Dreams Don't Wait

chapter 11





"That was a first," Linc said, a lazy finger tracing a path over her collarbone.

They were contentedly tangled in the sheets of his massive four-poster—as was Evan's buttonless blouse.

"For me too," Evan said, planting a soft kiss on his chest. She was glad Linc couldn't see the faint blush covering her cheeks. She had no idea what came over her when she was with him. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she was a sinful wanton. But right now it seemed more than possible that she could enjoy making love with this man until she was a hundred years old. Just then his hand moved from her shoulder to her breast in a tender caress. When he started to play with her nipple, she almost purred. Make that two hundred, she told herself, arching closer.

"Evan?"

"Uh-huh?" Her nipple hardened under his hand, and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Are you, or are you not, going to marry me?" he asked.

She stroked the muscles in his arm, then his shoulder, the movement somewhat jittery. She couldn't answer. She wanted to, but she couldn't.

Linc waited before going on. "Is it Cal? Are you afraid he won't approve?" A tinge of worry colored his question.

"Disapprove? I don't think so. He's already suggested I try to nab you."

Linc laughed. "Smart kid." After a short silence, he added, "I would be proud to call him son. I want you to know that."

Evan crossed her arms across Linc's chest and rested her head at an angle to look at him. Could it work? Could it? When she spoke, her throat started to tighten. "Cal would like that."

Her words seemed to startle him. "Can I take that to mean the lady is weakening? Is that a 'yes' I hear?"

"The lady takes the fifth."

"Good, that means you're guilty as charged." He ran his fingertips down her back. "And as good as mine."

"Linc, don't push—please." Or I'll say that yes. Yes, yes, yes! Her mind screamed it, yet still the word stuck hard in her throat. It should be easy... She curled her fingers in Linc's soft chest hair.

"Is it pushing to tell you that Jen would be thrilled to have you for a mother? She's crazy about you, Evan."

"It's mutual." That much at least was true, she thought, trying to ignore the slight heaviness around her heart. Why, when it came to Jenny, did she feel like a push-me-pull-you, a creature with two heads, each going in the opposite direction?

Linc chuckled softly. "The truth is, I'm a bit jealous. She can't get enough of you. Even as a full-time mother, I'd bet she'd be trailing you around."

"Full-time mother?" she echoed.

Linc didn't answer her non-question.

"I'd have to quit my job," she added stupidly.

Linc kissed her forehead. "You won't need to work. I'll take care of Cal's tuition, if that's what you're worried about. I've never had the impression you were strongly committed to Moore Write. Was I wrong?" He twisted his head to look down at her.

"No, I guess not," she mumbled, keeping her face pinned to his warm chest. So maybe it was the best job she'd ever had; it was still only a means to finance Cal's education... and then her dream: years of ivy halls, walls of books, foreign ports, and freedom to do whatever she wanted to do. You can't have it all, Evangeline North, you have to make a choice.

The man you love or the life you planned.

Linc's fingers forked into her hair, and his broad palms tightened on her temples. He lifted her face to his, his gaze, deeply blue and demanding, locked with hers. "Marry me, Evan" was all he said before his mouth covered hers in a promising, possessive kiss.

She didn't answer, couldn't answer, so she kissed him back with all that she was, all that she hoped to be. Her body said what Linc wanted to hear, even as a bright corner of her mind slowly began to dim.

* * *

Later that day, Evan walked to the end of the rocky point outside her cabin. The wind stung, sharp with the threat of more rain. She turned her face into it and breathed deeply.

One thing was clear; Linc wanted a full-time mother for Jenny. After his own lonely upbringing and his ex-wife's less than motherly attitude, it was natural. Hadn't he changed his own life—moving to Victoria, working at home—for the sole purpose of spending more time with Jenny? He'd expect no less from her, and she couldn't bear to disappoint him. If she wanted Linc, and Jenny, her dreams would have to wait.

The first drops of rain touched her face.

Like they have since I was fourteen, she added inwardly, remembering the pain of having to leave school. An A student, she'd begged her mother to let her at least finish out the year. She clenched her eyelids to shut out her mother's damning words.

"You made your bed, young lady, when you opened your legs for that useless boy, so lie in it. There'll be no more schooling for you."

"But I did finish, Mom." She whispered the words into the wind. "I damn well did."

Refusing to leave Cal to attend classes, she'd done high school online, staring at a wheezing outdated laptop screen until far into the night. Only the thought of those ivy halls—someday—kept her going.

