossed her bag and jacket on the sofa and headed for the kitchen. She let the tap run to chill the water and filled a glass. The day had been unbearably long, and her brain had stayed on overdrive during all of it, though that had had little to do with the technical manual she'd been editing all day.

It was last night—and this morning. Thoughts of Linc, of what had happened between them, ran through her head constantly. Did he truly believe she'd become his lover—his mistress? Surely not. Not after—

After offering me marriage only days before. Evan shook her head. A proposal he'd been quick to take back when it suited him, she reminded herself. She wondered why that made her so angry and confused. She drank the last of her water and rinsed out the glass.

"Mom?" Cal came in the door. His bag of books joined her purse and jacket before he came into the tiny kitchen area. " How's Jenny?"

"She's fine. When I called from work, Linc said she was trying to put one of her sweaters on Copper. I was just going up to the house to see her. Want to come?" When she issued the invitation to Cal, Evan knew a tickle of anxiety. They'd barely spoken in days, and she hated the tension between them.

Their glances met, and Cal nodded. "Sure," he said, "but wait a minute. I've got something for her."

He went to dig in his backpack. He pulled out a coloring book and crayons. When Evan smiled, he looked faintly embarrassed.

"You always got me coloring books when I was sick," he said, adding, "Think Jenny will like it?"

"Cal, it wouldn't matter what you gave Jenny, she'd love it. I think she's your number-one fan."

"She's a neat kid. I like her."

Evan went quiet for a second before reaching out to touch his hair, almost as dark as her own. "Friends?" she asked.

He nodded, and his flush deepened. "I'm sorry, Mom," he said. "I wouldn't really stay here. If you want to go—we go."

Evan resisted throwing her arms around him for a seriously long cuddle. He'd be mortified. So she said, "Thanks, love. That means more to me than I can say, and I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to spring a move on you like that. I know how much you like it here. I do, too."

Cal gave her a searching look. "Then why, Mom? Why not—? Sorry, forget it," he mumbled.

She straightened away from the counter she'd been leaning on. "Let's go see Jen, okay? Then let's go out for pizza."

"You hate pizza," he reminded her.

"Consider it a bribe. I want to hear all about your first week at U Vic."

He nodded then. "Deal."

As they walked the path to Linc's house, Cal's question made its way into her mind and refused to leave.

Why not? Why not? Why?...