She made fists of her hands and stuffed them into her jacket pockets.

"My life would be a lot easier if I'd never met you, Lincoln Stewart, or Jenny. And it certainly would be easier not to love you—either of you," she mumbled the last words into her upturned collar, not wanting the wind to hear.

Your life would be empty... bone-chillingly empty. Admit it. Stop being such a self-centered coward..

She lifted her chin in defiance. "I just don't want to carry around anymore regrets. I want to be sure—absolutely sure—about my commitment. Is that so damn wrong?" With that, she turned her face from the growing wind and headed home.

* * *

"Do you think we'll make it, Evan?" Maud asked. She was loading the dishwasher.

Evan was storing the remains of Jenny's cake in a plastic container. That done, she leaned against the counter and sipped her flat, tepid cola. She glanced out the window at the children scattered over Linc's manicured lawn.

"I think we can safely say our mission is accomplished. There're only a few kids left, and their parents are here to pick them up," Evan replied.

Maud wiped her hands and came to look out the window. "I think it went well, don't you? Jenny had a wonderful time. And did you see her face when Linc gave her the pup? What was it she called her again?"

"Copper," Evan answered.

"Yes. Copper." Maud smiled before continuing. "I thought her grin would never quit." She nodded in Linc's direction. He was talking to one of the children's fathers. "I know he spoils her sometimes, but... well... he's such a wonderful father. So loving. So unlike—" She stopped.

"So unlike his own parents?" Evan finished for her.

"They were so distant. So caught up in their own affairs that..." Her voice faded. "Well, you know all that. No need to belabor it."

No, no need. She understood perfectly. And Linc was right. There was nothing more important to a young child than warm, loving parents; accessible parents who were there—always—when the child needed them most, not holed up in some classroom writing finals.

She studied the sharp lines of the black-and-white tiled floor and drank the last of her cola. Yes, she knew all that, agreed with it. The question was, could she be such a parent? Certainly her life would be easier raising Jenny than it had been with Cal. That was obvious. But easier didn't demand any less commitment.

"Evan." Maud was craning to see out the window. "Do you see Jenny anywhere?"

Evan scanned the huge expanse of lawn. Linc was saying goodbye to the last of the parents. There was no sign of Jenny or Copper. Evan quickly walked to the French doors and stepped out. Maud followed.

"You check the house, Maud. I'll take a good look around outside." Evan's pulse was starting to jump as she left the house.

Within minutes both women were back in the kitchen. They arrived as Linc came into the house, Cal at his side. He didn't miss the anxious expressions on their faces. "What is it?" he asked.

"We can't seem to find Jenny, Linc," Evan said, keeping her tone neutral so as not to alarm him. "Are all the other children gone?"

Linc nodded, his expression taut. "When did anyone last see her?"

"Near the edge of the lawn with the pup—maybe fifteen, twenty minutes ago," Cal offered.

"She can't be far then," Linc said crisply. "Cal, you and Maud take the road. You go one way. Maud the other. Evan and I will check the beach."

Everyone nodded, and Evan instinctively reached out to touch Cal's hair. It was a gesture of remembrance. A grim determination descended over all of them.

"Let's go," Linc said, then mumbled under his breath, "Thank God we have lots of light yet. She can't be far."

* * *

Two hours later, the light was fading and four uniformed policemen had returned to the main house after conducting their own search. A fruitless one. There'd been no sign of Jenny or the pup. It was time for paperwork.

Evan couldn't bear to look at Linc, who was pacing the room with the desperation of the impotent, anguish drawing his face into hard, rigid lines. Again his hand forked through his hair as he stopped to answer a policeman's question. Evan was certain this was the first time Linc had ever faced a situation so beyond his control. She remembered the feeling all too well.

The atmosphere in the elegant room seethed with the unbearable frustration of those present. Pain, fright, and mind-numbing worry were as tangible as the books on the shelves. Evan fought back tears and the enveloping terror that a missing child evokes. Her skin went damp and clammy as her own memories of Cal's disappearance overwhelmed her, chilling her insides until her bones were ice. Reliving this nightmare with Linc had opened old wounds that tore at her heart. She looked up at his grim face and prayed.

Two hours. Jenny had been gone two interminable hours. But Cal had been gone for nearly four, and he'd been okay. Everything had worked out. Dear God, please make Jenny okay. Bring her safely home.

Abruptly Evan rose from her chair. She had to get out of there. They'd been back at the house for only ten minutes; it seemed like an hour. She had to keep looking for Jenny. Linc's eyes locked with hers. His face was ashen. He nodded.

"Let's go," he said, reaching for her hand.

The younger officer tried to dissuade him. "Mr. Stewart, we should finish this report."

"Later," Linc said tersely, then added, "after we find my daughter."

Without another word, they headed toward the beach. They passed Maud on the way. At their silent question, she shook her head. "I'm going back up the road," she added.

"Is Cal still down there?" Evan asked, gesturing toward the shoreline. She rubbed her hands, trying to warm them.

Maud nodded. "But I haven't seen him for a while."

"Which way did he go?" Linc asked.

"Left, toward the cove. He hasn't stopped looking, you know, not even for a minute." Maud's voice broke and her eyes were glazed with unshed tears. Evan could see the effort of will it took for her to hold them back. It was as if they all knew it was not the time for tears. Tears were for grieving. They would not grieve. They would find Jenny.

The light was fading rapidly as Linc and Evan reached the rocky beach. They were about to split up when Evan raised a hand. "Listen," she said.

It was faint, but from the distance came the unmistakable sound of Cal's voice. He was shouting, but even straining to hear, they couldn't decipher his words.

Something in his voice did come through, and in that instant Evan knew.

"Come on, Linc. He's found her; I know he has."

Linc and Evan raced down the beach in the direction of Cal's voice. They found him with a very tired and frightened five-year-old girl and a pup considerably the worse for wear. The pup was in his arms. Jenny rushed into her father's embrace, tears coursing across one of the dirtiest faces Evan had ever seen.

"I found her way past the cove," Cal said. "She and the pup must have been traveling flat out to cover so much ground."

"I went too far, Daddy. Copper wouldn't stop, and then..." Jenny sniffed into her father's shoulder, before turning sad eyes to Evan. "And then she hurt herself, and she wouldn't come. I couldn't leave her by herself. Cal thinks she's sprained." With that came a full-scale plea. "Will you fix her, Daddy? Please."

"Shush, honey, Daddy will fix her. Let Evan hold you a minute while I take a look."

Linc and Evan exchanged weary, grateful smiles as Jenny went from his arms into hers. The child wrapped herself around Evan's still-trembling body with the easy dexterity of a young monkey. Evan cupped her bottom, kissed her, and held her close. "You scared us silly, you know," she said and kissed her again. "You should have come back for us, sweetheart. We would have helped you with Copper." Evan then gave her a big hug. "Promise me you won't ever, ever go away again."

"I promise, Evan," Jenny said solemnly. "Did I make a blooper?"

Laughter, half nerves, half relief, welled up from Evan's heart. "A great big one, sweetie. One big enough to last your dad and Maud a very long time. From now on, neither of them will want to let you out of their sight."

Linc glanced up from where he was kneeling by the whimpering pup. She saw the question in his eyes before her gaze slid from his.

"Now, let's go tell Maud we found you," she added.

* * *

Within minutes, the police were gone, and Maud was upstairs helping Jenny with her bath. Linc went to the bar in the family room and poured himself a drink. He downed the shot of scotch in one swallow, closed his eyes against the burn, and leaned back against the bar. When he opened his eyes, he turned them on Evan. "I think I can honestly say that's the first time I've ever needed a drink. God, what a nightmare."

She nodded, watching as his tension eased and wishing her own hopelessly knotted state would let up. "She's safe now. Everything's all right."

"Yeah." He gestured toward the bar. "Are you sure you wouldn't like something?"

She shook her head. "If it's okay with you, I think I'll go to the cabin." Her eyes dropped. "I'm tired, I need a shower, and you should spend some time with your daughter. She might have trouble sleeping tonight. I remember when Cal—" She stopped before she started to ramble.

Linc stared at her, not moving. His eyes were sharp, probing. Evan rubbed a palm against her thigh. When his gaze traced her movement, her hand stilled.

"Something's wrong," he stated flatly.

"No. Nothing's wrong." The intensity of his stare made her feel cornered. "Like I said, I'm tired. I think I'll talk to Cal for a while and then go to bed. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."

Momentarily his gaze questioned; then he nodded reluctantly. He walked toward her and put his hands on her upper arms. When he rubbed them softly, the heat of his hands penetrated her flesh like warm oil. He leaned down to kiss her. "Tomorrow then," he murmured against her lips, before pulling back and striding from the room.

Tomorrow? Evan didn't think so.

* * *

Evan stood over the frying pan, staring at the eggs as their edges curled and darkened. It was the wisp of pan smoke that roused her. She tucked a curse under an exasperated breath and dumped the contents of the pan into the trash.

Just then Cal came out of the bathroom.

"Hey, nice work, Mom." He sniffed and headed for the toaster, from which he pulled two blackened squares. "Now, this"—he held them up—"is truly an accomplishment. Burned toast from an automatic toaster." He dropped the charred bread in the garbage along with the eggs.

"The toaster's new," she said, trying not to sound defensive. "I guess I forgot to adjust the settings."

"Whatever." With that his autopilot took him to the fridge. He opened the door and perused the contents with the eye of a true connoisseur. For Cal all things food related were serious business.

"Cal?" Evan broke the last two eggs into the pan.

"Uh-huh?" He pulled out the orange juice.

"How would you feel about..." She swallowed hard.

"Yeah?" He took a swig of juice from the bottle.

"I told you not to do that. It's... disgusting," she snapped.

Cal held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "Okay, okay. Sorry." He dug out a glass. "Better?"

"Better." Evan turned back to the frying eggs.

"So? How would I feel about what?" he asked.

Evan stiffened. Here it was. She couldn't put it off any longer. She owed it to Cal to be honest. That's the way it was between them.

"Moving."

Cal gave her his full attention. "Tell me you didn't say what I thought you said."

She turned. "I said moving."

"Sh—" he stopped himself just in time. "But why? Why move now? I thought everything was set, that we had this place for at least a year. Rent-free. That's what you said."

"I did and we do, but... things change."

Cal gave her a steely look. She dropped her eyes. He wasn't going to make this easy.

"Mom, this place is fifteen minutes from U Vic. I finished registering for my classes last week. What's the deal here?"

She started to speak and couldn't. She wanted to be honest with Cal, but she'd never had to deal with anything this personal before. The words wouldn't come. It was Cal who supplied them.

"It's you and Linc, right?" He had the grace to color a little. Obviously this conversation wouldn't be easy for him either.

She nodded. "Yes." She turned off the latest batch of burned eggs and leaned against the counter to face her son.

"So?" he urged, and cocked his head. "He wants us to leave?"

"Not yet, but he will."

"I don't get it."

"He wants me to marry him, and I, uh, don't want to." She took a long breath. "When I tell him that, it's a safe bet he won't want us around."

Cal stared at her as if she'd just landed in the room wearing a cape and goggles. "You're kidding. This is wild. You're going to say no—to Linc." He shook his head. "You're nuts, Mom. He's completely cool."

"Maybe so, but I can't marry him, and I don't think you need to know more than that," she said. "I'll look for a new place for us—as close as I can get to the university. When I find it, we'll move."

Cal's lips compressed into a rigid line. He took a moment before saying, "I don't think so."

"I beg your pardon." Evan who'd turned back toward the counter, swung to face him.

"I said I don't think so. I'm going to stay here. Linc didn't ask me to marry him, and the way I see it"—he shrugged before giving his shoulders a straight stubborn set—"I'll still be welcome here. I can baby-sit Jenny as well as you can, if that's what it takes."

"You can't be serious. That's crazy. You're not old enough to be left on your own."

"I'm nearly seventeen. That's old enough not to have to move when you don't want to."

She stared at him, trying to ignore this new rip in her heart. "You are serious?" She couldn't take it in. This was Cal, her Cal.

Silence was her only answer as her son resolutely studied the floor. His lower lip quivered, and he bit it till it whitened, holding it under his teeth.

Evan never knew how painful silence could be until that moment. The hurt it inflicted was as violent, as agonizing, as a physical wound. Her energy drained from her with a suddenness that made her weak. Unable to bear his denial, she turned to face the counter, leaned on it for support.

"Fine," she said tersely. "If that's what you want, Cal. I won't try to stop you. When I tell Linc about my decision tonight, I'll ask him if you can stay on. I'll let you know what he says later." Hoping that he'd change his mind, she kept her back to him, her eyes closed, waiting—until she heard the door close.

She dropped her head between her shoulders then and wept. Everything was a mess. She couldn't believe Cal would desert her. Dear God, his face, the disappointment. He'd looked as if he hated her. And he probably did. She had little doubt that Linc would feel the same way.

* * *

At two o'clock Linc called to tell them Maud was making a special dinner to celebrate Jenny's safe return. Evan's wits scattered at the sound of his deep voice; it went straight to her heart. She couldn't imagine how she was going to say good-bye—but say it she must. It was best for everyone. She'd thought about nothing else since this morning.

And Cal? She'd thought about him, too. He'd come to understand. He had to. That was teenage disappointment this morning, nothing more.

"Evan. Did you hear me?" Linc cut in on her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, no. What did you say?"

"I asked if six o'clock's okay."

Evan glanced toward Cal's bedroom door; it was still closed. "Fine. Six is fine. We'll be there." She accepted for both of them. "How's Jenny... and Copper?"

Linc chuckled softly. "They're both okay. Resilient beings—kids and dogs. Looking at them today, you'd never guess what a hell yesterday was. This parenting definitely has a dark side."

You're telling me, Evan thought, looking again at Cal's closed door. Lost in thought, she didn't answer.

"Is something wrong?" Linc asked.

"No. Nothing."

"Good." Linc's tone lowered, turned intimate. "I'd like your answer, Evan. You are thinking about it, aren't you—about us?"

Words crowded into her mind, but they lacked substance and were inadequate. "Yes." At least that was true. She hadn't thought of anything else since yesterday.

"And you're sure everything's okay?"

"Everything's fine." She didn't want to say any more, not now, not on the telephone. "We'll talk later—after dinner."

There was a strained moment before he spoke again. His words were clipped. "I think I'll let you talk while I listen. See you at six."

Evan replaced the receiver and, for a time, stared vacantly at the hand still resting on the phone, every cell, nerve, and muscle in her body at war.

When she finally turned, it was to see Cal's eyes fixed on her, his expression a mixture of anger, confusion, and... grief.

"Why are you doing this, Mom? I don't get it."

"Cal, I'm not sure I can make you understand." When I don't understand myself. Linc was every woman's dream. But she had another dream, a dream that had sustained her and carried her through her darkest days. A dream not easily vanquished. A dream that held its ground.

"So try."

"Okay." Evan walked to the window. "I want... time—for me. You would call it space. There's things I want to do. Just for me. School. Travel. Can you understand that?"

His expression didn't change, but his brow furrowed. Evan's heart sank. For over half her life she'd loved him to the exclusion of all else, and while she wouldn't trade a day of it, she'd dreamed of a time when she'd be someone other than a mother and provider. How could she expect him to understand her selfish yearning to reclaim a part of the life she'd forfeited so many years ago?

His expression confirmed his confusion, but she plunged on. "I want the freedom to do what I want. I don't want... responsibility to anyone other than myself."

"We have to move because you think Linc's a responsibility?" He looked more confused than ever.

"Not Linc exactly," she said. Oh God, this was hopeless. He'd never understand. At his age everything was black or white, no grays, no such thing as mixed emotions. "Let's just forget it."

He eyed her intensely, then cut to the bone. "Jenny. You don't want Jenny. That's it, isn't it?" He looked at her in much the same way she'd looked at the raw oysters. "So what's the matter with her? Not up to your standard or something?"

"Cal! How can you say such a thing?"

"So what then?" His face was stony. "She's too much trouble? What?" His voice rose an octave.

Evan's temper flared. She fought it down. "It has nothing to do with anything like that. I love Jenny. I just don't want to..."

"Be her mother. Is that what you're trying to say?"

Hearing Linc's voice, she spun around, felt the blood drain from her face. He was leaning in the open doorway, and while his stance was casual, his body was rigid with hurt and anger. She had no idea how long he'd been there. His gaze raked over her in cold appraisal as if he were seeing her for the first time.

"That is what you meant, isn't it?"

"It's not what you think. I—" She hesitated.

He lifted a hand, cut her off. "Forget it. I don't need an explanation. I've had lots of experience with non-maternal women." Almost to himself, he added, "By now I should recognize the type."

He straightened, moving away from the door, his blue eyes cold with contempt. "Maud's sister called, right after we hung up. Dinner's off," he said. "Their mother has taken a bad turn. I'm driving Maud there now. I came down because I thought you might like to go with Jenny and me." He gave her a frozen stare. "Some jackass idea, right?" Without another word, he walked out of the cabin.

Evan glanced at a stricken Cal, then followed Linc out the door. He was halfway up the path to the house before she caught up with him.

She touched his arm, and he shook her off, but he did stop. Pinning her with a cold, impatient stare, he said, "What do you want? Maud's waiting."

"I want you to understand. It's not what you think. I love Jenny. You know I do. It's because I—"

"I don't want to hear this," he said wearily. "Look, you don't want Jenny, and you don't want me. I get the picture."

God, please help me make him understand. "I love you, Linc..."

He snorted.

"And I love Jenny."

This time he rolled his eyes.

Evan went on, ignoring her own rising temper. "But I want to love myself, too. This relationship with you... it, uh, caught me off guard." She took a deep breath and met his steely gaze. "I had plans of my own and—"

"And you aren't about to change them for me—especially not for Jenny. Right?" His eyes narrowed, turned speculative. "It was yesterday, wasn't it. Jenny going missing."

"This has nothing to do with yesterday," she lied.

"I don't believe you."

Maybe yesterday had been the catalyst—making her come to her senses. All she knew was that if she couldn't do right by Jenny—become the mother she deserved—it was best she leave. She squared her shoulders. "I told you when I came here I wasn't looking for a husband... a child..."

"So you did. I guess all the time we spent together addled my brain. I thought you'd changed your mind, and here all you were out for was some good sex. My mistake."

Evan recoiled.

He leaned toward her, took her chin in his hand, and laid final claim to her mouth with a hard, dispassionate kiss. Still holding her face to his, he gave her a cold smile. "Of course, we could go back to my original tasteless proposition. You know, the one where you warm my bed but stay the hell out of my life." He pulled his hand back. "You're good in bed. I'll give you that. One of the best I've ever had."

Evan's eyes filled with tears, and she bit her lip. He was hurt, he wanted to hurt back. Fair enough. Blinking hard, she said, "We'll be gone as soon as I can find a place."

His eyes darkened with pain, but he quickly dispelled it. "Good." Without another word, he strode up the path.

Evan wrapped her arms around herself and watched him go through a fog of tears.

It was done.

* * *

It wasn't easy finding a place near the university, especially during the first week of classes. But Evan lucked out. The tiny basement apartment was available in two weeks. Two weeks, she sighed. Forever.

Dropping her sweater and bag on the chair nearest the door, she headed for the beach. The cabin was far too empty.

She thought of Linc—still. She'd thought of no one else in the four days since she'd seen him. She hadn't seen Jenny, either. No doubt Linc was keeping her away. Four long, lonely days. She wished Maud were here, but she was still at her sister's. What would Maud think? Evan tossed a stone into the incoming tide.

Cal.

She'd scarcely seen Cal since he'd started his classes. When he was home, he spent most of his time at the main house with Linc and Jenny. Tonight he'd stayed at school. She tried to ignore the hurt, telling herself he would come around when they moved into their new place.

All in all it was the most miserable four days of her life. She wished she'd been able to work late, as she had every other night this week, but the office wasn't busy. It was odd to be home at six o'clock, tossing endless pebbles into an endless ocean.

She brushed the sand from her hands and started back to the house. She'd make something to eat, then read. How terribly exciting, Evan. Perhaps someone should alert the press.

She was no sooner in the cabin door than the phone rang. It was Linc.

He was curt and to the point. "Is Cal there?"

Every organ in her body seemed to be ricocheting, but she managed to steady her voice. "No. He's at the university."

"Damn!"

She waited.

"Will he be back sometime soon?"

"I don't think so. He said he'd be late."

"Damn!" he said again, then let out a long, irritated breath. "Evan..." He stopped.

"Yes?" She was holding her breath but had no idea why.

There was a pause before he continued, each word hard edged and reluctant. "Look, I'd rather cut out my tongue than ask, but I don't have any choice. I even called Caressa, but she's out of town. I was hoping Cal would—" He broke off to swear again. "Would you look after Jenny for a couple of hours?" The question came out with the grace of a root-bound molar. "The owner of the hotel site is flying in unexpectedly. He's leaving first thing tomorrow, and I need to go over a design change. Believe me, if I had any alternative, I wouldn't ask. You must have a million things you'd rather do than look after my daughter."

Evan ignored the barb. She was listening too hard for the whisper of a song playing somewhere near her heart. "When do you want me?" she said.

There was another pause. "Twenty minutes?"

"I'll be there."

He hung up.

Evan replaced the receiver. She was going to see Linc. She was excited, scared, happy, and overwhelmingly sad. She told herself she was foolish, irrational, and a little bit crazy, but it didn't help. She wanted to see him, ached to see him, while at the same time dreading the sight of his cold, unfeeling eyes. Cursing her confusion, she headed for the bedroom to change.

He hates you, she reminded herself; nothing's changed in the last four days. Better for him and better for me, she thought stoically, but couldn't bring herself to believe it.